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Friday, November 19, 2004

You Left Me
Time has finally taken its tow,
On my beaten and bruised soul.

You left me cold and alone outside,
So whats to save me from my suicide?

Harsh strong winds start to blow,
Telling me silently that its time to go.

Rain falls upon sleep forbiden eyes,
"I won't leave you" was that a lie?

I've lost so much to gain nothing,
I wish for that perfect something, anything.

'When one door closes, another opens' you say,
But the door doesn't show me a brighter day.

So i let the rain wash away my spilled essense,
And hope that in my nirvana, I'll feel your presense.

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Thursday, November 18, 2004

Sorry i haven't been here for a few days ^^; I was at my mums and just playing Halo 2 and Star Ocean ~ Till the end of time. Also i bought some new albums, Embrace, Damien Rice O and Snow Patrol. But it looks like Breaking Benjamin ain't even out here in the UK, well there certainly was no trace of them in the several music stores i visited. So i'm just guna download alot of their songs and put it onto a blank CD. Sorry but buying it all the way from Amercia is just a hassle i would rather not go through. Ohh and tomorrow i will be buying the new RPG Tales of Symponia (pardon if i got the spelling wrong). It looks great, the cut scenes are anime style, whoohoo. And before i forget, i got my first manga ^.^ I bought the 1st volume of Cowboy Bebop hehe, and its in English. So i can actually read it XD anyway im babbling, thankies for the congrates *hugs everyone tight* you're all fab ^.^
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Tuesday, November 16, 2004

7000 Visits!!
Wow, 7000, damn you people who visit me must be mentally ill or something lol. But thank you, thank you. Here are some yummy piccy's i found, but i couldnt choose which one, soo here are all of them lmao XD

This one was just for fun. I mean wtf lmao XD

Hey...whoops, just realised i done none for you guys ^^;; hmm got carried away with the sexy lads didnt i. Haha, sorry guys but you'll have to settle for drooling over the hottness that is the Inuyasha guys lol *is a perv and proud of it* lmao

[Edit] Mwahmwah i changed the song. To "Blow Me Away" by Breaking Benjamin. It was actually really easy to find this mp3, wanna know why? Cos its on "Halo 2" and everyone is downloading it everywhere XD

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Monday, November 15, 2004

Ack well nothing is downloading properly for me, so bullshit to that. I'm still guna try though. Well i been listening to alot of Breaking Benjamin lately. So gotta album, excellent band. So far i'm guna buy 5 albums with the money i got. Train, Embrace, Breaking Benjamin, Damien Rice and Snow Patrol.

And also, i got an email today (or last night, when i was asleep). I don't even know this person and they are tellin me that i shouldn't give up and stuff >.> i was "Who are the fuck are you?" I never deleted it, i might email them back, asking who they are. They said they read one of my poems, so they could be from BL, MyO, or just some random person who just happened to see a poem of mine -.-;

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Sunday, November 14, 2004

Ok watched all of Hellsing. I must admit it left alot of questions un answered >.> i hate when things do that, but oh well. And Alucard (emm i think thats how ye spell his name) is one fucked up demon, i like him better with his while hair (you only see that in 1 episode). He looks more pyhsco pathic that way lol.

Ohh and Shanny sorry that i didnt talk for ages on our chat ^^; my bro started pressing all the buttons on the keyboard so me and him were having a play fight for about an hour. Which ended up with me laughin so much i cried lol. Well im off to try D/L something >.> *needs anime*

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Saturday, November 13, 2004

Well i watched 36 episodes of Inuyasha. Thats all animecrave have, so im guna have to D/L the rest. Then i started watching the Hellsing thats on animecrave. At first i thought it was an anime i wouldn't like to much. Yeah im all for lots of blood, but there was something about it that didnt grab my attention like most anime. But now, after watching the 6th episode it seems to have gotten alot better. Haha i love the Vampire that started speakin down that walkie talkie (whatever it is), he said stuff like (not exactly what he said, but close enough):

"I highly suggest you go in a corner and start pissing yourself, followed by praying to your incompedent (sp?) God. And if your lucky and start early, you can commit suicide!"

I was havin a giggle fit when he said that. Well im off to watch some more Hellsing ^.^

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Friday, November 12, 2004

I stayed up all night watching Inuyasha. I was hoping to catch some sleep, but because Trish over slept, i have to look after Paige. But hey, means i can just watch more Inuyasha haha. Ohh and sorry about not turning on my comments for about 3 days, but i dont want people giving me lectures about being depressed etc etc. So yes, if i do get any i will just turn em off again. Call me stubborn if ye will, i dont really care. Anyway i'm guna finish watching season 1 of Inuyasha ^^ Yes im so far behind -.-; but hey give me a break, it doesnt even show in UK, im watching it from AnimeCrave. So see ya people ^^ ohh and hope ye like the new theme ^.~
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Thursday, November 11, 2004

Don't turn away
Here i stand in this empty void,
The darkness starts to crush my body,
It suffocates me.

I out stretch my hand to you,
Pull me out of this black hell,
Please help me.

Then you turn your back to me,
Spit at me and laugh as i drown,
You hate me.

I stare in disbelief as you walk away,
What happened to 'I'll love you forever',
You lied to me.

You were everything i lived for,
Now i accept what must happen,
I let the darkness take me.

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Wednesday, November 10, 2004

You Are My Tradigy
There i sat in the corner of my dark mind,
Turning the blade over in my weak hands,
I then dragged it across pale skin,
And watched crimson stain the blade.

But yet the pain doesn't fade,
The tears won't flow past bruised cheeks,
My heart doesn't feel lightened,
And my soul still holds this burden.

What did you do to me?
To make me this hollow shell,
I use to say love wouldn't affect me,
So why do i self mutilate over you.

You use to hold me when i needed warmth,
You use to make me laugh when the world hated me,
Promises made through your caring actions,
So why did you run off with that pretty face.

Now i sit here in the darkness that is my mind,
I can't hate you, for i love you so,
I can't have you, for your with another,
What else do i have to live for?

I look at the crimson stained blade,
And now it's all to clear what i must do,
The flesh on my neck rips open silently,
And i can see white dots flash before me.

The only thing i hear is something calling my name,
It's you, you wrap me up in your warmth,
And weep your love to me,
I slowly close my eyes, with a smile painted on my face.

Now i can die happy.


Yes still here, one of my friends gave me damned guilt trip. And Ryu...thanks. And no, i don't wanna talk about what happened last night.

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Tuesday, November 9, 2004


Don't fucking PM me. Just fucking leave me alone!

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