Tuesday, March 7, 2006

Thus, then, did they celebrate the funeral of Hector.
Lea- :/

You fool, Warren is DEAD!

Theme song of this post: Hands in the Sky (Big Shot) by Straylight Run.

There's something appealing about writing something macabre. Writing something with the goal of making it ghastly- something that will drip in someone's mind like a bad dream. Make it possess them, ferment in their heads- the images you weave with what poor writing skills you can muster up. Somehow, portraying the blackness in the heart's of men is appealing to me because it amuses me to see people's reactions.

Granted, the broad stroke of fiction on OtakuBoards is angsty. But, angst is not a nightmare. Angst is not horrifying. Angst is, usually, melodrama at best- it concerns them but it is really hard for yourself to care. What is truly horrifying, what reeks of nightmares and death, is how you gain amusing reactions. I don't claim to be good at it but I do claim to be amused at the reactions it garners- call it a morbid pleasure. Pessimistically I could claim that I don't ever really enjoy happy endings- they are charming to be sure but they never fully fill me up because they seem so unrealistic. I think, realistically, it can really be said there is evil in this world and it can manifest itself in forms too dire to consider- if you can portray that on paper, an evil that sends someone into a tizzy imagining it, kudos to you.

Though, I don't think people really understand that what they are afraid of typically [heights, spiders, clowns] are only the very tip of what horror is. I would imagine horror to be something deeper- losing your soulmate to death, watching someone get hit by a car, walking into a room and seeing blood splatters everywhere- that is true horror, those are things that can really kill a person's heart multiple times over. It does not manifest itself in such petty fears, it manifests itself in something so overwhelming, something so shocking that when you see it your brain does not register it immediately. You do not stop remembering it, it does not every leave you and I doubt that such things ever would. True horror never dies in your memories. It really is haunting, a ghastly thing that slowly poisons you and reverberates every so often to remind you of just what has transpired.

I'm not really sure what the deal is with RPGs/Fanfiction these days. It never seems to be interesting, really. It lacks originality. It lacks the morbid realism of life. It lacks bloodshed, I guess. There is violence, but there is not enough realistic death or realistic pessimism for my tastes. I'd like to say that the filter that hangs over my eyes makes me interpret most of the world in shades of drearier colors- the regal depression of a dark purple, the drab bleakness of gray, the all-consuming might of black, etc. These stories seem to be in shades of red, orange or pink- stuff that I don't really tune into easily.

Lamentably, I don't think I can appreciate the optimism in some stories. Neither can I tolerate people trying to be funny in their stories when, unfortunately, they have no sense of humor. It's awkward to sense someone forcing jokes into their story and watching them bomb- I mean, totally bomb. I might not be the funniest person on Earth but I can certainly tell when someone else is unfunny as well. I suppose that I might be unfairly harsh since, well, I'm an asswipe. And, you know, I might just not give a fuck sometimes about people's feelings about their creative work since.. I'm an asswipe. I suppose the general consensus should be that I'm an asswipe at times. I'm actually a very charming young man, of course. Full of spunk, spirit and glee. Hah. Fuck that.

I'm not sure what to take away from the Oscars. Usually when I discuss my reaction to them it involves the word proletariat so you can tell what direction those tangents go in. There's something wrong with watching a bunch of people celebrate their talents so lavishly while that money could go to so many more important things- education, healthcare, orphans, widows, veterans, seniors, reducing the strain on College Student's wallets, etc.. I suppose that it's necessary as something has to entertain people but I just have a negative reaction to all the glitz and glamour. I'm glad that guy from Capote won an Oscar- that movie was awesome.

Tryin' to catch me ridin dirty.

Later.

P.S. Those Volkswagen commercials are awesome. Yo Mike, if you want us to unpimp this thing let me hear you say.. vat?

P.P.S. Grandia III is disappointing. Don't shell out the cash for it. It will leave you barren and hollow, a wasteland of despair. Hahaha.

P.P.P.S. Oh, snap. It's almost spring break. TIME FOR A PARTY.
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