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Hi! Warning, I am very random!

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

  My internet has been shut off, all I can do now is do stuff at school in my cmat class. I hope that I will have the internet turned back on some time next week, but at this time it doesn't look like that will happen. So for anyone who cares, thank you for taking the time to read this and thank you for saying with me.
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Thursday, May 22, 2008

It may hurt,but I have found the bright side! I'll just go on the way it was. With him by my side as my best friend. And for that I am so thankful! As long as I have him with me in some way I can smile and hope that one day he sees just how deeply I care for him. He may never return my feelings and thats okay, as long as I can always have him at my side.
I know that sounds like a bunch of bull, but its not. I love him that much, I just want the best for him. And maybe I'm not whats best for him right now.
So I'll just suck up my tears,put on my happy face and smile. Just so he wont see how much it hurts. I'll fight to protect him just as I've always done. (I don't let people pick on him, hes an easy target because hes short.) I'll act like nothing happened. Becuase I'm happy just to have him as a friend.

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Tuesday, May 20, 2008

I know I'm not the best looking girl, I know that! In fact by many peoples standers I'm ugly! But I didn't think that all guys were the same... I've been best friends with this guy from 7th grade (thats roughly 4 years!) So today I spill my heart to him in a carfully worded letter and he text me saying he wants to but can't. Its that dreaded answer, your the friend but never the girlfriend... the sad truth to being ugly, the guys will always be your friend but never your boyfriend. Never anything more than just friends... And it hurts deep down it hurts more than anything. I love him, so much that I just want him to be happy, even if its not with me. but it still hurts to know that I'll never be the one he looks at from across the room, I'll never be the one he calls to say good night, never the one with a loving hug or kiss, I'm just not the one...
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so much for that whole sleep thing. I spant the night at a friends and she has the one thing that I don't- internet! so all last night I was on the internet! needless to say I now want to go to bed, but its only the 3rd class of the day... And I'm sleeping over at her place till Thursday morning, so I'm not sleeping this week! oh joy
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Monday, May 19, 2008

I was just thinking that maybe I'm to nice. In my english 1 cass this girl always asks me to be her partner. I don't have the heart to tell her no, so I end up doing all the work and she still gets the 100. Is being nice a bad thing? If she doesn't do any of the work am I letting her cheat off me? My head huts now!
Oh, for the first time in like 6 weeks I got more than 3 hours of sleep last night, it was so nice I think I'll try that sleep thing again! I whent to bed at like 6:30pm Saterday night, and didn't get up till 5:00pm Sunday. And last night I whent to bed at 7:00 pm and didn't get up till 6:45 am to go to school! ^.^

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Friday, May 16, 2008

   Name game.
well, I am nothing more than a name game right now. I don't want to use my real name on the net, so I use my nick name. and untill a short time ago was Kitsune, but now it's not...
so I want to go by Nanka (pumpkin). only now mt moms like why does it have to be in japanese all the time. and the kids i watch are why don't you use kitty? (I got to be called kitty cus of a Kon hat i use to have) so now i have no name, till i can make every one happy.

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