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Sunday, August 6, 2006

   According to the feedback from the other day, I decided to put even MORE JOKES!!!!!
A nerdy little accountant is sent to jail for embezzlement and they put him in a cell with a huge guy with a big bulge. The cellmate says, "I wanna have some sex. Are you gonna be the husband or the wife?"

The little guy says, "Well, if I have to be one or the other, I guess I'd rather be the husband."

The big guy says, "Okay. Now get over here and suck your wife's dick."


Q. How are tornadoes and marriage alike?
A. They both begin with a lot of blowing and sucking, and in the end you lose your house.


What do you call a 90-year-old man who can still masturbate?

Miracle Whip!


There are three men in the bathroom, two Englishmen and an Australian. All are at the urinals.

The first Englishman zips up and walks over to the sink and uses a lot of soap and water and before he leaves. He says to the others, “In Yorkshire, I learned to be clean and neat.”

The second Englishman zips up, walks over to the sink and uses much less soap and water but is still very clean. He says, “At Bredford Academy, I learned to be clean and neat but still be environmentally aware.”

The third man zips up and heads straight to the door.


Harry and his wife are having hard financial times, so they decide she'll become a hooker.

She's not quite sure what to do, so Harry says, "Stand in front of that bar and pick up a guy and tell him it'll be a hundred bucks. If you've got a question, I'll be parked around the corner."

She's not there five minutes when a guy pulls up and asks, "How much?"

She says, "A hundred dollars."

He says, "Shit. All I've got is thirty."

She says, "Hold on." She runs back to Harry and says, "What can he get for thirty dollars?"

Harry says, "A handjob."

She runs back and tells the guy all he gets for thirty dollars is a handjob.

He says, "Okay."

She gets in the car, he unzips his pants, and out pops a HUGE PENIS.

She stares at it for a minute, and then says, "I'll be right back."

She runs back around the corner and says breathlessly, "Harry, can you lend this guy seventy bucks?"


There was an old couple who hadn't celebrated Halloween in a long time, so they decided to dress up and go out. The old woman went in her bedroom, stripped naked, and tied a string between her legs with a lemon at the end of the string. When she walked out of the room her husband yelled, "You can't go out like that!"

"I can go out as whatever I want and so can you!"

The man agreed and went into his room. Soon he came out naked with a string tied to his penis and a potato at the end of the string.

The woman said, "You're going out as that?"

''Yes,'' said the old man. ''If you can go out as a sourpuss, I can go out as a dicktator."


Christmas was just around the corner, and a father was a bit upset with his son, who would always say, "motherfucking."

Especially troubling was his letter to Santa, which read: "I want a motherfucking bike and a motherfucking train set right under the motherfucking tree, motherfucker. Love, Sam."

So the father decided that instead of presents, he would leave piles of dogshit under the tree for the boy. On Christmas morning, the father got up to see his son sitting in the living room.

"What did Santa get you, son?" the father asked, a malicious grin spreading across his face.

"A motherfucking dog, I guess, but I can't motherfucking find it."

Dat's all for now...OH!!!!!

Everyone who plays Dance Dance Revolution!! Here's video footage of the Challenge steps for Fascination MaXX, The new Max song for Dance Dance Revolution:SuperNOVA!!! (notice that he fails on the second to last note...)

I'm OUT, bitches!(don't take it personally...bitches)

FierceAssassin08 \m/^_^\m/

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