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Sunday, February 27, 2005

Listening To: Patricia Kaas - Mon Mec A Moi
Yep, i'm listening to a French song. And its very beautiful may i add o_O I heard it from Richard's site (Chocobo Gene) orginally, and now i'm addicted to its beauty.

Last night, guess what i done? Cried. Alot. I was talking to Steve (Egill Hobob) and i was listening to Mon Mec A Moi, and then i just started crying. I guess i had alot of pent up stress and stuff.

And Steve, being the lil angel he is, just sat there let me cry my heart out over MSN while i started saying how much i hate life. *Sigh* i haven't cried in sometime heh. Not sure if it made things worse or better.

Well other then the crying thing, i got blew off by Michelle again last night. We were meant to be going out, but she never rang ~_~ So Phil and me just went out for 2 hours talking heh. Wasn't all that bad really, just cold.

Well, thats all from me, have fun looking at Joey as a puppy, and what looks like Seto as a lizard o_O (Joey is adorable *glomps him*)

PhotoBucket is being a bitch today, so sorry about all the dead links and stuff >.<

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Saturday, February 26, 2005

Listening To: Firestar - Palahniuks Laughter
<--- I love this pairing. Anyway, i don't seem to hate everything at this moment. A few things cheered me up last night but i've kinda just given up on most of it all. Yeah, you know that stupid annoying phase *sigh* blah. Wasn't in the best of moods last night, so if you caught me on MSN and i was a bitch, please do excuse me. Since i have no one else to talk too, i take my anger out on people online *sigh* pathetic, yes indeed it is.

Well, i did get to watch Naruto 123, and Sukisyo 6. Naruto was great, hehe a drunken Rock Lee is always fun. And Sukisyo, well that thing had me in tears, God damn it. They were Angels (cosplay) and were trying to set up two people by making the perfect atmosphere, lets say it didn't work at all. The funniest bit for me was when Sora dumped the whole basket of rose petals over this guys head then fell on top of him XD

And the other thing that brought a smile to my face was John. Him and Liz (both old friends of my dad) came round last night, i was in the Living room trying to watch something. John came and stood infront of me:

John: Your almost 17 ain't ya?
Me: Yeah, in a few weeks.
John: So that means you can swear in front of people. So go on, say to me 'bolox' and then tell me to 'fuck off'

Ok, most people find it offensive when i swear, and here i am being told by a 40(odd)Yr old parent to swear at him. OMG i cracked up, i couldn't help it. The whole situation was just so weird. So after alot of giggling on my behalf i finally swore at him. He shook my hand and walked off o_O I can just imagine whats going on in his head "Mission Complete, Josie is now a frequent swearer".

And people wonder where i get my foul mouth =P

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Friday, February 25, 2005

Listening To: Nine Inch Nails - Perfect Drug
Well i was meant to be going out today to go find a job. But Trish pulled out at the last minute, joy *note the sarcasim*. I swear people just drop me without second thought. It always fucking happens. So yeah, i'm slightly pissed. I need to get stoned out my face or something, cos i'm seiously considering ramming my head through a wall or something.

Sorry to all my new friends who have only seen this 'happy-sappy' stupid side to me so far. But i've fallen into another depressive doubt (which is just fucking peachy, is it fucking not?!) so you might be seeing a different side of me for a while -.-; Now i sound like some kinda fuckin preacher. Grrr, each passing minute i find something else to be pissed about. So i'm more then likely guna be in a shitty mood for a while *sigh*

And lately, i can't sleep. I just lay in my bed for hours and hours (for up tp 5 hours) doing nothing but trying to sleep. And even after i fall asleep, i wake up early. So yeah, sleep hates me at the moment. These are the times i wish i was back on my fucking pills, they actually put me asleep no time flat *sigh* but you can't depend on pills forever...right?

Well, i'm out of here before this stupid entry gets even more fucked. Laterz people.

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Thursday, February 24, 2005

Listening To: Rolling Stones - Paint It Black
Thanks for liking the Seto-Neko heh. And some of you wanted to know if i'm d/l Sukisyo or buying the DvD's. Well i'm d/l it from AnimeSuki. Its under the series part.

Well last night, i think something inside me snapped. I don't know why, or how. But it seriously has. Heres my latest poem:

Given Up

The life in me has died,
The feeling inside me gone,
Just like an ending to a song.

