Monday, March 21, 2005

She whispers to me.
Comments on commentary-

sango771- Glad you liked it.

Rai- I'll try that method out when I have someone to swap saliva with, lol.

I'm not really a republican or a democrat but I rarely agree with republicans. Looked like a rifle to me.

Shinfaru- Baked potatoes are crack to me. I <3 them to death. Put everything on 'em, mix it all together. Mm-mm good.

Yeah. I think they are deciding that the best way to get more hits is to be more annoying so we click just to get it to shut up.

DDG- First time I heard it a great void opened up in my heart and I've never really recovered. Flowers are less colorful, food tastes bland, music sounds terrible. Life isn't worth living now. *lynches himself*

lol. I enjoy their creativity but not their insistence on getting you to notice their creativity. It's hard to miss a flashing, moving banner anyway- the sound effects make me want to not click it more than click it.

Erin- It would be funny if you transformed into something like the Incredible Hulk. Like at Anime Expo I'd get you to smash all the displays I found to be shitty. Ahh, those would be good times.

Yeah, when I heard it.. yeah. Dark clouds rolled overhead and thunder clapped through the sky. As the rain began to fall I quietly fell to my knees and stared up at the thunderstorm, my face getting drenched. In this moment of defeat, this vivid moment of defeat I yelled out "WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?!" and pounded my fist into the ground as dramatic music played. You should have been there it was quite a moment.

Haha. Much love, Erin. Keep it cool.

Laura- It was hilarious at the time, too. Just, laughing at people when they are right next to you is rude or something. I think I read that in a book somewhere.

Roxie- Oh yeah, it was St. Patrick's day. Uh, I'm not Irish? What do non-Irish people do on St. Patrick's? Nap alot or something?

My last blog post, what was my last blog post? Oh yeah something about bleeding and fainting and then quizzes. Good mix.

Darth Tater should be our new security guard. That would stop those dirty criminals in their tracks.

I'm not much of a save the rainforest dude. I'll leave that to you, I think you can handle it. *hands you the Holy Bazooka of Ethereal Justice; Pain and Glimmering Lights*

Yeah, when I saw that fly ad.. I stood up slowly, staring in shock at the nearest person. "What is it, Dr. Howell?" they asked. I slowly removed my glasses and shook my head, "The fools. The crazy fools." I said, "They finally did it. They finally created a monster. A real monster." They looked at me with this puzzled face and I slowly turned my monitor towards them. They screamed in horror at the sight before them. I nodded and picked up the phone, calling the Pentagon. I waited a few anxious moments, beads of sweat forming on my forehead. Finally, he picked up- "General Worcestershire? We have a problem."

I'm glad I affected you for the better. I hope I continue to do so. ^_^

Lea- Yeah, that would suck. I guess winging it is an artform though.

What n00bs they were.

Trouble.

I ate lunch at a mexican restaurant today, a favorite of mine that I might have mentioned before. It's called Fara's Hacienda and if you don't know what that means, that is quite alright- it's something about a home or something I think. They have some of the best mexican food I've tasted [even in this Tex-Mex filled state I live in] so I frequent it alot. It was uneventful. But I was pretty much brooding the entire meal- I had alot of questions running through my mind.

I'm gonna go emo for a moment, lol. I think I can go emo in my own diary but if you don't like emotional or personal tangents then just skip this paragraph right here and move on.

The first question I had running through my mind was triggered by something I saw on television that struck a chord with me. It was this episode of Law and Order: SVU that was about this cycle of abuse that kept cropping up- in the end, there was this guy who had been abused and he talked about how he worried that there was some sort of monstrous side to him that was just waiting to be unlocked. I never really considered that- I mean, you hear about it all the time. People physically or emotionally abused have a higher chance of being abusive themselves. It's not that I'm going to spend the rest of my life worrying, it's just that, you know- I have that dream of having a daughter. I know that I would love and care for that daughter, but would I ever lose it? Stressful job or stressful life, I come home and there is just that one little annoyance, that one extra thing that happens that pushes me over the edge. And then what? I guess I can't go around worrying that I'll just explode at some point and time.It's like you'd hope that maybe someday no one will have to think this. Not just me, but other people you know that haven't had the most placid or serene of childhoods- your friends maybe others in your family. Just people close to you that you love, you don't want them to sit down and think to themselves "What if I...?" But yeah, my good friend speeched me about it and talked about having to focus myself on healing rather than worrisome scenarios. So, support your friends if they have had trouble in the past. They might need you more than you know, yeah? Reach out to those that you love, you never know when they will need to grasp your hand to steady themselves.

Then, in the midst of my brooding, this energetic young woman sits down nearby with her family. I'm not particularly interested but she speaks in a very loud, clear voice so I'm inadvertently eavesdropping on conversations that I A.) Don't really care about and B.) Could do without hearing. It's not like I'm going to go over there and go "Could you please be quiet? I'm in the middle of a particularly important cycle of brooding and introspection and your shrill, shrieking voice is piercing what little serenity exists in this environment." So I just had to grin and bear it. But she like orders her food, right? She talks about getting the cheese enchiladas but she doesn't want the chili con carne and I come to the slow and horrifying realization that she is a snotty, stupid... VEGETARIAN!



