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myOtaku.com
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• Click Here
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Gender
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Female
Location
• Um...Basically wherever there's a Borders or Barns and Noble
Member Since
• 2007-02-24
Occupation
• Dog walker! and um...horse rider! xD
Real Name
• My secret! Aki is my internet name.
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Achievements
• Getting 1st place in a Walk/Trot Class!
Anime Fan Since
• Can't really remember, I've always loved Anime!!
Favorite Anime
• POKEMON and BEYBLADE!!! Also, Wolf's Rain, InuYasha, Saint Seiya (aka Knights of the Zodiac), Saiyuki, Prince of Tennis, Bleach, Yu-Gi-Oh (Original and GX), Naruto, Fruits Basket, Saiunkoku Monogatari and LOTS OF OTHERS! XD
Goals
• To meet all my online friends in person!
Hobbies
• Tennis & horse back riding
Talents
• Drawing, writing, cooking, sewing
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Monday, October 15, 2007
Hi ppl. I stayed home from school today, wasn't feeling too well, but I think I'm going tomorrow. Argh, I've got absent work to do (//_TT) I HATE absent work.
Thank you all for wishing me better. But in truth I'm not feeling better. It all started back when I was in 3rd grade (anime rocks 1994, if you're reading this, you know what happened), and I was practically everyone's friend, and then I guess one of my good friends was jealous of me and began to tease me, and make me look like a bad person.
At first I was oblivious, but eventually I figured out what was going on. So I told the teacher (How naive am i?) and she said she was going to do something about it. Never did anything. I had to breakdown in front of the recess teachers, and my 3rd grade teacher just to show them how bad it was. And I'm still sort of resentful towards my friends (I'm sorry anime rocks 1994 but I am), because, they believed all that crap! And they ignored me, and me being more mature then a average 8 year-old, I wanted to hurt them badly, but I forgave, but I didn't forget. (The resentful person is here...)
The same thing happened in fourth grade, except it revolved around a new girl taking my place in our friends group (GAH! THAT WAS MAKING ME SUPER MAD!!!!!!!!!!). So I was nasty to her, and VERY resentful. I guess I was doing that because I was jealous. So when fifth grade hit, I withdrew from the world. I found new friends, and chatted to them, but I was somewhat cold.
Little did I realize what I did. I shut myself from the world, and this year, I'm realizing what it's doing to me. Right now I'm a depressed person, and it got worse when I had my surgery in May. So I'm basically a person that wears a fake smile to please the world, when really I have a messed up emotion trailer and thinking about suicide and wondering how everyone would miss me (besides my family) if I died.
*Takes breath* Okay, I'm not really thinking of suicide, but it's something that floats in one ear and out the other. I don't really know why I spilled my guts out, but PLEASE refrain yourselves from gossping about this. I trust you guys to keep it a secret. Please, please don't breath this a word to anyone. I trust you all, don't break it. I'm broken enough.
~Suicide is a path, a cowardly path that is~
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