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Monday, November 17, 2003


i am in a strange mood tonight...
i was talking to my psychiatrist the other day and she showed me a quote that really inspired me.

To be nobody but myself-in a world which is doing its best night and day to make me everybody else-means to fight the hardest battle any human being can fight and never stop fighting.
e.e. cummings

i really love this quote. it's so inspiring and it says so much. hmmm, perhaps i should start paying more attention to dear polly... and on a completely different note, here is a random quote...

Nothing is more dangerous or frightening than a provoked fangirl. -katie

so true... and now, a random quiz! everything in the result... completely true. i think that i've mentioned my anger issues here before...

Earthquake
Earthquake


?? Which Natural Wonder Or Disaster Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla

Comments (8) | Permalink



Sunday, November 16, 2003


   i noticed something...
has anyone else noticed that once an anime gets popular and such it is automatically labeled "dork?" example: if you mention yu-gi-oh! or DBZ at my school you get strange looks and berating comments, whereas if you mention something less known like gravitation or naruto you just get a blank stare or an "oh." i think that part of this has to do with the fact that really popular animes like yu-gi-oh are aimed at children here, and thus are ripped apart until there is nothing left. then non-anime people go to watch the butchered shows and, well, non-anime people are non-anime and are unaware that what they are seeing is merely a dub. heck, i doubt many of 'em would even know what the word 'dub' means... so they see it thinking that this is how the episodes really are. they don't know that the shows are butchered and not meant to be seen the way they are in dubs. they don't know that there's so much more to the show then the crap that gets puts on t.v. so they walk away thinking that the shows really are simple and childish. and i have to deal with a LOT of people like this. i think i mentioned before that thier are only a handful of anime fans in my entire school, and most of them aren't even that anime-ish to begin with. for example, all of them but one say "maynga" instead of "monga" and some don't even know the difference between subs and dubs. i even have one anime-ish friend that won't watch popular animes because they're so "childish". she judges the anime before she even sees it. uugh... im probably the smartest person in my school anime-wise.

another random rant... has anyone ever noticed that when they advertise yu-gi-oh, they always, always, ALWAYS call yami yugi? jeez, if you're going to advertise something try doing a little research on it! or at least find out the characters names...

Comments (16) | Permalink



Friday, November 14, 2003


   the party... kinda
there were supposed to be five people at the party last night but it turns out that only three people were there. me and my two friends katie and stacy. katie is a hiei fangirl/freak, to put it lightly. so, of course, we decided to watch some yu yu hakusho DVD's. so katie puts in a DVD, turns the lights out, and gets as close to the t.v. as possible. well after a while she starts rocking back and forth, staring at the t.v. just staring. never blinked once. then she starts mumbling to herself. something about hiei and death and blood... well a couple minutes after that she takes out her pocket knife and starts fingering the blade. every time she cut herself she would chuckle softly and suck the wound. at one point during the episode i looked over and saw her watching the blood drip down her arm and she was whispering, "drip... drip... drip... " every time someone would get injured she would burst out laughing. well after a while i grew quite bored of her hysterical laughter and mumblings of drips, so i made a joke about hiei in the hopes that she would shut up. the joke didn't really have the desired effect... katie turns, looks at me and holds her knife in the air. only one thought went through my mind at that moment... run. and run i did. turns out that stacy had the same idea. somehow we both ended up locked outside of the house while katie stood at the door waving the key around and chanting, "kukuku!!! hiei will someday return and demolish all of you pathetic ningens!!!" then she starts dancing, if you could call it that... so stacy and me are locked outside of the house, freezing and watching a psychotic katie dance and chant. and then it started to snow... okay, so it didn't really start to snow, but it could of! i don't recall much after that. all i remember is after we finally got back into the house *not saying how...* all of my pocky was.... gone.

and so were all of katies hiei pictures the next morning...

