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Wednesday, February 1, 2006
Welcome to New Rules
New Rule, Some must stop the Cirque du Soleil. If we hate the French so much, how come we gave them Las Vegas? There are now six Cirque du Solieil related shows on the strip. Six! Who wants to spend 2 hours watching a bunch of French chicks fold themselves in half? You know what, scratch that. New Rule: We need more Cirque du Soliel.
New Rule, If you have to set up a big-screen TV and show the Daytona 500 to get people into your church, as one church in Fredericksburg, Virginia, does, then your flock is not worshiping Jesus; they're worshipping Dale Earnhardt Jr. And there's a difference: One is the son of god, and the other died on a cross for your sins.
New Rule, When the penis-enlargement pills you bought fail to enlarge you penis, don't file a lawsuit. Yes, I'm talking to you, Micheal Coluzzi of Burlington, New Jersey. You see, Micheal Coluzzi, lawsuits are in the public record and now everyone in Burlington knows you, Micheal Coluzzi, have a shameful secret.
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