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myOtaku.com: Gene Outlaw


Monday, May 1, 2006


New Rules on a whim
New Rule: If you need to shave and you still collect baseball cards, you're gay. If you're a kid, the cards are keepsakes of your idols. If you're a grown man, they're pictures of men.

New Rule: Ladies, leave your eyebrows alone. Here's how much men care about your eyebrows: do you have two of them? Okay, we're done.

New Rule: I'm not an expert on child psychology, but I'm willing to go out on a limb and say any student who makes his hair into horns deserves a little extra watching.

New Rule: Stop bringing out DVD's so soon! I'm still ignoring you in the theater!

New Rule: The guy who wrote Why Do Men Have Nipples? must write another book called If You Care, Then You're Gay.

New Rule: This year, instead of running a new Kentucky Derby, Kentucky must just show an old one. No one will know the difference. They've been showing the same NASCAR race since 1994, and no one seems to mind.


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