Friday, July 13, 2007

   Im Bored
Hey yeah havent written in like forever. not that anyone ever reads my shit either so it doesnt really matter. i just got back from work. i hate my job in the past year ive had 3 different managers and on monday theres gonna be another one replacing the one i have now. His name is bruce. i hope hes not an asshole. mr pete my first manager was the best. rocky my second manager was a dumbass and i hated him sooooo much my third was/is untill monday carl he was cool but showed favortism a lot and you could tell. i think he was a bit sexist too cause boys got raises and promotions but none of the girls did. he also was never there, half the time he'd be drunk out of his ass with this dude named tyler who got promoted into an assistant type of manager but he has only worked there a month longer than i have and less than ian who has been working there about two years. yeah wasnt pretty fair. but whatever.

i wish i could give up talking. everytime i try to talk someone interupts me. i think i ramble on about nothing but still. i dunno it makes me feel hated. i think i just might be. i might get on peoples nerves a lot i dunno why. when people meet me they think that i am the coolest person alive but when they get to know me they just stray away i suck at socializing. i dunno what people see me as. annoying or cool i dunno. people just dont take the time to listen to me. i get ignored or interrupted by everyone and its not like the people that do that to me know each other cause thay dont they usually have no relation with each other other than me. i wish i could figure out what it is that makes me i guess ignorable or interuptable. its just whatever. i try to i dunno i guess sometimes i would just like to be listened to. like my friend jessica i thought she listened to what i said but she has proved me wrong cause when i bring it up again i can tell she doesnt know what im talking about. so sometimes i just wish i was mute and couldnt talk at all. and sometimes when im trying to explain myself cause what i said didnt make any sence and i can tell people didnt understand what the hell i was talkeing about they tell me to calm down and dont let me finish before i can explain what i was saying and they just forget what i was saying at all and move on to the next subject. it gets on my nerves so bad. its like what i have to say doesnt matter and neither do my opinions.

i think my sister has an issue. im not sure but i swear to god shes obsessed with exercising cause she is always exercising. and i mean i understand if you exercise daily for an hour to be healthy and shit but she takes it over the top. she runs like 2 miles walks my dog for a mile then she proceeds to do some other form of exercise and i dunno i guess that may seem normal but i cant explain it very well. she has gotten very skinny and she is always like "oh that has so much fat in it" and sometimes she splurges i dunno its weird i hate to say it but she might have an eating disorder and i might sound like my mother right now but i dont care it makes sence to me.

sometimes.....well fuck sometimes more like all the fucking time when i talk to my parents they think im trying to be a smartass and then they get mad and yell at me but i swear to god either im stupid or they just think i have an attitude all the time but i swear i can be saying something totally serious and not try to be sarcastic or a smartass and they just yelll at me. its like they telll me to talk to them but when i try either they are in a bad mood or they are too busy so why bother. and im not judging their parenting skills but dude come on when your fucking daughter is trying to talk to you shouldnt you listen and they tell me i dont talk to them and i tell them everytime i try to they dont wanna listen so why bother talking at all and then they tell me why should i talk to them when i want to why should they make time out of their schedule to talk to me why should i only talk to them when i feel like it and not when they tell me to...and then i just think ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS!!!!!!!

when me and my sister get into argument she acts so immature like the other day i tried to tell her something and she just covered her ears and started humming...what the hell? she gets angry so easily and when i tell her one negative thing about herself she starts yelling cause i bet she knows im right and she is just mad cause i can see through all her bullshit lies and fakeness. she tries to tell me what to do and im sorry but that shit dont work and then we get into argument and she starts to cry cause apperently im so mean and then its all my fault when it comes down to it. and i know what she has to say and what shes thinking and what my parents are gona say and what theyre thinking and when i tell them what they are about to tell me they know im right so either thay shut up or they telll me to stop being an know it all. and my dad basically tells me im stupid and lazy and fat everyday.

qow long ass blog or whatever but sorry i just had to get it out somehow cause like i says no one bothers to listen to me cause i guess im boring or whatever and it dont matter cause i apperently have no feelings and i am mean and cruel and fat and lazy and a complete bitch who is going to hell :)
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