I mean jesus, really! I wouldn't mind but the way she talks to the waiter it's like "But I don't want BEEF on it" and I was like "I'm seriously going to kill something here" and she was like "I don't know WHO could eat MEAT" and I was like "Please Jesus, stop torturing this, your servant" and she was like "I think that being a vegetarian is the BEST" and I was like "*gnawing on arm*". The atmosphere was just like a diamond saw plowing into your forehead over and over again. You are busy brooding, introspecting doing important things and there is this loud, bratty person just a short distance away from you who is one of the most redundant and inane type of person of this generation- vegetarians. There is crappy tejano music plowing into your brain like bad communist propaganda just on and on and on. She is speaking arrogantly to the waiter, you're slowly losing your mind, your parents are scarfing down food. I was in a nightmare of epic proportions, something straight out of a made-for-tv-movie that had bad special effects and a shitty plot. Oh-em-gee. Everything was just giving off this annoying vibe because I was in such a particularly grouchy and introspective mood. Thankfully, prior to me losing all of my bananas and plowing through the gathered patrons like a dysfunctional lawn-mower from the seventh ring of hell, we were ready to go.

I honestly don't have a problem with vegetarians as a whole. Seriously, if you are one it's ok. Stop filing for a restraining order on me I'm not going to come pummel you with a metal baseball bat or anything. It's just that she was so arrogant about it, like everyone in the immediate area should recognize her as the Messiah for vegetarians and immediately convert. So if the people with the wrong character are vegetarians then my toleration starts to slowly dissipate into a deep animosity that will never fade from my spirit. I'm not a vegetarian myself and neither will I be one- I used to argue with them but I came to the sudden realization recently that arguing with them is wasting precious moments of my life that could be better used doing something constructive- like writing about it in this diary! The system works! =D

After that, I went to the grocery store. Normally I wouldn't waste your time and mine telling you about it but it was really surreal. It was literally full of attractive young teenage women in every direction. I tried to be a gentleman and not look at any of them in a particularly pigheaded way, but *everywhere I looked* there was another attractive young woman. I'm not really sure why it happened [maybe some planets were aligned correctly or something] but it was quite strange and amusing at the same time. I think this must have happened to other guys aside from me [or maybe some ladies ran into this strange event but with a ton of young guys]. Or, maybe I'm just slightly crazy and it's quite normal. But I swear the density of attractive people in that grocery store was very unnaturally high. I'm not crazy, not yet!

So we arrive at this point in time and space. Here I am, reading this. Ignoring all the important intellectual, smart shit I think I'd name my little town Kenville. My title would be "His Imperial Majesty" because I would go annex other shittily named towns [like 'New Shinfaru', 'Sennen's Manor' and 'Erintown'] adding them to form a collective nation of equally disgruntled people who like to go "hmph" or "harumph". Our national religion would be basketball and the best point guard in the league would be the current prophet. God would be Michael Jordan [duh] and his Nike line of b-ball shoes would be the Holy Spirit. I'm not really sure who Jesus would be. I think we'll just not have a Jesus [because then we'd have to kill him dramatically and predict his comeback to lead basketball into a "new world"- way too messy and complex]. I'd be dictator-for-life until a coup-de-tat attempt lead by Shinmaru [who would thereafter be referred to as "the King of Noobs and other scruffy people"] fails. I would imprison all the coup attempters [which includes Shin, Sennen, DDG, Lea, James and Ralph Nader] in a poorly built Pizza Hut, but start to think about my policies and their effects on my people. Thinking that it's time for a change, I leave the Empire in the hands of my daughter, Laura, and her Prime Minister, Erin. Thereafter, I would travel the countryside helping all who needed it and become a hero of the people instead of an oppressor of the people.

What a happy story. *sniff* =)

Gravedancer.

Welp, that ends this little number.

Hasta luego.

P.S. If I hear any more idiotic shit about the Terri Schiavo case I'm going to really have to rant in this diary. If I was in that condition, I would want a mercy killing. This country is so afraid of death it's pitiful. Even people who have signed themselves up to face death ["Do you think I might die in the military?" "Dude, no way. What are you smoking?"], when they die everyone is shocked. It's just pitiful the state of our nation and how scared we are of the finality and reality of death. The concept of a mercy killing needs to be reintroduced because I would not want to exist beyond a half a year in a vegetative state, even if there was a minute chance of recovery. Kill me, let me go on to my next glorious life. Celebrate who I was and don't cling to the hope that I will return to that. Let this be a written record that I, Kenneth A. Howell, express my desire to be put to death if I am ever in such a state.

P.P.S. Ho ho ho. Funneh. :)

P.P.P.S. Those fajitas were good though. *rubs chin*

P.P.P.P.S. I win.

P.P.P.P.P.S. I love that "STFU" picture. It's just hilarious to me for some reason. Ahh, man. Life is good when you've had too much 100% fruit juice.
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