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• 1989-09-23
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• some world among the stars
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• 2005-06-03
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• master of the keyblade
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• let me get back to you

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Achievements
• Mastering the keyblade and ubtaning the crystal keyblade and being able to weild keyblade lighsabers, able to write universal romance potrey
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• Nezariha brained washed me (what do you expect)
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myOtaku.com: ApprentiWizzard


Tuesday, November 20, 2007

   hating myself. (be ready for a long post)
hey everyone. sorry that i haven't posted in a while. trying to get over my phase of depression myself and now i'm fine, just hating myself. most of you are like "what?? but that is a bit depressing." well you not me. let go back to the begining of last month, the 5th to be exact. the night before my homecoming dance i had a dree me and my friend kizu (to respect him and not use his real name) where making out on my bed. then my mom needed me for some thing and called me out when it was getting good. that day at work i could no get that dream out of my head until i had gotten home and ready for the dance. that monday he came "out of the closet" and said that he was bi the next day i cam out too. in the same week i asked him out. blah blah blah drama for the next 4 weeks. then holloween night after trick and treating i had three dreams, one about new lockes in our school and the fask they where wood laminite cursing out the princible for moving my locker to a trash can and getting it back. the next dream was kizu and our friend kate (not her real name) i went to talk to them yelled their name louder at the top of my lungs and the did not turn around. then in the school it started to snow. then last thursday i find out that two weeks ago they started going out. two days after the dream. the third i can't seem to remember but i know that it involved kizu. then two weeks ago this friday i had a dream that there was trouble with kizu and his past and that he was moving to port huron, then tuesday him and his mom filed a lawsuit against his dad. then last friday i dreampt that my friend aya and her boy friend were going on a dat him and i where going to pick her up from my house. we went to the street of her lovers. i was onthe left and he was on the right if you were to face us. we were talking about some thing that i can't recall then my arm went over his shoulder and i went to kiss him and i hit the corner of his lips on the right. the we went to his house were his dad gave him three dollors for him and aya to go on a date at the fair that was at the school next door. we walked then returned to his house and those two started to make out. still trying to figure out what this dream means. as you can see the other have told me in some way of events that have happened. then last night i was half asleep and i started to feel as if a spiritual entity was entering my body. my musles were tense. then slowly started to relax. the strange dream that i had was my scool had a second pool that they use it was also a place that i dreamed of before. the poll was locked off but i some how was able to enter i splashed the water then more water begane to emerge and the room was about to be filled a small boy with brown mushroom cut hair apeared and thats when i woke up in a half sleep. i also been able to tell when my friends or people that i am emotionaly atachet to are hiding something. i don't knkow what to do any more. i fell in love with kizu,and after his words from an argument that we had hit me like dagger in my heart some thing shattered, there is an air of acwardness and i'm still have feelings for him, i'm trying to forget but some thing doesn't seem right. my mother thought i was going to kill myself, and i almost punched a friend of mine be cause i gave him an aditude be cause me and a friend are trying to get ready for scolastics and he said in reply sorry that i have a sence of humar. you don't need to get an aditude just because you can't get with kizu. the thing is i'm trying to forget. it not my falt that destainy had us meet and we to lern something frome each other. kizu had a party over the weekend he invited a few friend, fluffy, yumi, cho, and his girlfriend that i know of and no one showed up. i wanted to say so badlly that he should think of who would con who can come and not just invited people at random. but i respect him to much and i don't want to drive a dagger into him like he did to me. he also might think of it as me pushing toward him and not backing off like he asked. so i have a gift my pshcic abilities are awakening (runs on my moms side of the family in verious degrees) i,m happy with my life, the only thing is that my only two relationships did not go so well so i'm going for guys for a while. the only thing is i need to find one. any sugestion on how to relive this stress in a efecient way or how i'm going to tell my dad because he is the only one in my house hold that doesn't know? happy thanks giving.
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