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Monday, February 23, 2009

   emotional roller coaster... woohoo... :/
hey there guys.

i have had quite the weekend. and im quite exhausted... but i still wanted to say hi.

so this friday i had a date with this guy i met at my friends birthday party... lol cliche right? i know. but he was really funny and really cool and sweet. we have similar personalities so we never ran out of things to talk about. :) idk if ill go out with him again. but he was fun. my only problem is i like this other boy who lives in my dorm and idk if the feeling is mutual... i know we are good friends but idk if there is more. lol this feels kind of high school... but thats okay. i have yet to talk about this with my friends here just because i don't want to jinx anything, and i only say that because it has happened before. :/ but i think that if i tell myO friends that it won't have the jinx effect :D
then after my date i went to this dance that was being held at my college and that went till 1am. and me and my friends stayed the whole time! it was really fun but there were lots of creepers. :( so me and my friends just danced with each other and helped keep each other away from other creepers! :D yay. and then i fell asleep in my friends room at like 3:30am just after we had ordered pizza. lol what a mess.

so that was friday...

i woke up at about 9:30 and i went down to my other friends house and we made floor waffles! basically we had two waffle makers sitting on the floor plugged in, makin the waffles. :) they were yum yums. and then me and my friend who left school came to pick me up and we went to go see the movies Caroline! it was really good! a lot darker than i had expected... but then again this is Tim Burton we're talking about. :) (he's amazing)!
and then we met up with more of the waffle gang and we went sweater shopping at a thrift store, but we didn't have much luck unfortunately. :(
and then we went to go see the guy who lives in my dorm that i like play bass in this jazz band at this coffee shop that was having an open mic night. lol what a long sentence.

and after that... the shit hit the fan.

i walk in my room and i see one of my roommates has all of her stuff packed up... and i see everything sitting there in luggage bags and nothing really registers at first. and then i realize that she is leaving school.


thats kind of how i felt. it was lots of emotions... i was kind of mad at first because she never told me anything, and then i was emidiately sad because i thought that, that was what our relationship as roommates had become. she wouldn't even tell me if she was leaving school. :/ i was so sad that she didn't even feel like i deserved some kind of explanation...

so then i went and talked to the boy who lives in my dorm about all this and how sad it made me but also i kind of wanted to know if he knew anything, but he didn't. and then my roommate came home...

i went into my room to ask her what was up with leaving, like why and why so suddenly. she told me that it was because of her dad. he has Parkinson's and while he was undergoing surgery to help stop the disease from spreading so much they found a tumor. and because they had to do the first surgery first, he has to go back later and get the tumor taken out. and my roommate was going to go home so that she could be home with her family and support them while he has his surgeries. and that totally makes sense. it just made me so sad. not just because even though we have fought, i will still miss her; but also because if that had been my dad, i don't know what i would have done! and the thing with my roommate is that she is not really able to express her feelings at all. and i am totally the opposite, im a crier. :/ and at first i just thought that she was being really cold, but i realized that its just the way that she was brought up, and the funny thing is, her dad is the exact same way. :) so its clear how much this must being affecting her but she just is incapable of showing it. :/

but wait theres more! (ugh)

so then she goes to cancel all her classes and her housing and meal plan and all that jazz and me and my other roommate wait around so that we can say goodbye to her and we wont miss her leaving, cuz if she had that opportunity she totally would just write us notes and leave.... (ahh! it was very frustrating)

but then...
she comes back and we're like, so how did it go? and all she says is "i'm staying" and me and my roommate just look at each other like... wtf! so she explains that her dad came and told her that he wants her to stay here and finish the quarter and then come home for spring break so that he can have the surgery then with everyone there and she won't have to leave school. but she might leave after this quarter is over... but we don't really know yet. ugh.

and for me i was kind of feeling like, everyone close to me is leaving. my best friend, and my roommate, not that we were really close recently cuz of our fight, but i still care about her you know? that kind of just happens when you live with someone, at least for me it has. so after we find all of this out its kind of impossible to deal with so me and my roomie go down town and go shopping in efforts to do something to get our minds off this situation that just sucks. and the only good things that came out of this whole experience is: i got to realize that i do care about my roommate and i got the chance to tell her that, and i got to talk to the guy i like about it and just see how he felt about the whole thing, and then i got a really cute LBD :) ( Little Black Dress.) lol so even though everything kind of just sucks right now, i know that it will all work out and all i can do is pray, and im not a christian, but i feel like anything helps. i just pray that her dad will be okay. XC agh!

this was a massive post, if you actually read it all i commend you and thank you for doing so! :)


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