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Wednesday, July 12, 2006

I know, I know, I haven't been posting on MyO, but it's not my fault I forget to check here. Anyways, I'm bored out of my mind and there's nothing new, except that I get a faster computer! I'm happy because of that and that's all I got. Bye!
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Friday, June 9, 2006

I'm tired
I'm tired of being me, I'm tired of being sad, I'm just tired of everything. My friend and I started to talk about our lives and what we did and thinking about what I did just made me want to say I'm sorry to myself because what I did back then just ruined my life now. I was stupid and I still am because I keep choosing stuff that keeps blowing up in my face. I chose to hurt guys and make then get buises larger than my head, I chose to be who I am now and I still complain about my life. To me I sound like a spoiled brat.

So in the conversation I was having with my friend I start telling her stuff like when I was in elementary school that I would become this great person that didn't have a trace of her elementary past in her. I was wrong, I tried to be nice, I tried to not get angry, I tried long and hard, but no one would let me. I think it was more I wouldn't let myself but then that wouldn't make sense, or would it? I don't know who I'm going to be or what, I don't even know what I want from life anymore.

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Thursday, June 8, 2006

Deleting Post and Such
It's amazing I just deleted all my posts for two years. Two years of posting is gone...Oh well what I posted wasn't important and I got back on this account because I forgot the email and password to that one.

So last night I'm just on the internet doing nothing and I decide to IM my friend who just got on. Then she wanted to call me so I called her instead because I didn't want my family to hear the phone ring because they were all asleep. Anyways so she tells me what happens and I can't believe what happened and it involved another person. So knowing me I go talk to that one person (who shall stay nameless). Then we get into a deep weird conversation and I'm still talking to my friend on the phone. Everythings all mess up and I'm feeling my friend's feelings for her. Don't ask... We have like this mind-link anyways. So while I was trying to help the nameless person I started going corny and stay stuff like, I can't help you it's gotta come for your heart yadayadayada. So after I'm done talking to the I wanted to go crawl into the ocean into it's darkest cave into it's corner under a rock under seaweed and cry and die too.

Now it's morning and I want to help them but I know that if I try anything I'll just mess things up because that's what I do. I'm the girl that can only stay compassionate for a few moments. I wish I could be more like the girl I was last night but I can't. For one thing I was tired of life already, I was and still is on my period, and I was feeling my friends feelings for her. Oh to top it all off a guy that I was talking to last night also was pissing me off so I got a little touchy and now I won't talk to him. So my little box of friends is falling apart. And now I'm going to go and find some depressed icons that shows my mood and I'll randomly post one on here later.

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