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Saturday, September 24, 2005

   What a Bust.
Seriously. Last time I watch the Weather Channel.

Hiya, dudes. Flint's the name, partyin's the game. It's now Saturday.

Yeah, so, if you live anywhere in the vicinity of Texas or Louisiana, you've heard of this damned storm. The great and powerful "Rita".

I fucking hate Hurricanes.

I'm totally serious. Way to screw up my weekend, weather gods. Wanna hear about it? Too bad, 'cause I'm telling you anyway.

It all started on Wednsday. My sister calls me, and sounds totally freaked. She asked me if I heard of the big hurricane. Now, I usually have the Television on Cartoon Network, so I hadn't heard anything about it. She tells me "It's the biggest hurricane ever" and "You'll die automatically if you look at it" and all kinds of hyperbole.

So, naturally, I freak as well.

I pack all my worldly possesions in suitcases, tupperware, and trashbags. And, when I say "all my worldly possesions" I mean ALL of it. Both me and my brother cram everything we own into my mom's SUV. It's packed with things I haven't even sorted out yet.

The next step is to drive far into the heart of Texas, to a city called "Pecos". I have no idea where you live, reader, but believe me, it's nowhere NEAR as big as Texas. It take two days to drive to El Passo from where I live, and that's not even leaving the State, for God's sake! So traveling into the Heart of Texas is a daunting task, to say the least.

We planned to meet my sister and brother-in-law in one of those hick-towns somewhere. When we did, however, we were pleasantly surprised. Not only did they bring their two dogs, but ol' bro-in-law brought along his mom, his sister, all three of her kids, and all eight of their dogs! Whoop-dee-damn-doo!

Now, you gotta understand, I hate kids and dogs. One kid and one dog are hard for me to handle. So, imagine my delight when I found out that not only am I infested with them now, but that all ten people and ten dogs are sharing TWO HOTEL ROOMS in the far off land of Pecos! I desperately tried tying a noose out of my t-shirts, to end my suffering before it began.

Somewhere along the way, my sister, didn't feel like driving to Pecos anymore. So now, we're wandering southern Texas, looking for a hotel with vacant rooms. Of course, there where none, because everyone was EVACUATING! We spend what seems like an eternity driving around looking for a hotel until...

We arive in beautiful New Branfules! If you're ever in the Texas area, I highly urge you to visit the big NB. It's got everything you need, plus it's conviniently ajacent to San Antonio.

We were lucky enough to find an agency which rents out weekend houses. We got a house with two bedrooms and one bathroom for three nights. Not a bad deal, expecially since it was, like, right across the street from a water park, not to mention the biggest county fair in the state of Texas.

The weekend was, suprisingly, enjoyable. I did tons of reading, I checked out the malls, and saw all kinds of cool stuff.

Come Saturday morning, we flipped on the news. The Hurricane had passed through Houston. It was finally time to hit the road, for the long road back to R-town.

We finally arrive in town, and I'm expecting the entire town to be rubble. Really, with all the damn hype this storm's getting, God himself could not hope to survive it.

Yet, there's everything. Standing as usual. There's my house, my car, the goddamn trashcans, not a scratch on them.

What a freakin' bust.

Six and a half hours later, Flint stands before you, beaten, battered, cold, hungry and alone.

Thank you, Opal Spiedel Haus!

-Flint Marco

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