Wednesday, May 30, 2007

   wwooo yeah i know this is crazzzyyy!!!
i'm on probation since like halloween.

thats why i haven't been on here in sssooo long today & maybe tommorow is my last chance to sneek on the internet after that it'll probably be months or years before i get back to every sorry if i every no any of you acted like a jerk.

i'm lil more mature now.

i'm 16 & in foster in Duluth skyline.
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Saturday, October 28, 2006

   i had to call 911 inorder to go to the hospital last night.
you know how i was put in a Psychiatric Hospital on October 17,2006 about 9PM Tuesday and stayed there for 8 days but i started to get sick 2 days before i was leaving the hospital because the Psychiatric hospital is what made me sick.and so so i've been sick since the 23 and so that means i've been sick for 5 days.3 days after leaving Psych Ward is when i started to get sicker.so yeah last night when i was trying to sleep because i was ssoo tired i couldn't sleep because i was to sick to sleep i mean come ooonnn who can sleep when your head is burning up and your coughing.and so i layed for a lil longer and finally decided to ask my dad is he can take me to the hospital but he wouldn't so Ha Ha mother fucker i took matters into my own hands and called 911.^-^but ofcourse i didn't say anything on the phone i just hung up but for some reason when you hang it still rings--__--hhmm now i know inorder to stop the police from calling back is to take all the phones off the hook and/or unplug them .

HeHe i really didn't know that police do that with phones because i'm not used to calling 911 because i never needed to and so how the hell was i suppost know they still still be calling you even if you hang up.and there like thre phone in are house.

so yay just because i called 911 dad had to bring to the hospital but fuck he had the nerv to lie to the cops and say that he was going to take me and Me calling 911 was unneccisary witch is so a big fucking lie because he wasn't going to take me.

so yeah all in all it's good that i called 911.because once i got there they gave Ibuprofen witch made me feel so much better.no more High Fever.

i went to the Mora hospital ^-^thats where i was born to.

i got docter:Terry Johnson....he was cute and a fag at the same time ^_____^i could so see him get raped because he was acting all babish just because i called him a asshole and he went and took it all offensively.....-____-and then he had the nerv to call me inmature for something i said i can't remember why he said something was inmature witch is a fucking laugh most fucking people think i'm very mature and i know i'm mature because i know what mature and i have been around people who aren't mature SSSSOOOOO FUCK THAT DOCTER TO HELL!!!!!
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Thursday, October 26, 2006

   Hey Guess What?
i just went to public school today and try to get inroled and so i did a reading test and then a math test last to see where i'm at in education.

and sssoo i have to like wait a hole week before they can get all of that figured out from my two lil tests i did.

and so yeah! i'll be going to public school in like a week and i wont ever get taking out again by my dad.
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Wednesday, October 25, 2006

   i'm back from being committed for 8 days so hhhhiiii did u miss me?
man i feel so week and sick from being in that bad lock up place.please read this post to really undrstand whats going on with me.

i hope i get to go into foster care after this.but me and my dad don't know the answer to that yet so stay tuned.-_-omg that was so gay sorry #_#.



http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychiatric_hospital there now that will give you a fuckig clue what the Psychiatric hospitals are for.-__-you wont like it especially from the extra info i'll be giving you.

ok i'm not sure if Wikipedia gives this info that i'm going to give you or not.but anyways you can be put in Psychiatric hospital from just being suspected of being suicidal and i did not know that and really i'm not suicidal but it's hard to explain shit to thoughs fuckers who like to committ you.

and so you may not know this but people get put in a psychiatric hospital when they don't even need to be.and so you get put on a 72 hour hold and shit like that.and let me tell you if you are ever being comitted when you don't even need to be just because thoughs fuckers think you need to be in there it will fuck you up to be in that hospital because it's painfull to get locked up when you don't even deserve it!!!!

