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Wednesday, November 23, 2005
New Rule #17
New rule, you can't claim you're the party of smaller government and then make laws about love. What business is it of the state how consenting adults chose to pair off, share expenses, and eventually stop having sex with each other? Why does the Bush administration want a constitutional amedment about weddings? Hey, why stop at weddings--- Birthdays are important; let's put them in the great document. Let's make a law that gay people can have birthdays, but straight people get more cake--- you know, to send the right message to the kids. Republicans are always saying we should provatize things, like schools, prison, social security----how about we privatize privacy? If the government forbids gay men from tying the knot, what's their alternative? They can't all marry Liza Minelli.
New rule, stop saying athletes do it for the love of the game. They do it for the love of their 32-room mansions with the live shark tank in the living room. Bass fishermen do it for the love of the game, which is why so few of them have agents. If pro sports paid minimum wage, Shaquille O'Neal would be a bouncer at Scores, and Anna Kournikova would be a mail order brde from Minsk.
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