Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Deh De Dehhh
People seem incresingly stupid now a days. I'm sure some of you know people or may even be guilty yourseves of some of the stuff I'll come to mention here today. Like for starters, for those of you who drive, when ever you get hit, regardless of whos fault it is, the other guy alaways gets out and looks to you like it's your fault. Even if he back ends you, he just looks at you like "Uh, why did you stop at that red light and let me hit you doing 80." And it's things like this that bring me to my next point. I was talking to some kid at school the other day, and when I say talking to him, what I really mean is he was trying to impress me with some moronic story about getting bitten by a shark or how he can five thousand push ups or some stupid shit like that. Anyway, somewhere along the way it turned into a story about driving, and the instant I heard him say this.... Doctors say they don't know what causes brain anurisums. I think I have discoverd the causes, it's when you shit like what he said and I quote "I wish we lived in a country where we didn't have to where seat belts." I looked to this jackass so quickly, I thought my neck might snap. On my face a blank expression followed by the words 'Stupid mother Fucker' at the top of my lungs. Let me explain this, I wear my seat belt because I when I was little me and my dad were going to the store and he looked back to me and said "ut your seat belt on. I'm not going to tell you again." Now I was a stupid little kid and just ignored him. Next thing, he slams on his brakes and my head bounces off the back of his and off the back of mine and off the window nest to me. I never went without a seat belt again. And it's not just seat belts, I hear middle school kids telling me "I can't wait til I'm sixteen and I don't have to wear a helmet anymore." Listen, I wear a helmet by choice, because I realize my head is softer then the ground. Kids now a day lack any respect for there parents. I was at a store, wal-mart, about a week ago, and just down the way there was a little kid screaming and fussing and making one hell of a scene. Now I remember when I was a kid, my dad would take me off tot he side before even going into a store and would say "Now we go inhere, you don't talk to anyone, you don't ask for anything and if you embarass me, son of bitch..." I knew better then to fuck with my parents man. I remember one time we were standing outside of some store, I think it was target of something. Anyway, we were walking up there and my dad just *thump* on the back of my head "Don't start something" I was like 6 at the time and I just remember thinking 'did he just hit me for shit I might do' maybe not those exact words but you get the point. I use to get prevenitive beatings like that, they hit me before I even did anything to make sure I wouldn't do it. I see this kid screaming and his parents are just folding to his every whim. I don't have kids, nor do I want them, but I'll say this: even I know more about parenting then them. Listen here's a tip, if your kid starts acting up with the whole "I don't need you, I'm a big boy "crap, you know what you do: Leave him there, leave him at the store. Now for those fo you who take this shit too litteraly, you don't actually leave him at the god damn store. What you do is, when he starts this crap you just wait for him to look away long enough for you to sneak off and hide from him. Then you wait, he'll be cool for a minute, you know, til he notices your gone. He's gonna stop and look around, then it's gonna start. He's gonna fucking lose it "Mommy, where are you?" He's gonna scream and cry and you just sit back and watch. Now I know for you caring parents, your gonna wanna run up to him and make him feel better, but trust me this is good for him. You just let him scream and make a scene like that. You should step in when he starts the hyper-ventalating thing where he's crying so bad he can't breath, that's when you need to come out and go "Oh, hey over here." I promise you won't have trouble with this shit no more, he's gonna run up "What's the wrong with you...... I'm not big I'm still little you crazy bitch..... That man thinks I'm retarded." That will be the end of that problem. Parents, drivers and high school students in this country and any other for that matter need to start using those lumps three feet above there asses if they ever expect results. Trust me, my parents knew how to handle me and I came out okay and if you follow my simple rules to parenthood you can do well to. If your curious just ask.
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