Comments (22) | Permalink



Wednesday, November 12, 2003


   DES is falling behind again...
AAAAAACK!! i haven't updated since monday! X_X wow. sorry guys, i usually don't go so long without updating but this weeks been rather hectic... so i really haven't been able to visit everyone like i should have. i am SO SORRY. and tomorrow i have a major test in music class *major as in about half my freakin grade -__-* so i MUST study tonight! i really don't want to have to take this class over. so i won't be around that much tonight either. and guess what? tomorrow after school im going to a party! *everyone gasps* yes, i know, DES is actually going to leave her computer room. and then im spending the night so i won't really be able to get back on until friday or saturday. i am sooo sorry people! uugh, i'll try to get back as soon as i can though and catch up with everything. but until then, some quizzes for your amusement! i got these from TK ^-^

you are someone who feels as if their past is insignifigant and so that wills you to move on into the future and try to greet the world with a smile...but yet...you want to remain silen
...to walk away


Who Are You From Within? (Anime Images used)
brought to you by Quizilla

the accuracy of these quizzes frighten me...

HASH(0x8748990)
YOU ARE UBERGLOMPABLE! Congrats, for you have
reached the zenith of all glompability. You're
cuddly, loving, soft, and all those wonderful,
glompable characteristics. *glomp* ^__^


How Glompable Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

behold the results and glomp me! GLOMP ME, I SAY!!!

Comments (21) | Permalink



Monday, November 10, 2003


some amusement...
tonight im gonna go all sana chan on you and tell you some funny stuff.

A man is standing on the curb getting ready to cross the street. As soon as he steps down onto the pavement, a car comes screaming at him. The man picks up speed, but so does the car. So the man turns around and heads back, but the car changes lanes and keeps coming. Now the vehicle is so close and the pedestrian is so scared that he freezes in the middle of the intersection. The car closes in on him then swerves at the last possible moment and screeches to a halt. The driver rolls down the window. Behind the wheel is a squirrel. "See," sneers the squirrel, "It's not as easy as it looks, is it?"

"Hey buddy," said the taxicab passenger, tapping the driver on the shoulder. The driver screamed and lost control of the cab, nearly hitting a bus, jumping the curb and stopping just inches from a huge plate-glass window. For a few moments everything was silent. Then the driver said, "Man, you scared the daylights out of me!" "I'm sorry," said the passenger. "I didn't realize that a tap on the shoulder would frighten you so much." "It's not your fault," the driver replied. "Today is my first day driving a cab. I've been driving a hearse for the last 25 years."

On duty as a customer service representative for a car rental company, I took a call from a driver who needed a tow. He was stranded on a busy highway, but he didn't know the make of the car he was driving. I asked him again for a more detailed description, beyond "a nice blue four-door." After a long pause the driver replied, "My car is the one on fire."

Comments (18) | Permalink



Sunday, November 9, 2003


random rants and such...
wow. sunday already. that means that tomorrows... monday. v_v but hey, at least i didn't have to go to church today! i think my parents finally noticed that i desperatly need sleep on sunday. and let me tell ya, my bed is a whole lot more comfortable than those pews!

something i've noticed... everyone that sees shuichi for the first time thinks that he's a girl. i can honestly say that i never once thought that shuichi was a girl. i can't picture him as a girl. i can't see how other people can see him as a girl. he's just so... not girlish looking. you're probably thinking, "WTF?? do you not see his 'pink' hair?!" yes, he does have pink hair. and i guess i can see how you might mistake him for a girl because of the hair. but even with the pink, i still don't think the he really looks like a girl... my friend told me that he has a girly face. you know, with the big eyes and all. but even though that may be true, i just don't see it! eh, maybe i have special vision or something...



