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Monday, January 10, 2005

   to brighten up your day

Hope you'll like these:


Farmer Joe decided his injuries from his recent accident were serious enough to take the trucking company responsible for the accident to court. In court, the trucking company's fancy lawyer was questioning farmer Joe.
"Didn't you say, at the scene of the accident, that you were fine?"
''Well, I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite mule Bessie into the--"
''I didn't ask for any details,'' the lawyer interrupted. ''Just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, that you were fine?"
''Well I had just got Bessie into the trailer and was driving down the road--''
''Judge, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Highway Patrolman on the scene that he was just fine. Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question.''
By this time the Judge was fairly interested in Farmer Joe's answer and told the lawyer so.
''Well," said the farmer, "as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my favorite mule, into the trailer and was driving her down the highway when this huge semi-truck and trailer ran the stop sign and smacked my truck right in the side. I was thrown into one ditch and Bessie was thrown into the other. I was hurting real bad and didn't want to move. However, I could hear old Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew she was in terrible shape just by her groans. Shortly after the accident a Highway Patrolman came on the scene. He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning so he went over to her. After he looked at her he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes. Then the Patrolman came across the road with his gun in his hand and looked at me. He said, “Your mule was in such bad shape I had to shoot her. How are you feeling?”


A Mexican man becomes an instant millionaire after winning the lottery.
With his newfound wealth, he decides on exactly what he will buy. He buys a 20 acre plot of land in Mexico and hires an architect.
"I want mi casa to be built right there, with big columns in front, and a marble foyer, and at the end of the hall I want a halo statue." The architect, excited about making mega bucks off this man, jots down exactly what the Mexican wants, “I’ll do it sir, I'll make this a fine house for you!"
All the plans are made and the architect starts construction. He searches six different countries to find exquisite columns for the front of the house and has marble shipped in from France to line the foyer.
The only problem he has is that he cannot locate a halo statue. Knowing that religious symbols are important to many Mexicans, he continues to search high and low for month after month. The house is finally complete, but alas, the architect was never able to locate a halo statue.
Swallowing his pride for not being able to complete the order, he takes the Mexican to see his new home.
"Si Senor!" exclaims the Mexican. "You got da columns in front of mi casa!" The architect smiles. They enter the house and the Mexican notices the marble floor. "Wonderful! I love mi new marble floor Senor!" states the Mexican as he wanders down the hall. He reaches the end of the hall and looks puzzled.
"Senor? Where is my halo statue?" asks the Mexican. "Well, sir, I'm afraid to have to tell you this, but I searched high and low and just could not for the life of me figure out what a halo statue is, much less find one for you anywhere," says the architect, hanging his head in shame.
"What? You don't know what a halo statue is?"
"No, sir, I'm sorry, I do not know," replies the architect.
"You know," says the Mexican, "it's that thing that goes 'ringy dingy' and you pick it up and say, 'halo? statue?"


On the last day of kindergarten, all the children brought presents for their teacher.
The florist's son handed the teacher a gift. She shook it, held it up and said, "I bet I know what it is — it's some flowers!"
"That's right!" shouted the little boy.
Then the candy storeowner's daughter handed the teacher a gift. She held it up, shook it and said, "I bet I know what it is — it's a box of candy!"
"That's right!" shouted the little girl.

The next gift was from the liquor storeowner's son. The teacher held it up and saw that it was leaking. She touched a drop with her finger and tasted it. "Is it wine?" she asked.
"No," the boy answered.
The teacher touched another drop to her tongue. "Is it champagne?" she asked.
"No," the boy answered.
''What is it?"
"A puppy!"


A game warden sped up to a man peacefully fishing in his boat where a sign read "No Fishing."
"Don't you see the no fishing sign?" asked the game warden.
"Yes, I see it," the man said calmly.
"Do you know I can fine you for breaking the law?" the warden asked angrily.
"But sir, I am not breaking the law," the man declared.
"If you are not fishing, then what are you doing?" the warden asked sarcastically.
"Well, I am teaching my worm how to swim!"

goddess of snow loving and playful, though a bit

Which goddess or magic are YOU?(Anime pics)plz rate
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Nick is interested in you....
he is from my RO fanfiction... and he is older
brother of Joey who is pretty shy and
he loves showing off and hanging out with new
people... he would be a little pervert but he
will care for you if you are in big trouble
with his sword.....(he is a knight in RO)
well congrats......^O^

@Blind date with one of my fanfic boys@(girls only; results with anime pics)
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