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Thursday, November 6, 2003


   Anime Theory Number One
Anime features all sorts of styles and colors of hair, anyone who's ever glimpsed any anime show on TV can tell you that. But, have you ever noticed that so many anime characters have hair that somehow is naturally spiky, floofy, or has some other unique way of defying the laws of gravity? Well, here is my attempt to explain this strange phenomenon.

Brought to you by the Ketchup Advisory Board, and by Powdermilk Biscuits...
Anime Theory Number One: Hair!

The gravity-defying behavior of anime hair can be explained by the fact that anime hair naturally grows upward, unless inhibited by weight, clothing, or gel. This is demonstrated by the following exhibits:

Exhibit 1: Vash the Stampede, of Trigun
Notice the spikyness of the hair. It's blonde and it clearly isn't gelled, because it seems to have plenty of fun blowing around naturally in the wind and doing pretty things like that. And yet, it's spiky! No gel, and yet wonderful spikyness.

Exhibit 1A: Younger Vash the Stampede
Remember cute little child Vash? With the looong, blonde hair? Note that when Rem cut it short, all she had to do was comb it up to make it stand up. There is no evidence of gel being used to spike it up at any point in time.

Exhibit 1B: Vash the Stampede as Ericks
The "Ericks" version of Vash had longer hair than the ordinary red-coated spiky-headed Vash, which sort of flopped over. And yet, when Lina cuts it shorter, just as when Rem cut his hair early on in his life, there is no gel or anything needed to make it stand up - a bit of combing, and it seems to return to its usual spikyness.

Exhibit 2: Spike Spiegel, of Cowboy Bebop
Notice the poofiness. This is not, I say, the poofiness of a deliberate afro, or the kind of poofiness that it takes hours of... well, poofing, to attain. If you watch the series, you will notice, this man does absolutely nothing to his hair. There is no evidence of him making an effort to attain any certain looks, and he certainly doesn't use gel to make it stay how it is.

Exhibit 3: Edward Wong Hau Pepelu Tivrusky 4th, from Cowboy Bebop
Ed's hair is quite similar to Spike's (albeit it's orange), and seems to follow the same principals. It's never really cared for, yet it remains so wonderfully floofy. In addition, no matter how long she keeps those goggle things on her head, her hair shows no sign of being affected.

Exhibit 4: Kenshin Himura, of Rurouni Kenshin
That is some seriously FLOOFY hair that this man has going on. Despite it's length, it still manages to be rather puffy; I think the whole world aught to be thankful that he keeps it tied back with something or other, or it might be able to devour a whole person or two. Watch out.

Let it be noted that in the early stages of this theory, it may have been thought that anime hair actually is not responsive to gravity at all. This is not true - evidenced in both Exhibits 1A and 1B, as well as the following.

Exhibit 5: Rem Saverem, of Trigun
Notice how long her hair is. Quite long, and it also fails to defy gravity. This led to the inference that anime hair is affected by normal physics, especially because Rem clearly does not use gel to keep her hair from spiking or floofing - it blows around in the wind and seems to act much as non-gelled hair ought to. What keeps it from floofing? It's weight - thus, affected by gravity.

Exhibit 6: Kaoru Kamiya, of Rurouni Kenshin
Kaoru's hair exhibits much the same characteristics as Rem's hair in the above example - it's long and heavy, which prevents it from floofing.

Exhibit 7: Chi, of Chobits
Long, long, long, LONG hair going on in this example. Clearly, it is of sufficient length to prevent any floofing or spiking. It also may be possible that Persicoms intentionally have hair that is less prone to sticking up.

So, then, how do other characters without significant amounts of hair keep theirs from turning into rabid balls of fluff or giant masses of spikes? The secret of short and sleek anime hair: hair gel. On to the examples!

Exhibit 8: Meryl Strife, of Trigun
Observe not only the shortness and the neatness, but also the unnaturally shininess of this woman's hair. How does she keep it from floofing or spiking? Liberal amounts of gel, which also accounts for the unusual shininess.

Exhibit 9: Vicious, of Cowboy Bebop
Here's a man with rather strange hair. It's rather chunky at first glance, not to mention that it doesn't floof or spike. The reason for all of this is, again, great amounts of hair gel. I think it's possible that in his youth he may have applied it improperly; notice how his hair is all clumpy and stiff?

However, there do seem to be a few exceptions to the theory here. Going on...

Exhibit 10: Faye Valentine, of Cowboy Bebop
Short hair, and yet it doesn't spike or floof. I have two possible explanations, and these might also work together in some way. First, I think her hair is too thin to really do much except let it hang like she does; second, I think there must be some special anime hair shampoo that prevents floofing. I bet it's expensive, but it seems to do wonders... I want hair like that.

Exhibit 11: San, of Princess Mononoke
San's hair, though it seems to be a little fluffy, isn't nearly to the extreme that some hair often is. It's possible that moisture in the outside air keeps it from getting too poofy.

Thus, Anime Theory Number One: Hair! is now concluded. I want your comments, so my theory may become more refined, and fun things like that.


(My sincerest apologies to Prairie Home Companion and National Public Radio >.<; I looove youuuu! Don't sue meeee!)



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