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Tuesday, January 11, 2005

Sorry, been lacking in the update department again haven't i? I went to Pauls over the weekend to sleep round. Neil, Jim, Phil, Chris, Me, Paul and Michelle were all there. Michelle said things between her and Paul aint getting any better. But i never had a chance to talk to Paul in private.

Im going out again to another party this weekend. And then another one the weekend after -.-; busy busy. And finally we're sorting out all the rooms. Although that means i have to sort out my hellhole of a room.

Well i gotta go YuGiOh is coming on, and i dont wanna miss it. Heres my sexy Bishie for the day:

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Friday, January 7, 2005

Sorry its taken me a while to update. My life has been pretty borin as of recently, so i didnt know what to post.

Well at the moment im having to baby Michelle. Well not baby, but you know, look out for her, give her comforting words etc. Why? Because her and Paul been having 'bad' arguments, and shes worried she'll lose him. And shes really scared. It hurts me to see her like this, shes been my wall to lean on for so long, that it kills me to see her upset like this. So now im being the 'wall' type figure. Somehow i dont think she'll lose Paul, i've never seen them argue 'badly' but whenever im around them, all i can see between them is love. I know. Sounds corny right? But really, if you hang around us lot, its just relaxing ^^

My mum has kinda pissed me off as well. Me, her, and Stephen were meant to drop Amy back off at Southampton. But now my mum has gotten her BF Mark to drop Amy back. I mean, he had this thing set for ages, weeks. And then 30minutes before she picks me up, she changes the plan. She said 'One Saturday i'll make it a promise that me you and Steve go up there to see her'. But that aint the point. I wanted to go today. Most weekends this month are jam packed for me. My bros b-day, Richard's b-day and Mic's b-day. So yeah, im in a very sulku mood at the moment. I might go find a pic to cheer me up heh.

YAY for Taichi and Yamato ^.^ TAITO WHOOP.

What odd Yu-Gi-Oh moment are you? o_O

brought to you by Quizilla

You've gotta do this quiz, it gave me the giggles ^.^

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Monday, January 3, 2005

Ack, man i am so pissed off with the neighbours. They had this party thing, and their music was SOO loud. And it didn't go off till about 3am. I could hear every lyric to their songs, and the bass actually made vibrations. Can you believe that?

Ye know what? I'm guna have a party and put my music up that loud. Just to piss them off. Stupid people -_-; And i think i'm getting a headache. Anyway, thats my rant over dude and dudettes.

Now some things to drool over, well at least for me anyway:

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Friday, December 31, 2004

9000 Hits!!

Thanks for all the visits dudes and dudettes. Love ye all xxx

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Thursday, December 30, 2004

Sorry that i ain't been around alot lately.
I've just been kinda shitty lately. With the whole Val thing still going through my mind. I won't go into details about how i feel, because its long and people end up only telling me its not my fault, although it still feels that way.

Well lets move onto better things, for Christmas i got a few CDs (Breaking Benjamin and Train) about 5 mangas of Cowboy Bebop. I got this really scary doll thingy, and everyone is saying its just like me -.-; my family always do something like this ye know. Its a pretty cool doll though, if i say so myself. And then i got the normal other stuff, perfume things, candles, teddies etc.

I saw lots of the family a few days ago, we all went up my aunt Toni's and saw my aunts Wendy, Jackie, Lesley and all our cousins. That was cool to see em all again, me and Steve were laughing at one of my aunts boyfriends Kevin. I thought his name was Stewart and all he done was stare at the middle of the room for about an hour. Strange man.

Anime wise, i've been re-watching most of the sagas on DBZ. And i've been watching alot of Yu-Gi-Oh. I actually bought some of the YGO cards haha XD me and my sister been playing constantly, its a good game to waste time on ye know.

Ok well i'm guna shout out to a few people now:
Chie ~ Hun, your a great gal, seriously. That card you sent via PM really was heart felt, and its done a world of good to me. Your a sweet gal and i hope you've been ok as of late.

Shanny ~ Sorry i ain't been on MSN lately, seems like forever hah. I really hope your doing ok, well at least better then what i last heard. Even if it may not look like it, i'm still here for ye babe.

Lockheartifa ~ You have been a rock to my lately, even though it may not seem like it. I can't describe how it felt to get some of that stuff off my chest last night, and you just listened ^^ thank ye hun.

And theres alot of you i wanna thank, all of you whom wished me a Merry X-Mas or a Happy New Year. And those how generally said hey ho haha. Well i'm guna go. Hope ye have a great day.

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Sunday, December 26, 2004

Sorry this is abit late.

