Monday, May 3, 2004

This is the rerepost of Rain (Brought back due to popular demand). The first part of my next Narrative, called Secret will be up Thursday. Rain     Rain, cold and steady fell indiscriminantly on the city and the few people who were out so late in it. The thunder and lightning were subdued, enhancing the clean, peaceful atmosphere without all the noise and chaos of a storm. A brief fleck of light whispered among the clouds in a dance that took it skipping across the dark night sky. As the gentle static of rain fell softly on everything, a slight grumbling of thunder could be heard telling its secrets to those who would listen. The lights from the store fronts glowed brightly off the pavement, polished to a mirror shine by the layer of water laying on it, though blurred by the dancing raindrops.     I walked slowly through a small park nestled in across the street from a line of stores, noting tht though the night was filled with sounds and activity, it was rather still and quiet. An occassional jogger would run by, casting an odd look back, as if trying to figure out the stranger in his dark trenchcoat walking in the rain without even noticing it pelting him. The damp, chilled air carried with it a salty, earthy scent brought with the rain from wherever the clouds had been before. Finding a bench and sitting down, I waited. A shadowy figure had been following very close and kept dropping in and out of my field of view. It wasn't treatening in any way, just a nuisance to see the slightest hint of movement flitting around, and know something was behind it.     "Some weather tonight?" A voice asked me from the other end of the bench. I recognized it instantly, though I cringed to here the voice of my Special Instructor, strike that, former Special Instructor again so soon.     "I like the rain." My tone was dry, a bit distant. "It's calming, and it doesn't care who you are." I turned to look at my shadow. "Why have you been following me?"     "You left in such a hurry without saying anything, I had to make sure you were okay." The Instructor said with concern in her voice.     "I didn't have a choice. You know the circumstances, don't make me repeat them." I probably said that too harshly, but anger makes one lose control at times.     "It was a setback, but that doesn't mean you have to give up on the Program entirely." The Instructor spoke in an odd tone, hiding something very important, something she didn't want to say.     "Instructor Heart," I spoke firmly, using the name assigned to the Instructor by the Program, they had this thing with human traits. "I took an an oath that states when I can not longer live up to the mission, I will step down from my position and leave the Program completely. I lost the charge placed in my protection, that's all there is too it. I can't go back." I turned my eyes to a couple standing by the fountain in the park's center. They were discussing something important judging by the emphatic gestuing of their arms. A wash of emotions came from that conversation, frustration, anger, jealousy, and a lot more all began spinning around inside my head. A quick blink wiped it all away.     "You're quitting after all you've been taught, just because of one small thing?" Instructor Heart asked, sounding like she didn't believe what I'd said.     "A person is dead because I froze at a critical moment and couldn't do anything. I can't be a Protector if that's how I handle attacks." I snapped bitterly, turning my attention to the sky, letting the rain roll down my face.     "You're letting the results of only one test ruin it for you?" Instructor Heart surprised me with some information I hadn't been aware of, and her tone of amusement.     "It was a test?!?" I barked so loud the sound eched off buildings, and could be heard over the rain and thunder. "Tell me, is the victim sitting back laughing at my expense right now?"     "It's not like that, the situation was real, but it was under observation." Instructor Heart corrected.     "Then don't waste your time. I'd violate the oath I took if I went back." I stood up and took a step away from the bench.     "Before you go," Instructor Heart took a long thin box out of her coat and handed it to me. "You should take this." Her tone was giving, but buried the truth again.     "If that's what I think it is, I can't accept it." lifted my hands back to keep them from touching the box, which I was pretty sure contained the symbol of the Program given to those who successfully complete it, a rather ornately hilted dagger. After a moment of my standing still, I could barely feel a note of hesitancy coming from Heart. It was well masked, but there all the same.     "It's not exactly what you think it is," Heart spoke in a lighter tone, "and I have my reasons for giving it to you, please take it." she offered it to me again, I still didn't take the box.     "You're not telling me something, what is it already?" I asked straight out, picking up a spike in the uncertainty as the question came.     "I was sent out her to try and get you back, because the Program doesn't want to have to go with the alternative." Heart said slowly, trying to get up the nerve to tell me.     "Alternative?" I asked.     "If you don't go back, you'll be assigned a Protector of your own." Heart got it out after a long pause. "They just want to make sure your gift is safe, and won't be warped into a Dark Power."     "What you call a gift, is a curse to me. It isn't easy having to sort through all those projected emotions every day. Who's been assigned? It can't be you there's a conflict of interest." My tone was firm, perhaps unjustly angered, but it got the point across.     "I'm only temporary, that's something we both agree on." Heart said assuringly.     "Good, I'll want to speak with him, so make sure he knows to show himself when I address him." The fountain, now unoccupied looked like a great place to think, so I headed toward it, but used what training I had from the Program to melt into the shadows and disappear.     At the fountain's edge I sat staring at the water. The ripples from the rain cascading into it seemed to represent thoughts and how they warp and twist with a drip in the right place. The center column, lit by a plain white light, gurgled an bubbled splashing the waters even more, adding turbulence to the serenity of the rain. It bothered me to know I'd have a living shadow, that I was considered valuable enough to warrant protection. Instructor Heart chose to leave me alone to think about the situation, and get used to the idea, but she did leave the box on the fountain's edge where I sat without my noticing. I opened it up, and sure enough, it was a Program Dagger, but the insignia on the hilt was the one issued to those officially released from service. I studied the dragon's image, and its fire breath closely before closing up the box and going over my choices. Finé

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Breakthrough! I've been having problems with the Otaku Jukebox for a long time now, I've mentioned it before, but I have good news. I've got the Juke running now, and it seems to be doing fine. I don't know what I did, but it may have been part of one of the updates I ran recently for my computer that fixed it. I'm not complaining. I think I'll repost Rain on saturday, barring any unexpected complications, and go from there. hopefully I'll be able to edit my previous postings to remove it(I don't need the same story posted three times in my archives) by then. I have to admit I'm a bit curious about what the new version of Myotaku will be like. I look forward to it, and at the same time I'm apprehensive about it. change can be scary at first, an understandable thing. Patience is something I find very difficult, but I'll certainly try to keep it and let the surprise truly be a pleasant one. Okay, now I know I'm tired, I'm rambling nonsense again. Anime Dreams ¥ CosmicSailor

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Thursday, April 29, 2004

Well, I'm back, and after a bit of rest I decided it was time to post here again with an update on things from the Desert Wastelands of my mind. I'll start with another postponement of my narratives. I want to be sure everything is working before I try to repost my first one, and it looks like things are still being done in a major way onsite here, so I'll hold off another week to give things time to settle down. I've also given some thought to the idea, and decided I'd turn off my guestbook for the time being. It's a good thing to have one, but I need a break from it for a while. Depending on how things are set up in Version 2 of myotaku, I'll bring it back eventually. I do want to thank everyone who signed it, sorry I don't have a list of names to post here. You'll have to excuse me, but a sandstorm is brewing up and I have to go shutter the windows before my mind is turned into a real mess. Anime Dreams CosmicSailor

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