Sunday, August 14, 2005
My Dinner with Someguy
'Ello, dearies! It's me, Flint Marco, here to entertain the hell out of you, to the delight of the free world! It's currently Sunday right now. Waitaminute, did Flint jut do three consecutive posts in one single week? Could it be *GASP!* the awesome return of Flint to full-time post duty?! Don't hold your breath, bucko.
Hold on, strike that. Breath-Holding Contest! Me, you, RIGHT NOW! Ready?.... GO!
*Cough,cough* You miserable bastard! You weren't even holding your breath, were you! I Should kill you!
But, I won't kill you just yet, because we've got an entire postsworth of joy ahead of us, so get to reading, and prolong your life a little bit longer. Just a little.
Ah, my personal hero, SG. The man known to the MyO-niverse as Someguy truly is, in my eyes, the MyO MVP. He's the Iron man. The Classy Man-About-Town, if you will. In fact, I'd say SG is currently the MyO heavyweight Champion of the world. What is Flint's title, then? Simply the Intercontinental champion.
Yes, SG is truly my personal MyO hero, which is why I met him for a light "brunch" recently. We chatted about all sorts of things! What, you don't believe Flint? You're right in doing so. I'm a raving lunatic and a compulsive liar. But, shut up right now, 'cause here's a segment I like to call...
MY BRUNCH WITH SOMEGUY
(NOTE: The events in this story are completly fabricated. SG still owes me for using my name and image in a
Nougat and Cream story, so it's time to collect! Prepare to regret!)
(We find our hero, SG, standing in front of the counter of a local Burger King. Flint bursts through the doors.)
FLINT: SG! Dat's my boy right dere! C'mere, son, give me hugs!
SG: Gah! Flint! What are you doing here?!
FLINT: You kiddin'? I've been following you all morning! You never responded to my brunch offers!
SG: ...That's kinda because I didn't want to have brunch. You're embarassing to be seen with, man.
FLINT: ...Okay. (turns attention to cashier) Hey, barkeep! Ring up a Whopper wit' cheese and some chicken tenders!
CASHIER: That'll be $3.90, sir.
FLINT: (Patting SG on the shoulder) This guys paying, right, buddy?
SG: Me?! I told you, we aren't having brunch!
FLINT: C'mon, man! I haven't eaten solid food in four weeks! FOUR!
SG: God, FINE!
(SG pays the cashier, and sits in a corner table, flanked by Flint)
FLINT: So, man, how's everything?
FLINT: ...'cause I got some troubles of my own.
FLINT: Yeah, see, this pig pulls me over the other day-
FLINT: An' he tells me my stickers out of date, so I slam on my gas petal-
FLINT: And BOO-YAH! There are pigs all over me, like that spy-hunter game!
FLINT: ...you aren't even listening to me, are you? I could say anything right now, and all you'd say is-
FLINT: SEE?! Right there! I didn't say anything, and you said it!
SG: ...Look, Flint. Did it occur to you that... y'know, the way I wasn't listening to you, and the way I'm trying to act like I don't know you, that mabey... I kinda want to be alone?
FLINT: Social interaction is key in life, SG. And, as a friend, I refuse to deprive my pal of a helping of social pudding!
SG: "Social pudding"?
CASHIER: Order up!
(The cashier places a tray of food on the counter.)
FLINT: ...Well, aren't you gonna go get it, man?
SG: Me?! I paid for it! The least you could do is get up and grab the stupid tray!
FLINT: Fine, fine! God damn, don't bite me head off!
(Flint grabs the tray, and takes it back to SG's table.)
FLINT: Yeah, so, I need a ride to the City Hall after this.
SG: ...Why, Flint? Why do you need a ride to City Hall?
FLINT: I wanted to buy up the land that the orphanage is on, then burn it to the ground.
SG: ...Hey, Flint. How hot do you think this cheese is?
FLINT: I dunno. Pretty freakin hot. Why-
(SG Slams his burger, complete with scalding cheese, into Flint's face.)
FLINT: AAAARGH! MY BEAUTIFUL FACE!
SG: So long, ya cheese-face bastard!
(SG runs for the door, as Flint covers his burned face.)
FLINT: You'll burn for this, SG... YOU'LL BURN!
-l'et es fini-
Yep, so that's how all brunches usually end for Flint. I hope SG's a good sport about this, or I'm totally a dead man.
Well, see ya when I see ya!