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Wednesday, December 22, 2004

Each word, written for you,
Letting you know how much they care.
Why can i not do the same?
Why won't my mind put together brillant beauty?
Why has my once creative mind, suddenly gone blank?

People seem to think i have forgotten and moved on.
But i have not.
I will not.
I cannot.

Kess, you are divine beauty in its perfection.
You are my world.

I cannot put these tears into words.
I cannot put my sorrow in rythming stanzas.
I cannot be the strong person you wished for.
I cannot be...i just cannot.

I wish for another chance,
To be the one who stood beside you.
To be the person you always thought i was.

I am a failure.
As a friend.
As your friend.

I can only now wish for one thing.
That you either wake up, and the world is what you wanted it to be.
That the people are the way you want them to be.
Or, that you can finally rest in peace, and pain fades away from your aching heart.

People tell me its not my fault.
That you choose this road you are on.
But, they are wrong.
I may not be the soul reason for your departure.
I may only be a tiny bit of the reason.
But even that is enough.
My heart is dying.
Each time i see someone speak about you,
Each time i see someone mourn for you,
Each time...my heart is stabbed.
I cannot describe the pain i feel...for letting you down.

I hate myself.
I hate the fact that you may be gone.
I hate my weakness'.
I hate it...all of it.

Dear Kessra,
I love you.


The Orginal Pirate Queen. A page dedicated to Kess, made by FunkyDory.

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Tuesday, December 21, 2004

Well i got a new game ^^ DragonBall Z: Budokai 3. Excellent game, i love the special moves ^.^ they is soo cool. So i've already spent about 40 Pound of my X-Mas money oO;; and it aint X-Mas yet hehe. Also been wacthing YGO, Sonic X and the Buu Saga (DBZ). I've only just started to get into YGO, i've always loved Sonic, and DBZ was one of my first animes ever haha.

Ok well nothing else to say, other then the great fact that i was nearly blamed for someone being in hospital (they tried to commit suicide). My friend (Val, who tried the suicide), well her sister sent me a letter and at the end it said:

"Well now you can add two more broken girls to your list"

So if i seem in a shitty mood, its because i got blamed for someone trying to kill themselves, and it aint good, i feel guilty as hell, although i know i didn't do anything too major to upset Val -.-; I can only beg and pray she will live.

Anyway heres some piccys of Sonic and Shadow, yes i like the yaoi pairing haha XD (But Shadow is my all time fav char from Sonic series <3). And don't they look cool as humans?

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Monday, December 20, 2004

Muse Rule!!
Ok sorry ain't been here in a few days. But i've been busy, buying prezzies, and going to see MUSE!! OMG it was GREAT! Although my legs are all achy and painy now, from all the jumping and pushing etc etc. You never guess what me and my sis saw though? This guy of about 60 was in the mosh pit oO;; emm how strange. He looked like he was enjoying himself so good for him haha. I had a blast, although kinda saddened my mum couldn't come, she was ill.

Ohh and if your wondering, Dark Phoenix is in hospital at the moment. She told me to tell you a few days ago but as said, i've been busy. She'll be ok, so don't worry to much k.

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Friday, December 17, 2004

My Goddess
Set my heart on fire,
It weeps without your flame.
Make my soul bleed,
It howls when your not stabbing it.
Let my spirit be kissed,
Your sweet lips kill my venom.
Leave me oxygen deprived,
I can leave off you alone.

You were my light, my dark.
Killing away the shadows,
Replacing them with a light only you could amit.
Setting my heart straight,
Helping me through my own blindness.

But now the Angels have taken you.
And you are gone.

Why did you leave?
Why did you leave me?
Why did you go?
Why did you go without me?

Bring back my Angel,
Let her set my heart alight once more.
Bring back my Captain,
Let my blood run through her fingers again.
Bring back my Guardian,
Let her bitter sweet kiss live in my spirit.
Bring back my Goddess,
Let her oxygen flow through me.

I need you to live again.
But your not here.
I need you to survive.
But your not here.
I need you.
But you ain't coming back.

Live on in peace my Angel,
As i will not sleep another night.
Live on in peave my Captain,
As i will weep for you constantly.
Live on in peace my Guardian,
Let the heavens look after you.
Live on in peace my Goddess,
As i will not...

Let my tears mix with my mascara,
And show my tears with pride through black lines.
Let the heavens know that this bitch weeps,
Let them know that this bitch weeps for her lost Goddess.
Let them know that this bitch...loves her lost Goddess.
...Even after death.


Written for someone very special to me. Who may be gone. I beg and pray that she isn't. But i will love her all the same, in life or death.

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