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• 0002-07-02
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Female
Location
• wishing i was in japan again
Member Since
• 2003-09-24
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• school/work
Real Name
• I'll let you know if you can guess it!
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Achievements
• got accepted into the freshman seminar abroad i was hoping for!!!
Anime Fan Since
• elementary school
Favorite Anime
• anime:Fruits Basket, La Corda D'Oro. Manga:HanaKimi, Death Note
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• graduate from college
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• reading and listening to music
Talents
• learning languages....and science
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Thursday, April 6, 2006
  | hey people. i warn you about this post : there are messed up relationship problems in it. so you don't have to read it, but i would like some help with this. thnx.
well...on to the part i warned u about. i was recently up at Eula's place (as mentioned in last post), and one of her friends (a guy named Talen) told me that he really liked me. so we hung out a lot the next day. i'm still not sure how i feel about him though, and i really don't think i am ready for a relationship of that level. and plus we live about two hours away from each other. i thought i had some feelings for him, but it was just that i felt safe around him, like he was a brother instead of a boyfriend i think. so it really scared me when he started to pay that much attention to me in that manner, but i have this extremely annoying habit of going along with stuff without realizing it until it is too late. grr. so basically i just went along with it that whole time, but now i have to find some way of telling him this, but all i can do is tell him over the internet. so this kinda sucks. he really, and i mean really likes me, but i just don't have that kind of feeling towards him...at least not yet and the next time i will be able to see him in person will probably be not for another month at least. so yeah.
i also just realized how much of a habit it is for me to say "love ya too" back to someone who says that they love me. (i.e. my mom says that a lot, and i just repeat it back without really noticing)
added on to all of this, my dad's side of the family is coming on sunday, and the last time i saw them was at a wedding and my cousin was kinda freaking me out by hugging me a lot and i think looking down into my dress (halter top dress that was really low cut). so, that isn't really helping now either.
but back to the other stuff. just one more thing i have to say before i let you guys go : i also am not allowed to date until i am sixteen, which won't be until summer, and i think growing up with that always on my mind when i think about a guy has engrained (sp?) it into me not to date until i am 16, which makes this relationship even more complecated. i just wish he would get online so i can get this over with. grr. i really don't want to hurt his feelings but i feel that if i delay any longer, i will be hurting him even more by deciet and lying to him. so this is a really tough time for me. cuz he even got me a present! a tiger plush that i thought was so adorable and i hugged him to thank him because i thought that was the best thing to do, but now look how it has turned out...i just hope that this doesn't carry on with other relationships.
oh one more thing!! (sry bout the long post of nothing but crap) i have liked this guy at my school since i was in elementary school (no joke) and i still like him, just i'm not really sure how much. and so i felt really bad about Talen admitting all this stuff, and i still have my mind on a different guy.
ahhh...i'm a mess now aren't i? never had a relationship like a bf/gf relationship, and the first one i get, lasts for about a day and a half and i mess it up. lol.
well i better go now cuz i'm probably boring you guys. sry about that. just comment if you can on this, and try to help out cuz as you can tell, i need it. thanks. byes!
(i think this is the longest post i have had in a while. sry about that again) |
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