Sunday, October 9, 2005

Multiple spouse wounds.
Comments on commentary-

Faruman- I've had far worse songs stuck in my head. I'll settle for United States of Whatever as well.

Yeah, you need to be pimping when you go into the SAT. Be all.. "Mmhm, look at this".

Or not.

Lit- Preparation = theoretically good?

Lea- Dude. You have neither luck or skillz.

Get it right.

Roxie- Thanks. That trenchcoat/fedora is my main winter gear now, lol [You can eviscerate a test with ease. Watch.. *graphic stuff occurs*]

Dog testicles and President Bush. What a normal day it is.

Rosencrantz & Guildenstern Are Dead.

Theme song of this post: Anniversary of an Uninteresting Event by Deftones.

I arrived at O'Connor high school about twenty five minutes early and inquired with a rather pretty young woman where building "H" was. She gave me this strange series of directions that made no sense but I pretended to understand anyway- and went off in the vague direction she pointed. Thankfully I found other students marching into the SAT test there and I followed them. A short walk through a courtyard later I arrived at Building H. There were about 20 or so teenagers inside- I hadn't been surrounded by this many teenagers in awhile and, rest assured, I wasn't enjoying myself. Of course the archetypal thing happened- all the teenagers formed into these little cliques and I was sort of attempting to be anonymous as I leaned against the wall. A steady flow of teenagers kept coming- in the end I figured there must have been at least one hundred of them if not more. What a weird bunch of people, I'll tell you. The guy that sticks in my mind the most was this wiry, pale white guy with long blond hair who was dressed in a black trenchcoat with a black cowboy hat. I was like.. I dunno, it just looked so out of place. I forgot my SAT-Combat outfit in my sleep-deprived haze [sorry Shinfaru =P] so I was just kind of normal looking I guess. Other weird looking people: An Asian guy in an all black outfit save for a Teen Titans shirt and a Gothic girl. Amongst my peers I felt a considerable amount of apathy but, you know, that's nothing new.

A lone, short black man yelled to the mass "Since Ms. Devask isn't here, we will have to form one line instead of two. Please, form one line!" Apparently that was a bit much for the mob. In lieu of a line it was more of a.. snake. Or something like a snake- just an extended line of jumbled cliques and talking teens. I sort of cut into the line while everyone was talking so I was relatively close to the front [2 points for me]. I was assigned to a room and went there. A rather plain looking teacher greeted me and assigned me to desk 22.. which was thankfully more to the rear of the room. Unfortunately, I got stuck with a rather irritating neighbor. I don't know how to describe him- a prep, I guess. Mainstream clothes, mainstream haircut- as he talked he gave me several hints into why he was irritating. First he was a self-described sufferer of ADHD which I am happy to say is probably true. Secondly he said that he had had six cups of coffee that morning which.. I can equally say is probably true. So this hyper, jumpy, slightly effeminate person is sitting right next to ME- sort of a taciturn, quiet person who would prefer to be elsewhere.

To make this entire thing more hellish I have to tell you all that I didn't sleep at all prior to the test. Not a wink of sleep, literally. When I don't sleep my thoughts become this jumbled mix of strange LSD-influenced statements that sort of lorded over me the whole night. Mixtures of philosophy, normal life, erratic bits of knowledge and otherwise just sort of mix into these strange statements that make no sense but reiterate themselves as I toss and turn, trying to sort it out. Add to this my own little mini-nervous breakdown at 2:21 AM that my mom helped me through and I did not have the most restful of nights. So I'm charging into what would turn out to be a six hour long escapade with no sleep behind it.

So I'm sitting next to the little hyper twit, a little hyper female twit, another hyper male twit and a equally-taciturn guy. What a cast. All the twits were louder than those birds in pet stores- squawk, squawk, squawk, squawk, squawk. I swear I was about to slam my head into the desk to distract myself from the pain. I'm making it significantly more negative than it was because it was still very annoying. The only talking I did, literally, was the following:

Guy with sideburns: Hey.. uh, they are going to pass out calculators right?

Female twit in front of Ken: I dunno. *shrug*

Ken: *resting his head on the desk* I doubt it.

Guy: *looks at Ken* You doubt it?

Ken: Yes. I do.

Guy: *strange look* Okay.

K: Nice to meet you.

Guy: *shrug* Nice to meet you. I'm Nick.

K: Ken.

Guy: Ken?

Ken: Yes.

Guy: Good to meet you Ken.

Ken: Most of you are from O'Connor, right?

Female twit in front of him: Yeah. Where do you go to school?

Ken: I was homeschooled. It wasn't that great.

Equally-taciturn guy: *laughs a bit*

And that was like, it. Of course everyone else was a cacophony of.. sounds, basically. High school football is really disinteresting to me for a multitude of reasons but, you know, that was the topic of the moment. Anyway, this entire socialization-esque thing happened for an hour or so since we were waiting for people to slowly be assigned to our classroom- the long, snaking line of teens was hard to organize, apparently. Finally the test started. The female teacher read directly from some kind of a handbook so I felt like I was in Ferris Bueller's Day Off. Her voice was similar to the droning "Bueller..? Bueller..? Bueller..? Bueller..?" as she read directly from the handbook with no feeling whatsoever. She decafails for being the most boring person of the entire episode.

We started off with the essay. The topic I can't disclose here since I'm apparently barred from talking about it until I get my scores which is one of the more strange rules I've heard of in recent weeks. Rest assured, the topic wasn't profound or interesting. It was just a topic. A quote from Colin Powell was involved so from there you might surmise the type of shit we were dealing with [or not]. I ran out of time to write my essay, really- I just treated it like one of my long, philosophical blog posts. I ran out of time on the last line which I found kind of funny for some reason. The rest of the test was pretty fun, actually. I sort of hit or missed the math questions and breezed through the writing/reading questions [who the hell could miss some of those?] then it was over. However, the entire thing was physically and mentally draining from my sleepless state. I had arrived there at about 7:25 AM. I left at 1:35 PM [five minutes after the test was over]. I was feeling really goddamn shitty because of how tired I was but I decided to get some nourishment. Hop over to Wendy's, got a number four, sat down and just tried to zone into eating. I was like murmuring to myself, seriously- delusional sleeplessness for the win. Finally, I came home and my parents greeted me, etc. I immediately went to bed and didn't wake up until 12:30 AM. I had some really fucked up dreams, I'll tell you that much.

I'm not really optimistic or pessimistic about my results. What happens, happens. I have, however, reaffirmed my negative impression of teenagers.

So, thank god for that, huh?

Now there's no light.

Ja ne.

P.S. That desk was murder on my back/neck/ass [!]. That was the most uncomfortable piece of shit I've had the pleasure of sitting in for five or six hours. Jesus.

P.P.S. Since I mentioned it, how about some Ferris Bueller random trivia! Charlie Sheen played the drug addict at the police station to which Jeannie is taken. He stayed awake for more than 48 hours before the scene was shot to produce a nice drugged-out effect.

P.P.P.S. MORE REST FOR ME. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
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