Thursday, September 14, 2006
Today at school was actually sorta.....different...
There's this girl on my bus who's only in 7th grade but she got big titti-----SHUT UP!!!!!*slaps self in the head* You didn't read that!!!!But when we got off the bus today...My and my friends all started doing that Chicken Noodle Soup dance...y'know!
Chicken Noodle Soup, Chicken Noodle Soup, Chicken Noodle Soup,Wit A Soda on the Side....
Which brings me to something else! Who the hell eats Chicken Noodle Soup with a Soda????....on the side...That's like putting mustard on some fried chicken....*throws up in mouth*...AHHH!!!! IT BURNS!!!!!! *drank some hot sauce earlier*
*goes to wash out mouth* .....*sighs* Now...As I was saying---
....Why? r u here? Seriously....
Melody-Mew told me to look over here!
.......You're looking for Daniel....am I correct?
Melody-Ummm...Yeah! Didn't you hear me calling his name?
A large, powerfully-built guy meets a woman at a bar. After a number of drinks, they agree to go back to his place. As they are making out in the bedroom, he stands up and starts to undress. After he takes his shirt off, he flexes his muscular arms and says, "See that, baby? That''s 1000 pounds of dynamite!" She begins to drool. The man drops his pants, strikes a bodybuilder''s pose, and says, referring to his bulging thighs, "See those, baby? That''s 1000 pounds of dynamite!" She is aching for action at this point. Finally, he drops his underpants, and after a quick glance, she grabs her purse and runs screaming to the front door. He catches her before she is able to leave and asks, "Why are you in such a hurry to go?" She replies, "With 2000 pounds of dynamite and such a short fuse, I was afraid you were about to blow!"
Love's a sensation caused by temptation, a guy sticks his location in a girl's destination, to increase the population of the next generation.
Do you understand my explanation?
Or do you need a demonstration?
Actual Instruction Labels...
* ON A KOREAN KITCHEN KNIFE:
Warning keep out of children.
* ON A HAIR DRYER:
Do not use while sleeping.
* ON A BAG OF FRITOS:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
* ON A BAR OF DIAL SOAP:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
* ON A FROZEN DINNER:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
* ON A HOTEL-PROVIDED SHOWER CAP:
Fits one head.
* ON TESCO''S TIRAMISU DESERT:
Do not turn upside down. (Printed on the bottom of the box.)
* ON MARKS & SPENCER BREAD PUDDING:
Product will be hot after heating.
* ON PACKAGING FOR A ROWENTA IRON:
Do not iron clothes on body.
* ON BOOTS CHILDRENS'' COUGH MEDICINE:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
* ON NYTOL (A SLEEP AID):
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
* ON A STRING OF CHINESE MADE CHRISTMAS LIGHTS:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
* ON A JAPANESE FOOD PROCESSOR:
Not to be used for the other use.
* ON SAINSBURY''S PEANUTS:
Warning: contains nuts.
* ON AN AMERICAN AIRLINES PACKET OF NUTS:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
* ON A SWEDISH CHAINSAW:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
That's it for today...Wel-----Wait a minute...
Um...Melody? You know you have to get out, right?
Melody-NO! I'M STAYING HERE!!!!You have cookies!
Take the cookies with you then!
Melody-NO! You have a couch!
...............Take the couch with you then!
Melody-.....NO!!!! You have video games!
DAMN!......My only weakness!!!DAMMITDAMMITDAMMITDAMMITDAMMITDAMMIT
MEW!!!!! COME GET YOUR LITTLE FRIEND!!!!!!
NO! Melody! You don't get a signature!!!!!!!
MELODY! SHUT UP!!!!