Saturday, December 1, 2007
i still cant believe hes gone
i miss him so much
tomorrows the funeral, which i dont want to go to. i dont wanna see him cuz if i do ill just start crying again.. even though i have been for the past 3 or 4 days. i finally told Emily(my baby sister) that he died. before i told her she kept asking me "where is brubby, where did he go? why doesnt he come hug me like used to? did he go byebye?" so i had to tell her but now she keeps asking me "why did he have to die?" ugh shes just making me feel worse
if u wanna know how he died, he got shot. i dont know who did it though..i found he died when i wuz at school. he didnt deserve this shit that happened to him. i wish i wuz there instead of him so i could have died and not him. my mum keeps blaming me for his death..i dont know why but it doesnt matter. i wish i could just drop dead right now so i dont have to deal with my mums shit. my brother wuz the one i talked to cuz everyone else in this house hates me..Emily doesnt but shes just a baby...i better go before i keep blabbing on about this.