I just don't care anymore.

Say what you want,
It doesn't hurt anymore.
Think what you will,
It won't change a thing.

I am a hollow being,
Pulled along by puppett strings,
Use and abuse me.

I just don't care anymore.

Look at me that way,
It has no effect.
Touch me how you want,
I refuse to come back.

Now you finally see,
This body has no emotion,
So just leave me be.

I just don't care anymore.

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Wednesday, February 23, 2005

Listening To: Blink 182 - Dysentery Gary
I have a new anime i watch to hoot and holla about ^.^ it sooo reminds me of Gravitation (probably same makers or something like that). It's called Sukisyo. It was orginally a game (well 4 games anyway). But the game isn't sold outside of Japan, well thats what Steve said, but i'll try and find an Amercian/English version anyway ^^

And the best thing about it is, its yaoi XD the game actually has porn pictures to go with it o_O i'm being serious, i think they have sex scenes in the actual game haha. My wallpaper is some of those clips put together =P (if my dad sees it, i'm a dead bitch).

Nothing else exciting, other then its snowing again. I don't think my Dave (cat) likes the snow, the first sign of it and hes meowing at the door to come in XD

"I'm giving up on everything,
Because you messed me up,
Don't know how much you screwed it up,
You never listened

I found this on a fic, and i want to know the actual song it goes too o_O any clue, inform me and i'll glomp ye for your trouble XD Anyway, heres that Neko-Seto i was on about ^.^ ain't he so adorable.

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Tuesday, February 22, 2005

Listening To: Rolling Stones - Paint It Black
Hey, new theme (once again, d'uh). I like this theme ^^ mainly cos i love the picture next to the Shoutbox. Ain't Joey so innocent and kawaii!! I finally found two of my old fav songs XD Paint it Black (Rolling Stones)and Losing my Religion (REM). Well Steve found em, but still same thing.

Also my bro found this 10inch figure of Sephiroth O.O i so badly want it! Damn it! If i get the money for my birthday i will have to buy it ^.^ Ohh and the snow got alot heavier last night, so fields and shit are covered in a white sheet of snow today ^.^ I think its pretty hehe.

It seems some of you can relate to my babble yesterday ^^ so i say, lets all stick together XD (i think the snowy atmosphere has put me in a good mood lol). Ohh and i have the cutest pic of Seto ever ^^ hes a neko!! I should show it to you ppl hehe

Anyway anyway, heres Seto looking devilishly hot in black ^,^

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Monday, February 21, 2005

Listening To: Gravitation - The Rage Beat
I think i'm slowly driving myself insane. My day is just a repeat of the last; Wake up, get clean, go on interent, watch 30mins of TV, go back on internet, go to bed. It drags on and on. The only time i'm truely happy is when i rest. I disappear to my dream world. Where i'm someone. Now i know what your thinking "She wants attention" but you couldn't be further from the truth. I just wish i was special to someone. That i didn't feel like i was slowly fading away. My friends and family are drifting further and further away from me. And no one seems to realise i'm left standing alone.

Of course thats partly my fault, i let them slip through my fingers without a second thought. And i'm very good at putting on a mask to hide my true feelings. I give so many comforting words, words of encouragement. And i can't even pull myself from my dark thoughts. What right do i have to give out those words when i don't even follow them? I feel quite selfish you know. Alot of people i talk to are going through tough times, they actually have a reason to be depressed. I don't. And yet i am.

I do hope my sanity slips, maybe then life will get interesting. I doubt it somehow. I'll probably still sit in my room alone and drive my self further into the darkness that is insanity. I just feel like ending it all. I mean before everyone truely forgets me. Is that what i'm scared of? Being forgotten? Well to a certain extent i guess i am. But who isnt? No one wishes to fade away. *Sigh* I feel so fucking pathetic. No wait, scratch that. I am fucking pathetic.

Nex est tantum exordium....

