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Birthday
• 1989-08-16
Gender
• Female
Location
• "The Agribusiness Capital of the World"
Member Since
• 2007-01-05
Real Name
• Charlie

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• Bakuretsu Tenshi, Bleach, Blood+, D.Gray-Man, Death Note, FLCL
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• Learn to be more appreciative.
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• Emasculating the masculine.




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Sunday, January 27, 2008

"Man Up, Charles"
A sinking feeling has set itself into the middle of my chest.

My parents and I were sitting around the TV, watching old Twilight Zone DVD's and the first story we watched was called, "A Pitch For The Angels". The old guy (Who the story was based around) tells this man that he was born in 1880..

Keep in mind this blog isn't about the old guy;
It's about me..
'cause I'm quite the self-centered one when it comes to my blogs.
Have you noticed? I have.
It bothers me but I guess it can't be helped.

Anyway, so my step dad begins going on about how the story was set in the 1950's (thus making the main character about 70) and then asked, "Bony was born in 19..90?"

I corrected him, "..'89" As if it were even a big difference.

Then he thought about it for a moment and said to my mom off-handedly, very off-handedly, "She might last 'til like..2050. Huh?"

And that's when the sinking feeling started.
The fact that he had just estimated my lifespan
--Though not to scare me or be cruel--
had caused this extremely uncomfortable sensation inside me.

I mean, I'm not afraid.
(Haha I'm sure all of you just thought, "Right..")

It's just that when the topic of death comes up--
Well I mean..

Shit my thoughts are all scattered. Blah.

Everyone, I'm sure, can picture themself --At least somewhat, or even have an idea of what they want to be like-- when they are older.

I can't.
Not because I'm afraid of getting old or don't want to get old.
My older self-image just doesn't exist at all.

So.. I'm basically having a feeling that I won't be in about five years or so.

I'm not exactly sure why either.
Hahah..

It's fine, though. Whether it is possibly true or not. When the time comes, it won't matter. The only thing really bugging me is the said 'sinking'.

I'm having trouble shaking it off.
And I'm wondering what 2014 will be like.
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