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Tuesday, December 6, 2005
New Rules #22
New rule, Ass-kissing must be done in person. Yes, I'll "continue to hold" but not because you said," your call is important to us." If my call was really important to you, you'd hire a human to pick up the damn phone.
New rule, call things what they are. If your morning coffee contains crushed ice, whipped cream, and caramel, it's a milk shake. Same as if you cook your cocaine on a spoon and smoke it, you're not freebasing; you're a crackhead. And if you go down on your husband after he gives you a new fur coat, you're not celebrating your anniversary; you're a ----oh, never mind.
New rule, dead people can't write advice columns. Dear Abby has been dead for yeard, yet she continues her daily syndicated column. If I want to hear what a corpse thinks, I'll read Robert Novak.
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