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Saturday, November 12, 2005
New Rules #12
New rule, drugs are the symptom, not the problem itself. There's a reason speed is ravaging Small Town, USA: There's nothing else to do. Sorry, John Mellencamp, but the farms are all gone, the tastee-freez is closed, and the little pink house burned down in a meth lab explosion. The nearest job is forty miles away at the Wal-Mart, and they lock you in at night. If you want the kids to stay off the crank, you need to put them on something else---a bus out of town.
New rule, Norht Korea dosen't need nuclear weapons---it needs Ritalin. It's not a nuclear superpower. It's more like a four year old who won't stop shoeing people his penis. There, we're all paying attention to you, now put that thing away. Maybe the real problem is being the little brother with a hand me down name, NORTH Korea. Why don't we change its name to something nice, like Really Really West Hawaii?
New rule, morning people must keep it to themselves. By the time you stop and explain you're a morning person, it's too late--- you've already annoyed me. We get it--- You're up and ready to go at the crack of dawn, just like my dick.
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