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Wednesday, September 12, 2007

A lot of money is tainted: it taint yours, it taint mine.
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Annoying practices that are sure to get you banned from your local K-Mart and Wal*Mart stores!

* "Re-alphabetize" the CD's in Electronics.
* As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, "Wow. Magic!"
* Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
* Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.
* Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.
* Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.
* Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray airfresheners.
* Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission: Impossible."
* Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax.
* Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying, "...I'm Batman. Come, Robin--to the Batcave!"
* Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away.Continue to do this until they leave the department.
* Hold indoor shopping cart races.
* If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't getout much,and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.
* Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet food aisle, etc.
* Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.
* Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock, i.e., "Do you have any Shnerples here?"
* Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.
* Nonchalantly "test" the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.
* Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time.
* Play "Hide And Go Seek" and hide in the middle of the round racks.
* Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field.
* Play with the automatic doors.
* Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello" upsidedown.
* Put M&M's on layaway.
* Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.
* Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.
* Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.
* Repeat Number 14 in the jewelry department.
* Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you're taking it for a "test drive."
* Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.
* Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies?"
* Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.
* Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.
* Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.
* Start playing Calvinball; see how many people you can get to join in.
* TP as much of the store as possible.
* Take bets on the battle described above.
* Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.
* Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefieldwith G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.
* Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" from the other aisles.
* Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and turn the volumes to "10".
* Two words: "Marco Polo."
* Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a Code 3 in Housewares," and see what happens.
* Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen you in so long!..." etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment.
* When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "No, no! It's those voices again!"
* When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?"
* When someone steps away from their cart to look at something, quickly make off with it without saying a word.
* When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOWLY, especially thin narrow aisles.
* When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between them,yelling, "Red Rover!"
* While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, "Who BUYS this junk, anyway?"

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It's been about a month since I last posted. Sorry, I haven't been near a computer for a while lately. I've been going to GED classes for a few weeks. I was supposed to go today but appearently there was no class today... and I live 30 minutes away and have no transportation to get back. It sucks when you go somewhere only to find out there was nothing for you.
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Monday, August 13, 2007

   How 'bout that
I noticed the doodles I wasn't trying to do turned out a lot better than the doodles I tried to do. I hope that makes sense to you, because it makes little sense to me. ^+^
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Spitfire has not been coming to me. Sucks, yes. I can't think of anything for that book. I haven't even been able to write what I already have since I left my work at my mom's house, and right now I'm at my aunt's. Hmm... I haven't heard from my mom in a while.
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Sunday, August 12, 2007

I'm trying to learn how to play the guitar. I'm having trouble with remember the notes. Heh... if only I tried to learn it when I was a kid playing the clarinet. At least then I would of remembered where the notes where on paper. Hmm... yeah.
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I suck at researching. Hmph... some writer I am. I'm trying to find where I can get my GED... gah I hate saying that. I can't seem to find what I'm looking for. But if you need some flooring done, I found this place called Ged's. LOL!! Sad... yes.
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Friday, August 10, 2007

Man, I tried to upload some music videos that I did but when I looked in the CD they were all gone... luckily they're saved on the hard drive as well. Yeah... now to go fix that.
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Thursday, August 9, 2007

   hmm... interesting... maybe?
My aunt had me off the computer for a couple of days... just because I forgot to lock her front door. Hmm... yeah... It's not something I'm used to. Yeah... just thought I would explain my absence... yeah. Something like that.
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Thursday, August 2, 2007

I'm having the time of my life working with my videos. I'm fixing up one of them that didn't look that good actually, but still yet. Hmm... yeah. I haven't been on the internet much today... and that's saying something. ^+^
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