Wednesday, November 24, 2004

Vertigo- you too?
Comments on Commentary-

Eye de Eff- "Thus always to tyrants." Brutus said it after Julius Caesar's assassination. I'm not really sure what happened to Thanksgiving.. but.. you should be generous on everyday! Yes, that's it. Definitely no error on my part. *shuffles this under the Rug of No Errors Here*

Anti- Why, mon capitan! What a glorious day it is. Yes, the undertones of my response were very blatant. I'm sure that someone, somewhere got them- didn't I explain them to you? I would consider that cheating, tsk. I'm going to have to ask you to retake the undertones test. They had a plausible reason to feel that I was specifically targeting the members of that chat, so there was no need to attempt any rudeness. Thank you, though. I appreciate your defense- as it was the only one I got, lol.

Lea- Ah, Anti is just special. Maybe even a nobleman- like an emperor or something.

*Comments from the Nov. 19 post.*

Erin- It's fine. I wasn't referring to you directly, but I never clarified that. No problems. ^_^

Shinfaru- Great! I am not alone on this planet. We shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender!

"Hope is definitely not the same thing as optimism. It is not the conviction that something will turn out well, but the certainty that something makes sense, regardless of how it turns out."

So, let's do a mandatory update on the life of Ken. I have a fucking giant ass headache because I slept ten hours- from around 8:30 in the morning till 5:30. But, thankfully, it's going away. My grandmom is freaking out as of late because my granddad is saying he is going to stop taking his medicine after his last visit to his psychiatrist. Brief history of Ken: As soon as I was adopted by my grandparents, I was dismayed to learn my grandfather is pretty psycho too. Not as physical, but still crazy. My grandmother had serious health problems until I was about 14 or so- she had migraine headaches every few days that lasted for an unknownable amount of days. She had other problems too- like, something was wrong with her neck that put her into the ER, she had to get her gall bladder removed- I have spent whole days of my life sitting in the ER room, usually at 1-2 in the morning. All of that set her in a pissy mood, so basically my grandparents argued every 2-3 days for the span of 5-6 years. They would lock each other in their respective rooms [they weren't sleeping in the same room until 2 years ago] for days at a time. My dad wasn't that crazy at me- but, being the only child, I became some sort of a trump card. lol. Whoever's side I was on was more "right" than the other side's. I could tell you a plethora of tales, ranging from the time my grandmom pulled a butcher knife on my granddad to the time I got in a fistfight with my grandpa when I was 11-12. It all finally came to a head in January of 2002, when my grandmom filed a restraining order on my grandfather and started to get a divorce. For about 3 weeks we traveled around, living at hotels- I was sincerely hoping she would go through with this, but of course it didn't work out. She was enticed by the money my grandfather had and didn't want to live poorly. So she influenced his psychiatrist to put him on these drugs that "even him out". He doesn't really smile or laugh anymore, or do much of anything- he's admitted to me many times he is really depressed. I would be glad to see him off the medication- I keep insisting to my grandmom that if he does anything I can easily beat the shit of out of a 63 year old, lol. It's sad that such great people with good personalities can have these quirks that eventually decimate their good personality. What do I think about it? I'm not really sure if I can care too much either way. All of those arguments labeled me as a tool instead of a person. If I wasn't being used as a tool, I was left alone for long expanses of time due to their childish tantrums over small things. My mother is as much to blame- she was damaging on an emotional level just as much as he was. Either way, I have to protect them from someone- each other. Both of them have powertrips when their authority is usurped and, unfortunately, neither of them have the concept of sharing "power". At the moment my dad's authority has been neutralized thanks to my mom's pushing for him to be on meds, but soon they will both be at it. They literally are like children, lol. I know I cannot judge them, but I know how their God will. If either of them get the "good" afterlife their religion portrays I'm going to delve into goddamn heresy as far as I can go because neither of them deserve such an ending. So, that's the whole deal with that. I'm not bitter anymore about it. I still envy people depending on how "normal" their life has been and is, but really- I am who I am today due in part to the environment I was raised. So, no matter how surreal, I have to remember something.

"By three methods we may learn wisdom: first, by reflection which is noblest; second, by imitation, which is the easiest; and third, by experience, which is the bitterest." - Confucius.

It's unfortunate that people value pseudo-authority so much. Once you have authority, you realize how demanding it is- to be a leader of any amount of people takes alot out of you. What they desire is something you cannot attain, it is something handed to you. Why, praytell, do I not seek authority? I'm not a part of this family. I'm here because it was better than ending up in some orphanage. I'm here for the shelter, the food, the protection from the elements. I'm here because it is the lesser of two evils. Some of you know what I mean. In conclusion, no matter what happens, I still have to defend someone- so, I don't care. My mom does, and that's fine. My dad does, and that's fine. But I don't.

