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Wednesday, June 13, 2007


Keeping Up With The Joneses
Andrew's just informed me that his brother Jesse, who has been seeing two different women for the past month (because he is such a pimp), has gotten his second galpal pregnant. She’s been calling frequently for the past week trying to get a hold of him and he’s not calling her back. Way to take responsibility for your own actions, Mr. I’m-a-26-year-old-parolee. No, it didn’t take me long to come up with that name at all. I would have thrown in “who lives with his mom” but that would have been too much.

Anyway, back to what I was saying. Ewe, That’s so sad but who told the girl to let some guy like that in her pants in the first place right? I mean, how do you fail to notice the big “Hi. I’m fresh out of jail and I have no job,” sign hanging over his bald, tattooed head?

Yes, I sound mean and I’m totally bashing Jesse but I don’t like guys who do that. …Which would be most of the male specimen populating this planet, but that’s just really not freaking cool. Yes I said, “freaking.” I’m working on cursing less if you haven’t noticed. And Jesse owes me five dollars! I want that five dollars back.

Andrew: Yeah, Skank has been calling non-stop for Jesse and she told my mom it was urgent. (We don’t know the girls’ real names. :x)
Me: Wait which one is Skank again?
Andrew: The newer one.
Me: The cuter one?
Andrew: …Well she’s cute compared to the other girl.
Me: Oh right.
Andrew: Mhm. She says she’s pregnant and Jesse’s ignoring her calls.
Me: See, Delilah, that’s why I said not to let any boys stick their peepers in your bajingo. They’ll get you pregg0rz and then stop taking your calls.
Andrew: *Girly voice*……But they always promise to pull out!

But seriously, I do feel bad for Skank. She was the nicer of the two. She was actually polite too! The other girl, every time I was over there, would be sprawled out on the couch eating or watching TV like it was her own house.

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