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myOtaku.com: Angel Zakuro

Saturday, July 31, 2010

I needs more self-esteem.
Hey, thanks Roleni, wallie, corn, Raisha, and faroe for all the comments! ^_^ You're all awesome. *hugs* More comments here on myO than on theO! Wow, that's weird. XD

*copies and pastes from theO*
But really. Where is everyone? :O I know I did a little rant before about how little people are commenting these days on art...but what about posts? What's the point of all my subs if I get 3 comments or less? Lol. There are so many good friends I haven't heard from in a long time. Not just through comments, but through any other means of communication on here! :/ I mean...it's the summer...unless everyone's on trips. Sure, people don't have to comment all the time, and I know my posts are annoyingly long...but really? I just feel unloved! ^^; I remember the old days on myO when it was a hoppin' happenin' place. I mean, posts would get 10+ comments. I remember there was a time when people were so active that it was almost a contest to see who could get the most comments lol. I remember my most was almost 30! 20-something. And all different people. Yeah, wow. Now...I only hope to get maybe 3-4 different people commenting. XD It's kinda sad. Not say that's the only reason I post or whatever...but it's awfully nice to get recognition in some way...[for those of you on myO, this is mostly a complaint about theO, the new site]

But thank you guys that have been commenting. *hugs* You're all awesome. And to the friends I hardly here from: I just miss you, that's all. I'm not mad...just a little lonely! XD

Here's my new card. I really like it a lot. <3 Yes, I could've worked on my wallpaper, but I didn't want to. Cards are just more fulfilling to me now. Less canvas to work with, less time to make them, yet I feel like I can be more creative with them.

I'm happy to say that more people have entered my Belimai challenge. ^^ I'm loving the entries! Don't forget the challenge ends in a little under a week...so if you want to submit a drawing to it...yeah, gotta get on it. XD

Ok, now that I have those things out of the way. If you saw my other post, I said I've been pretty depressed! Yes indeed. I haven't felt very chipper lately, but yesterday I was just uber down. Down about everything in my life. Today I've been bleh as well, but this time my mind's decided to attack my physical appearance lol. So you know MCSS (the weird allergy thing I have)? Yeah, well I woke up with my face really red ands spotty...looked like I had major acne. ~__~ And I don't know why! I'm really sick and tired of having a red burny face all the time for reasons I don't know. Like what could I react to? D< I looked horrible. And felt horrible. :( And today we were just going out to do a couple things, and I was putting on my pants...only to find they don't fit anymore. Not just one pair but 2. And the second pair I've barely had a year, and they fit fine before; I hardly wore them. The first I've worn a lot, but still. The other week I found out my shorts don't fit. *sigh* So that makes me thinking "OH GREAT I'M GETTING FAT. MY STUPID BIG, FAT BUTT IS GETTING BIGGER." It really pissed me off.

Now, I know I'm not "overweight," and I definitely don't look fat...not from the waist up, but for some reason, my lower half refuses to cooperate. And now I weigh more than I ever have before. It's so stupid. I blame it on my meds cause I always have to take food with them, and my one pill I have to take before going to bed. So that means I'm eating another snack after everything else right before sleeping...that's a recipe for disaster. DX Ugh. And I know I don't exercise much at all, but that didn't affect me before, thanks to my high metabolism. But jeez...now I just feel self-conscious. :(

Anyhoo, we went out today...went to a sporting goods store, Petsmart, and then got lunch. Got McDonald's, and the fries weren't hot at all, so we went back in to ask for a fresh batch. *rolls eyes* Mom and I are standing there waiting...and then I see some of the employees looking our way and whispering, motioning towards us. Gawd. I HATE THAT. I'm sorry, but I get incredibly paranoid when I see people whispering...I always think they're whispering bad stuff about me. And this time, I know I saw them look our way! Who knows what they could've been saying, but that didn't help my self-esteem today. ^^;;;

Yeah, so that was mostly my day. Then homework. Everyday homework. I'm tired of it. Summer's almost over, and I still have my summer classes to do. It's such a bummer. Oh, and my dad is back to nagging on me to get on that internship search...and to teach me how to drive...I don't like being around dad at the moment.

Sorry! Nothing but depressing rants. Well, I had to get this out. Whether you comment or not, fine, at least I'm getting this out of my system. I have to vent my frustrations somewhere. I feel like crap, so I want to shout it to the world! Oh, and the Phillies didn't help my mood out by losing today and yesterday. Lol. Argh. Agh!!!! I need some happiness back in my life! My usual therapist (aka Meg, innocent heart) hasn't gotten to text me very often, lol, so I'm really feeling bleh. I need her help. XD Ah well...hopefully things will get better...

*hugs* Thanks to whoever read this and super thanks to whoever comments. Take care.

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