myOtaku.com: dark sephiroth
Monday, February 21, 2005
Listening To: Gravitation - The Rage Beat
I think i'm slowly driving myself insane. My day is just a repeat of the last; Wake up, get clean, go on interent, watch 30mins of TV, go back on internet, go to bed. It drags on and on. The only time i'm truely happy is when i rest. I disappear to my dream world. Where i'm someone. Now i know what your thinking "She wants attention" but you couldn't be further from the truth. I just wish i was special to someone. That i didn't feel like i was slowly fading away. My friends and family are drifting further and further away from me. And no one seems to realise i'm left standing alone.
Of course thats partly my fault, i let them slip through my fingers without a second thought. And i'm very good at putting on a mask to hide my true feelings. I give so many comforting words, words of encouragement. And i can't even pull myself from my dark thoughts. What right do i have to give out those words when i don't even follow them? I feel quite selfish you know. Alot of people i talk to are going through tough times, they actually have a reason to be depressed. I don't. And yet i am.
I do hope my sanity slips, maybe then life will get interesting. I doubt it somehow. I'll probably still sit in my room alone and drive my self further into the darkness that is insanity. I just feel like ending it all. I mean before everyone truely forgets me. Is that what i'm scared of? Being forgotten? Well to a certain extent i guess i am. But who isnt? No one wishes to fade away. *Sigh* I feel so fucking pathetic. No wait, scratch that. I am fucking pathetic.
Nex est tantum exordium....
Wow, i can't believe i wrote something like that. If your wondering i didn't just write that now i wrote that 2 days ago. And for no apperant reason. It was orginally meant to be a poem, but then it turned into personal babble, i guess it was something i needed off my chest considering how fast i actually wrote it >.<
Anyway, don't pay too much attention to that. Sorry i wasn't here at all yesterday ^^; I was at my mum's playing Halo 2 with Steve. Haha, and i'll tell you one thing, never, and i mean NEVER give D Sephy control over a tank XD it will be the end of all things haha. I blew up everything and anything that was moving, and even things that weren't o_O It's always fun thou ^.^
Then we watched Jack Dee's Happy Hour. Damn that man is funny! He never smiles XD and is sarcastic and very rude towards anyone and everyone lol. Funny funny man indeed. And when i woke up this morning, guess what? It was freaking snowing! I mean, talk about fucking late or what! Its 21st of Feb >.> We wanted a White Christmas, not a fucking White Febuary >.<
Anyway, i think this is long enough o_O enjoy my Seto/Joey pic Ain't they cute <3 Ohh and Queen of Anime of course ye can nick the banner at the bottom of my page ^^ and any other pic i post up (unless i say otherwise) spread the Seto/Joey love XD