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myOtaku.com: Gene Outlaw

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Yard Sale Hell!
Hello my friends, I have returned and I come baring new rules and fun stories of suburban life. Today I share my first yard sale story.

Unfortunatly I found it neccesary to hold my first yard sale to clear room in my apartment. So me and my GF got together and broguht out all my old crap and pretty much put it in front of her house, because my apartment complex won't let me set up there, so I went to her place.

So I set up all my things, I had old clothes, movies, CDs, even just some novelty items.

So, now I'm set and just waiting you know for people to come by and buy my old crap. It was at this point that I realized how stupid an idea the yard/garage sale really is. I mean, you stand outside all day to try and sell the crap you don't want to people you don't know.

Of course, in typical yard sale fashion, the first people to come over were the neighbors. And of course they didn't want to buy anything, they just wanted to see what there neighbors had been hiding from them all these years. They jsut poked at everything and then moved on.

Finally my first "real" customer came and they always go straight to the weirdest thing you have for sale: "Hey! Why are you selling this budha, cigarette lighter, toe nail clipper?"

And you can't go "Cause it's a piece of shit!" Because you want them to buy it, so you have to make something up: "Oh, well...uhh, we just got a new one and this one makes coffee, so were just gonna let that one go."

But this was the biggest kick in the head to me. This older guy and his wife, probably in there 60's stopped at the sale. And when I say stopped, I mean they came to a screeching halt in there little caddilac. So now I'm scared because people are risking there lives to look at my trash.

So the old guy gets out, his wife sits in the car and just keeps sipping her diet coke out of one of those damn bendy straws like the kind you get at the hospital. Which I can't figure out why you'd want to have one of those. I mean it's like "Oh, I want every day to be like the kidney surgery day!"

So anyway, the old guy goes straight for my clothing rack and starts going through my jackets and stuff. He does this for a few minutes til he comes around to my old florida gators jacket that I'm selling forlike 5 bucks. So he takes it off the rack, tries is on, which at this point I want him to buy now that he's worn it. He then turns to his wife in the car and says "Well, what do you think?"

She takes a sip of her soda and says "I wouldn't pay more then 4 dollars for that."

Is 5 dollars really to much to ask? I just wanted to tie them up and make them watch me burn it. But I then realized once you've taken hostages and started a fire, you've made a serious marketing error. Plus any kind of voo doo ritual completely throws off your walk way traffic, so I didn't end up doing anything and I let him have it for the 4.

I only made like 40 bucks, didn't sell half my stuff, so sumed up it was a pretty crappy day.

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