Wow, i can't believe i wrote something like that. If your wondering i didn't just write that now i wrote that 2 days ago. And for no apperant reason. It was orginally meant to be a poem, but then it turned into personal babble, i guess it was something i needed off my chest considering how fast i actually wrote it >.<

Anyway, don't pay too much attention to that. Sorry i wasn't here at all yesterday ^^; I was at my mum's playing Halo 2 with Steve. Haha, and i'll tell you one thing, never, and i mean NEVER give D Sephy control over a tank XD it will be the end of all things haha. I blew up everything and anything that was moving, and even things that weren't o_O It's always fun thou ^.^

Then we watched Jack Dee's Happy Hour. Damn that man is funny! He never smiles XD and is sarcastic and very rude towards anyone and everyone lol. Funny funny man indeed. And when i woke up this morning, guess what? It was freaking snowing! I mean, talk about fucking late or what! Its 21st of Feb >.> We wanted a White Christmas, not a fucking White Febuary >.<

Anyway, i think this is long enough o_O enjoy my Seto/Joey pic Ain't they cute <3 Ohh and Queen of Anime of course ye can nick the banner at the bottom of my page ^^ and any other pic i post up (unless i say otherwise) spread the Seto/Joey love XD

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Saturday, February 19, 2005

Listening To: Curve - Chinese Burn
Haha, i think i cheered myselfup last night pretty well ^.^ wanna know how? I found about 30ish Seto/Joey pics. HAZAA!! I am a happy pappy, also found more icons, that brings me to about 400 icons o_O emm, how the fuck am i guna use that many icons lol. Ahh well, its fun to collect em *shrugs*

Ohh new theme (d'uh) as i said last time this it the Red Rose Joey theme ^.^ i think its alright, althou the pinky colour on the menu bar might get on my nerves after a while *shrugs* when that day comes i'll change it.

Ohh and Broken Blade, thanks for commenting ^.^ you definatly know how to make me giggle XD Hazaa for wedgies lmao. My B-Day is approaching and i have no idea what i want, or what i want to do o_O well i want the whole YGO series, but that will cost about 100 pounds >.< and i'm not too sure my mum has that money lol.

Yugioh Bishie Wedding! (for girls)
by yui-chan
Married ToKatsuya Jounouchi
His wedding gift to youHot sex =D
Quiz created with MemeGen!

Hazaa! I am happy, i get Jou and Hot Sex! Whoohoo XD

Anyway, you enjoy this chibi pic ^^ (look at Seto sing!)

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Friday, February 18, 2005

Listening To: Three Days Grace - I Hate Everything About You
Well it seems Matt found out about me wanting him to lay off. Seems he read MyOtaku journal entry *shrugs* I'm now very pissed off. Why? I hate when people i know (like, in real life) read my personal stuff. I hated Amy when she done it, and now i hate the fact that Matt has.

He came to my house this morning, actually about 30 minutes ago and said "Thanks, i just read your MyOtaku thing". Then he goes off to say things like "I thought i like you, but i didn't. Any why didn't you just tell me to back off?" Ermm, ok heres the deal, i've known him for 4/5 days, i ain't guna say after that short a time "Back off".
From now on, if he reads things on here that upset then tough shit. I come to MyO to vent/rant and just generally chat, if anything i say offends anyone, then not my fuckin problem ok. This is like a personal lil haven for me, somewhere where i can be me, and actually get things off my chest that i wouldn't be able to normally.

Well, i'm pissed, so i'm guna find something to do before i punch a wall or something.

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Thursday, February 17, 2005

Listening To: Damien Rice - Older Chests
They licensed Naruto...i'm offically pissed off >.< But thanks to Blonde Angel at least i can watch 122 ^.^ And (if they actually sell these things) i want to buy a Joey plushie o_O hes one of my biggest obsessions, along with Sephiroth and Kratos (although no one will ever be able to replace Sephy).

Anyway, i have nothing new to report. Unless you count the fact that Matt is starting to grate on me. Some of you seem to think we go out, well, no we don't. He keeps ringing me up, and asking me to come on MSN or go out.

And i'm not use to this, i'm a lone wolf. The only time i ever go out is with Michelle, and that it like, once, maybe twice a week. Thats the only times we talk as well. Nothing more, and then suddenly i'm getting all these calls asking me to go out etc. I feel crowded -.-; and i don't like it one bit. I'd rather stay at home, sit on my fat ass all day and do nothing. So i think its offical, i don't want a BF, if its anything like what i've been experiencing the last week, then i don't want one. Simple as.

Sorry to rant ^^; but its been getting on my nerves, and i needed it off my chest. Anyway enjoy this pic, and laterz x

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