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Monday, November 14, 2005
New Rules #14
New rule, no more serial killers with the initials for a nickname, like the "bind, torture,kill" killer, BTK. It'll just encourage copycats, like "BLT" who kills you and then has a nice sandwich. Or "KFC" who kills you and then places your body parts in buckets. Or "ADD" who starts killing you but then loses interest. OR "LBJ" who kills you while holding you up by the ears. Or "RSVP" who plans to kill, but then calls and says he can't make it....
New rule, the government dosen't need to worry about cheerleaders. The Texas senate just passed a law against "overtly sexual" cheerleading. This is a horrible law. For one big thing, how do these people think we train our next generation of strippers? I'm sorry, but the only time anyone in government should be spending time on sheerleaders is when his wife is away and he's actually on a cheerleader.
New rule, priests should be allowed to marry. What better way to ensure celibacy?
New rule,Stop telling me not to talk to you until you've had your coffee, you pathetic junkie. In fact, I'll make a deal with you: I won't talk to you 'Before' you've had your coffee if you won't talk to me 'after' you've had your coffee.
New rule, if you're blind, you don't have to pick up your guide dogs poop. In calkfornia, a blind couple went to court over a complaint that they didn't. You see, they would have, but they can't see shit!
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