Wednesday, June 18, 2008
New Changes and Such
What's up, y'all? Flint's in the house.
I just got here from another multi-month vacation, only to find these crazy new changes. I've decided to change the formats of these different sites. From this day forward, the world "Diamond Fun Universe!" will be full of the usual dumb shit jokes and such you've grown to loathe, and this site will be just normal life occurrences in the life of Flint. Slightly less fun, I know, but it's still fun! I assure you!
I learned how to wash clothes today. I felt like a caveman, staring at this washing machine, armfull of dirty clothes at my side. I put the clothes in. Nothing.
"What is this shit?" I said aloud.
I read the nearby instructions. I first needed to pull some kind of knob to fill it with water. So I pulled the knob. "Ho, what's this sorcery?!" I exclaimed. The machine filled with water! Next, soap. Only an exact amount will do! Too little, and the clothes will die a horrible death, too much and they will explode, I assume. I put a scoop of Gain in, cautiously.
All the players were there. Water. Soap. Dirty clothes. Now, I needed to turn the machine on. I read the instructions again. "Turn the knob several times clockwise, then pull". I stared at the knob for awhile. If I turned this knob, then pulled it, my clothes could potentially be destroyed. But, if I don't, I'd be doomed to spend an eternity in filth!
All eyes were on me. It was now or never.
The knob was turned.
The knob was then pulled.
A slight whir could be heard inside the steely washing servant, followed by the sloshing of water. I sat down and waited for what seemed like an eternity.
The machine stopped.
I looked up. "Had I erred", I said to myself. I approached the machine, and hesitantly opened the door. There were my clothes, soaked yet smelling of a fresh spring breeze. I'd done it! I then proceeded to dry them in the dryer, which was, admittedly, a boring affair. I won't agonize you with the details, suffice it to say, they're now dry.
See? I told you it'd still be fun here!