Friday, November 19, 2004

Freelancer.
This calls for an emergency comments on commentary:

Tori- *hugs her* I miss you too, my Queen! I hope all is well for you. =) IM me sometime! Our good times will never end. :P


Erin- People will do what they do and think what they think- I respect that. I politely suggest you respect me in the same way- I'm sure you have an understanding of the Golden Rule, yes? Hmm, you know.. I would hope that you are not implying that I should alienate myself from my friends just because I do not constantly enjoy the insanity that peaks in chatrooms. That could be almost unfriendly in tone, to state something like that- I wonder how I should take it, hm. Should I follow your lead and try to reply with biting sarcasm or a witty statement.. No. Surely melodrama on my part is not necessary in this! Hahaha, I respect you, Erin. No matter the time, no matter the place- I adore you, my friend. Continue to smile for me and those that cannot smile. *hugs you tightly* ^_^

James- I participated in the chat with the upmost of respect I thought- I didn't rant or rave to any of you while you were enjoying the company of friends. I *am* truly glad we congregated together, we don't do it nearly enough anymore. It even made me smile a few times- it was a breath of fresh air amongst the varying degrees of depression. I respect people's happiness, their uninterrupted glee- I just did not have it and still do not have it. There is a reason why I fall silent sometime- it is because I was taught that one of the worst weapons a man has is his voice, the words he speaks, he weaves, he writes, he thinks. No one seems preoccupied with thinking before they speak, as is exemplified by one of these comments and, to some degree, to my error in not expanding my opinion. It's an expanded idea of not saying anything when you don't have something nice to say. I have no reason, no valid authority to ever take someone's fun away. I could make some comment on the level of Erin's about how there are ways to avoid reading this, but I don't think that is the responsible path - Quod scripsi, scripsi. I apologize if you took offense to my words, but they were actually not aimed at you in the least, lol.

"She told me I was living in the past."

I do take responsibility for exposing myself to that when I was in a bad mood, but I did not want to disrespect you all. I thought it might cheer me up, get me out of my mood. I also take responsibility for not expanding on my thoughts- I have a problem with leaving things half explained, leading to misunderstandings. Rest assured I partake in flirting and sexual talk in social situations- I'm only human. But sometimes, I slide into depression or I have intellectual inspiration- then I do not feel like partaking in what I perceive as something primal or simply an irritant to my depression. I'm not conservative in any way, I merely support sex having some meaning. I do not think any of you slut around, I know you were having good fun- it was I with the problem, lol. I was not having fun, I was not in the mood for fun, I was quiet, trying to get into the flow of the chat room. I failed and felt awkward, so I would go into silence again. I did not plan to drag your fun to a halt, I was trying to go with it- trying to cheer myself up, as I said.

Let's rephrase my opinion some more. Sex has value to me. I am certain it does to you people. I have no problem with flirtation as long as I am not in a horrid mood, either. Flirt with whom you want, when you want to- I don't mind usually. I do my best to flirt with those I'm smitten with, but perfection is lost on those with mortality. I never mentioned the chat room for a reason- it was not what spawned the rant. I had something stewing in my mind for the past week and my mood only made the need to let it out grow. It's a mix of devaluing sexuality to the point of merchandising and conservative uproar over anything remotely sexual- meaningful or not. There is two things wrong in that article and that is one too many, lol.

You did not understand the full picture and implied that you had passed judgement on my post. You did not seek to understand the full picture, as you presumed you knew it. I did not flesh out into lengthy dialogue about the full picture because I presumed I did not need to explain where, pray tell, this all spurred from. Possibly you might have made an error- possibly you didn't. I know that I did and recognize it as a familiar error.

This is my where I let off my steam to avoid shooting down your plane in midflight in many situations. I don't want someone to IM me and say "What's up?" and my reply to be a 200-300 word paragraph on what I view as wrong on this Earth. I'm sure I could shove my thoughts into some obscure, more personal place but really- how is that better than a more public offering? Surely someone, somewhere can find insight in my dribble.

Ah, *hugs you all*. The intriguing characters I know and the people who view me as an intriguing character. What odd fellows we all have here, amongst each other.

It is time. I declare this emergency comments on commentary session to be over.

Sleep doth call for this son of man. It would be rude not to answer.
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