Friday, June 4, 2004

   News Hour
Hello, and welcome again, readers, friends, and anyone else who's reading this. It's FRIDAY NIGHT, BAY-BEE! Party time! Why is it, that on posts that land on Fridays and Saturdays, I always talk about partying? It's sooo cliche.

Well, as you probably read in the title, it's News Hour. The time where me, FlintMarco, myO's #1 news reporter, bring YOU, the reader, all the news that fits. And tonight is no exception. See, I've opted for the roundtable discussion, the topic of which will be about the movie "Shrek 2". Joining me tonight are various forms of me from years ago.

FLINT: Good evening, gentlemen. It's good to see you.

TEEN FLINT: Don't thank me, pigman. I may be present physically, but my soul yearns for release from this wasteland barren of thought and emotion.

KID FLINT: hey ya its goood 2 b her

BABY FLINT: ...gah?

FLINT: Well, let's talk. We all saw "Shrek 2". What were your first observations on the movie?

TEEN FLINT: "Shrek 2" is nothing more than the problems of society, made into a form of media. It was nothing more than a brainwash machine concocted by corporate leaders to force the masses into buying useless "Collector's items", made by children in some despoticaly-run country who don't even know what "Shrek" is, at high prices.

FLINT: ...man, I don't remember being anything like you, dude.

TEEN FLINT: You wouldn't. You've allowed cartoons to sap your brain into nothing.

KID FLINT: Shrekk was teh awesom!! ti wus funy LOL

FLINT: Why do you speak in internet lingo?

KID FLINT: b/c U are dum LOL!

FLINT: Why you...! Shut up, condom break! You were a mistake!

TEEN FLINT: Simpleton! That child is YOU! If you're telling him he's a "Condom Break", you're basically telling yourself that YOU were never intended to be conceived!

FLINT: You're an ass.

TEEN FLINT: ...

KID FLINT: U R teh wapanese LOLZ!

FLINT: ...what the fuck does "Wapanese" mean?

TEEN FLINT: It means your a white man who thinks he's Japanese.

FLINT: ...That's so freakin' gay. I stand by what I said before: You were a MISTAKE!

KID FLINT: U are teh losr u suk teh cock SUPER LOLZ!

BABY FLINT: ...*sniff*...

FLINT: EVERYONE, SHUT UP!

BABY FLINT: ...waaaAAAAAAHH!! WAAAAAAH!

FLINT: You idiots! You made me cry!

TEEN FLINT: It's true what they say. Boys... do cry.. *sniff*

KID FLINT: OMG u are cryin? Wat a fag LOLZ!

FLINT: *punches kid flint* Stupid brat! That's what you get!

Yep, that's the roundtable. I gotta remember never to invite myself to another one of these.

That's all. See ya later.

-Flint
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