Comments (24) | Permalink



Saturday, November 8, 2003


continued...
wow. lots of interesting comments on that last post. okay, the "why i do it" part... most people say that people cut because they are depressed. well i don't really think that i'm depressed... or maybe i really am but im so good at being cheerful that i've even tricked myself into beleiving that im happy! hmmm.... but seriously, as far as i know im not seriously depressed. yea i have the occasional bouts of restlessness and such, but who dosen't now a days? okay, something you all should know about me. i get mad easily. VERY easily. if someone drops thier pen and asks me to pick it up, i get mad. if someone taps me on the shoulder i get mad. if someone looks over my shoulder when im reading or writing i get mad. and when DESY gets mad, she just don't get mad. DESY gets PISSED. and when im pissed i get the sudden insatiable urge to hurt people. BADLY. but i can't do that, for obvious reasons, so i hurt myself. for example: today my sister forgot to wake me up so i missed yu-gi-oh. i CAN NOT miss my yu-gi-oh. its like an unwritten law that DES must not miss her yu-gi-oh. but... i did. because of her. i ended up with fifteen new cuts on my arm and multiple bruises on my legs. stupid monkey-sister.... so yes, thats the main reason why. there are other reasons but im not going to get into those now. bah, enough of this! time for some happy! click on little ryuichi for much amusement ^-^





na no da!

Comments (19) | Permalink



Thursday, November 6, 2003


some more of that "personal" stuff...
eh, im more bored than usual, so to keep myself from doin any of the numerous stupid and dangerous things i usually do when i am bored, i am going to make a post instead. another one of those "personal" ones. yep. i guess you could call this a part three to "some quality time with DES" if you wanted... as of now, however, my "quality time with DES"'s don't have a real ending yet... simply this. part three. they don't have an ending yet because my "problem" hasn't ended. i know some of you were kinda hoping that it had... ah well. on to the post!

counseling. i've noticed that i say that i hate counseling a lot. i often tell my friends that i hate my counselor even more than the counseling itself. sometimes its true, sometimes i do hate her. i hate her because she lies to me. she says that she "understands my pain" and "knows what i'm going through". but when i asked her if she had ever wanted to kill herself she said "no, no i haven't." then i asked if she had ever cut herself and she said "no." then i asked her a third question. i asked her if she had ever been verbally assaulted because of her beliefs. she calmly answered "no". no. no no no. now tell me, how can she "understand my pain" if she has never felt my pain? how is she supposed to "know what i am going through" if shes never been through it herself?

one of the most stressful things that i have to deal with is knowing that there is no way in hell that im ever going to be able to truly be myself, come out and say who i really am, without the fear of being mocked and ridiculed. theres always going to be someone waiting there to shoot you down. heh. thats partly why i love you guys so much. i can come to you with anything and i know you won't try to shoot me *i hope o_O*. i love you all, i truly do. errk, i've caught the anzu bug from toasty! *glares at toasty* so yes, seeing as how i can tell you all anything, i'd like to tell you more about my "problem". but certainly not in this post. its faaaaar too long already! perhaps in my next one. if none of you mind listening to more of my pointless rambling, that is... it would probably help me some...

Comments (22) | Permalink

sleep, wordy-ness and boredom...
aaah, the sleeping went well! so well in fact that i didn't fall asleep in class. so i had nothing to do. thus, these words came as a result of the boredom.

running
wasting
falling
fading
cutting
bleeding
filled with needing

dying
crying
hurting
choosing
unrelenting
always losing

never ending
stop pretending
stop defending
stop depending
on you

aaah yes, words. maybe if enough people are interested i'll tell you all about the meaning behind these words... mweeheeheee...

Comments (9) | Permalink



Wednesday, November 5, 2003


   must... sleeeeeeeep....
it turns out that i can not stay up until 3 a.m. for weeks on end and still expect to be able to get up for school at seven every morning, so today i am staying home due to the fact that when i tried to get up this morning i somewhat collapsed... but i am fine now! now all i need to do is get some more sleep tonight, so if i don't come by your site later tonight then that is why. now on to the randomness!

random facts: did you know that about 70% of fangirls approve of and enjoy shounen-ai and yaoi? shuichi's shoe size is 7 in mens. none of you prolly care about any of that, but i just happen to find it fascinating so... so there!

random piture:



scariest picture in the world...

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