they put me in the Psychiatric hospital on tuesday of last week around 9 PM.i thought saying i would get suicidal if i had to live with my dad until i was 18 would put me in foster care and public school alot faster but it didn't and i didn't know better i didn't think doing that would put me in a Psychiatric hospital but now i know better and from now on theres no fucking way i'll get put in that fucking hospital hold again because now i know what not to do that would put me in there.

and if you ever get committed by some one you have to lie your way out of there...because thoughs fuckers play mind games with you just to keep you in there longer so they get more money.


and don't worry they don't put the mentallly illed people with the ok kindof people because that would be dangerous.so yeah if you do go to that hospital the only good thing about it is you get to have art class and make cool new friends.because with my experience of being in a Psychiatric hospital is that you will find alot of people there just like you and it's cool for that part anyways.

but let me tell you this to ,you so will not like being put in a Psychiatric hospital some where in the south like Missouri and/or Arkansas because OMFG they are way worse then the Psychiactrics in the north like Minnesota.


i'll explain more later.sorry if this may think i'm a mental case but really i'm not i hope i explain it good enough of the real reason why i was put in there.

i had to be there for 8 hole days every since tuesday of last week.around 9:PM


but the cool part was because they didn't have any room for me i had to go in a adult unit so that was kindof funny.the adults there got exited and also thought it was hylarious that i got put in with the adults cause holy fuck man i am 15 and the adults there are around 20's,30's,40's and even past that believe it or not.but when i was there.there was only like 4 old people to old guys and 2 old ladies and then the most of the other patents in that unit area where in their 20's and afterwerds a few more new people got in there and so there was one girl who was 17 and one who was 16 and so then i wasn't the only one under age on that adult unit.^-^unit = Psychiatric Hospital incase you didn't know that.


this Minnesota Psychiatric hospital was way better then the one i had to go to in Missouri so i was happy about that.the one in Missouri was like a year ago when i first got commited and now this time it was in minnesota *THANKGOD*


but yeah all in all i just got punished for trying to get help.T__Tit wasn't my fualt because i totally did NOT KNOW BETTER!!!!

how fucked up is this man a poor girl like me just trying to get into public school and then i fucking get ended up in a Psichi Hos for 8 hole fucking days-____-fucking balls man!Life is evil and cruel i want to just cry but we all know i can't even do that....,_,
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Monday, October 16, 2006

   Gah ! WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ok you know when some one is deleting their GB comment on your profile after they get to know you better and then they relize they don't like you at all and FUCKING DELETE THEIR GB POST EEERRR WTF IS UP WITH THAAAT?

and when you look at your GB again it's one or 2 GB entries shorter O.o.....seriously that is so irrating please don't do that on my site. if you don't like me deleting your entry really isn't going to do anything so just fracking leave it there alrighty then?

RIGHT ^ ----- ^ RiiiGHT!!!
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   .........................
i might diiie soon you never know because i am suicidal.

the only thing that would stop me is if i could go to foster care,go to public school and have the foster perents help me alot on how to live on my own.

ttss is this asking to much?
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   i had this suicidal thinking one night.
i was thinking about actrually walking on the train brigde and comit suicide...but then i started crying over it because i know i'm to week and pathedic to ever even try to do that.

the only thing that doesn't scare me and/or bother me in any witch way is shooting myself in the middle of my forhead...then that way no one can save me again from death.

i would so love to do it while i stand up on the tran tracks and fall down into the water once i shoot myself in the head....BUT WHERE THE FUCK AM I GOING TO GET A GUN?