And that's fine.

Hello, hello. Hola!

I'm going to get a job in like a month. I'm ectatic, clearly. *forced smile* YES. I AM PLEASED. I LIKE TO WORK. WORKING IS GOOD FOR BRAIN. KEN LIKE TO DEAL WITH STUPID PEOPLE. But, in the end, I need money for two trips I'm planning for next year.. so. I'm forced to get a job. I'm not really sure where I want a job. What area of teenage jobdom has the least idiots, losers and hicks? I have no answer to that- maybe no one does. I do know that I'm going to be the best goddamn worker they have because, hey- money. I'll prolly end up working at a grocery store- where, my sanity bleeding from my body in short spurts, I will eventually lose all manner of coherence and leave the world muttering about magical fairies who enjoy peppermint candies. But, hey- money. And I'm like.. so hardcore anti capitalism. Every time I enter a store I say to my grandmom, "Ahh! I love the smell of capitalism." AHHHHH MOTHERLAND! *destroys capitalist stores* But, hey- money. Gotta work for those dollars so I can drive to California and see their Austrian governor. California, California- here we comeeeeeee.

Fairy: I love peppermint candy. ^. ^
Ken: AHHHHhhHhh o.O!

Say hello to Baphomet.

So, there are problems in the Ukraine again- little surprise, really. I've been pretty hard on Ukraine since.. I was.. born. Nothing personal to them as a people, but after being apart of Russia for several centuries you should give up your idiotic nationalism like intelligent people would. If you ever wondered how Russia survived the invasion by the behemoth army of Nazi Germany, there are many factors. One of them is the fact that they had over one million partisan warriors behind the German lines- all of them were being controlled by Stalin himself. They actually put commisars into each of the partisan units, supplied them with good arms and gave them orders- so over one million partisans had coherent officers and chain of command. They wrecked alot of havoc- one million people can do that- and severely damaged the German War Machine. How does this tie in with the Ukraine? Well, hell. The Ukrainians have had national pride for eons. Why would they suddenly fold to a new group of rulers? So, pro-Kremlin guy wins an election many deem rigged. No *shit*. Russia is still trying to be as pariah as possible towards the west- they have good reason, I suppose. Especially with this nutcase fucking with things in the White House. So, we'll have to see what happens- but, the idiocy of nationalism is easily turned into opium for the masses. If they have the propaganda, fools will follow in the name of their sovereignty just because, hey- having your own nation is the cool thing to do these days. No matter how small or insignificant you are like, say Chechnya! Or, maybe, the Kurds! Sure, get your own country. Unifying is not the preferable option! Go for your sovereignty, doesn't matter that you will be a little shit backwater country that no one gives a fuck about until you harbor terrorists.

Come on, people! Divide, divide, divide! That's our greatest option. Mankind will only succeed if we are against each other!

Gonna end up a big ol' pile a them bones.

San Antonio gets 35 or so inches of rain a year. You're saying, that's pretty good- not too much, not too little. We get about 20 inches of rain in fall alone. Maybe you've heard about the rain that has drenched Texas- that happens every year. All the national weather channels are portraying this as being really abnormal or dramatically special- it isn't. Every year from Sept-Nov we get rain on the scale of Noah's Flood. Like 5-6 inches in two days, then it's dry for a week, repeat. A woman died here actually, lol- it's funny because I have driven on the road she tried to cross on foot. It's this road that is in the middle of a dry Mississippi river- I wish I was joking. There is a sign there that actually says "Don't risk drowning. Turn around." When it rains, that place turns into rapids- all of the trees are bent in one direction for a reason. And, of course, the dramatic air hits home here because, well, we live next to a dry creek that turns into a similar river. Someday, somewhere, I bet this house will be flooded- but not today. So, no matter what you hear, this is normal. We are relatively dry 9 months of the year- thunderstorm here, rain here, hurricane there. Once fall comes around, most of that 35 inches of rain comes.

Lying sonsabitches.

Vengeance now! We'll leave a path of human flesh as a sign.. for a better day.

That's about all I have to say for now. I'll talk to you all later.

Adios dudes, dudettes, heads of state and otherwise.

P.S. Go Spurs!

P.P.S. Uh oh!

P.P.P.S. Fairy: Mmm. Peppermint candies! ^ .^
O_O
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