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Tuesday, November 8, 2005
New rule #10
New rule, stop being shocked when reality TV contestants turn out to be wife beaters, drug addicts, shoplifters, and porn stars. They're letting us marry them to strangers and make them eat ell shit. They don't have the gene for shame---Tah's why there on reality TV shows.
New rule, Now playing the guitar and the harmonica at the same time. Yes, I know it's pssible, but it always sounds like shit, and you look like an idiot doing it. If you must have both playing at the same time, hire another musician. How much could a harmonica player cost? Wearing a harmonica harness is only exceptable if you live in the subway and have to make a living doing such, and you must also have symbals strapped between your knees.
New rule, you don't get a million dollars for being gay. Remember Dick Cheney's daughter Mary? The one John Kerry mentioned was a lesbian and the republicans pretended to get irate? Well, she just got a million dollar advance to write her "memoirs". Memoirs? Chapter one: My dad's vice president. Chapter Two: I like pussy . The end.
New rule, The end of friends is not a national tragedy. It is just a sitcom that when off the air. One week Darren was complaining to Samantha about Larry Tate, the next week he wasn't. And nobody cared. Each character on Friends has fucked every other character in every possible combination, including that monkey. Let it go already.
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