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Friday, November 3, 2006


Divine EleganceI feel like I want to type, but I donít know what to say. Iím too emotionally drained to put it into words well. I just want to belong, to feel like Iím worth something in my daily life. I want to feel like I contribute, at least a little bit, to the happiness of the people around me. Iím not even asking for my own happiness right now, just as long as I can feel worth something. A friendly smile, or simple answer to my comments. Instead of a stare like Iím the biggest asshole in the world for saying anything at all.

We all need to be needed, right. And itís a dreary thing indeed to feel not needed. And thatís how my past couple of days have been, dreary experiences. I donít understand what it is about me, that people tend to come to the conclusion that Iím a waist of space. Who knows, maybe I am and I should just learn to accept it. Or maybe I just need to work a lot harder to show them I can do something to be proud of once in a while. Iím so tired of being useless. And Iím so tired of being cold.

Itís true what they say, no one can change your life for you, you have to do it for yourself. But what if you donít have the means to do it? Gods, how I wish I did though.

Because we demand more Firefly

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