HeeHee if i lived in New York or one of the big cities in MN i could so much get a gun alot easier from some one.

i don't want to wait long enought o get a gun liscence man that would take to long.
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   you should of seen the way i was acting....i was really geting fucker over how they where reacting to this.
NO FUCKING WAY THIS STUPID!!!
OK I NEED TO DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIE!

ok you know how me and my friends where at the park last night and so before they left they told me i should really try and go to school tomarow morning and ride the bus with them and they will come to the office with me to explain to them whats really happening with me because i'm put as home schooling right now and...well me and my friends really want me to go to school.but my clock was set wrong a lil and i was up stares findung my nail polish but i took to long at doing that and once i came down stares to get ready it WAS FUCKING 7:20AM MAN IT WAS TO LATE TO GO ON THE BUS WITH MY FRIEND CHRISTINE!!!

so i missed the fucking bus! right r you following? and well so i decided to just walk to school and try to get my friend there but i don't know her last name so i couldn't and i couldn't explain to them about whats happening with out her with me helping me and so they would believe me more.


i cried a few times especially when i had to walk back home in the rain..............-_-but before i went home i went to the ALC it's another high school next to the real school and so i thought they would help better.and i was right she did help me way more and it was because i got it out of me what was wrong even though my body was in O.OPANIC crazy mode.O.OAAAHHH!!!!!

^_____^well and so i got some ladies phone # to call tomarow because she said she had to find out about what the laws r about what iu'm doing because i'm put as home schooling but i'm not schooling at all and so i'm 15 and so it's the law i have to school..

i just hope this all works out before i turn 16 because my dad has been threatening me that he is going to drop me out of school.once i'm 16 ofcourse so yeah.

you can say my liiife is fucking me over.

it's all because of my dad i really wish i could go in foster care.

i want to kill that school guy because he was treating me like a jerk and so he didn't wait long enough for me to try and tell him whats wrong.EEEERRR HES A STUPID FUCKER!!!MUST DDDIIIIIEEEE!!!!

Current Mood: my soul is in so much pain
Current Music: Soft music,Enya,Enigma,Vast
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   O.o itching all over..WTF IS WRONG!!
this time i'm going to be at my friends house right away before the bus comes so wish me luck for tomarow morning anyways.



not only do i have to go to the public school again for help but i also have to call the lady tomarow.

ssooo aaahhhh.

i hope the public school people no more on what to do then the fucking lady from the ALC did.

damnit.....something is making me itch all over and it's weird because it's not fleas so maybe it was something from the public school thats making me itch so weirdly and it's also weird that i'm mostly itching at one spot on my back but it's like it travled threw my hole body now but i don't have any bight marks.

i so must of got it from leaning up agaisnt the walls in the school.


i gotta take a shower.

eerr maybe it was the rain that is making me itch.

but i feel like lil things are crawling on my skinOOO___OOOOAAAHHH ok i really got to take a shower now before i scream to death.
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   aaahhhhh i'm so aahh!!!! PLEASE READ THIS!!! O___O NOW.....
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=118236329&MyToken=06295663-83b0-476a-a3cf-70862bece9f5

i gave him pictures yay LOL alot of newbies wait a long time before they figure out how to put photos up so ha ha since i had his email and email password i did all the shit for him you know because i had to make him a D/A account and so he let me.

i so like him hes cool.

yay go Chris,Christine,Brenda AND JANNIFER!!!!!!

their liike the only friends i have right now....-_-well i am friends with my lil girl neighbor i think but her perents don't really like me i think ssooo blah!

i might not be on for awhile because theres going to be some trouble happening around me because of my hole schooling thing.i'm going to public school tomarow in the morning with my friends up to the office to tell them what my dad is doing because i really love public school and so yay i know this is going to work i hope it does.
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   hey listen up!!!! III MIGHT BE GOING TO PUBLIC SCHOOL AGAIN YAYS!!
my friends want to to go to school to so badly and so they said they will come with me to the office and tell them what my dad is doing.

because my dad wont put me in public school ever again even though i really want to and he knows i hate home schooling with him because he is such a bad teacher but yet he plays it on to me thats why when i was 13 i refused to do any home schooling so yeah i'm still refusing it untill i get put in public school MAN he should of never tooken me out because it's been fucking me over with the hole not schooling for fucking years i'm 15 now and my dad is threatening me that he will drop me out of school once i'm 16 but i don't want to drop out because i love public school *CRYS* wish me luck i'm sure i will win especially with my friends sticking up for me.d;) tears i have friends wweee!!


XD
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