Monday, January 17, 2005

Now Let Go
Yesterday was my birthday so yea. Thanks to all the nice well wishers, it was really sweet of you :) At around 11:40am Orestes called and wished me a Happy Birthday and asked me what I was doing. Then Karina called and asked me the same thing so it was decided that Orestes would pick Karina and me up, we'd drive to the mall, I'd pick out my gift, we'd go to the movies and then we'd go eat somewhere. So I start getting ready and I'm in the shower showering when quite suddenly I hear the kids screaming and my sister knocking on my door. So I come out and apparently Christine is waiting for me outside. So I open the door, naked ^_~ and she gives me a gift. It's this really nice Crystal thingy that has a fairy inside, you set it up on a lighted platform and it glows the prettiness. She also gave me this really small bamboo plant I'm afraid I'll kill. She says it's impossible to kill bamboo, but it's me so yea :/... Anyhow, she was on her way to work so I thanked her and gave her a nice wet kiss on the cheek and continued getting ready. Orestes and Karina eventually got around to picking me up and we went to the mall. Karina bought me a very cool t-shirt with Stuey on the front. It says, "love to stop and chat but you're a total bitch." It's nice and small too, so it actually fits, unlike most cool t-shirts that are made for fat asses and shit. She also got me a pretty nifty wallet with an old school nintendo controller on the front. It's cool :) We looked around the mall some more after that, but there wasn't much to look at. Some guys stopped us to listen to their CD and give us a flyer for some show of theirs.

Around the time we got out we decided to eat before we went to the movies because I was hungry ::nods:: They took me to this place called Golden Corral, it's like this insane buffet type stuff. People just stuff their faces with no plan to stop. I ate a lot of bread, but I'm very proud to say I didn't throw up. Unlike my dear dear friends Orestes and Karina. He just gorged on Macaroni and Cheese and then suddenly he got up and went to the bathroom. Meanwhile me and Karina decided to put salt in his water, but she put pepper in the salt and ruined the entire thing. There were little black specks floating around the glass. She's like, "he won't notice, people don't look at their drinks while drinking." O_o? So yea, he comes back and he looks at it and then at us and she just starts cracking up and all of a sudden she starts throwing up. So yea, that was pretty freaky. We left a tip and got the fuck out of there.

My sister called me to tell me where the fuck I was. Heh, she called me a traitor or something even though I asked her before I left if I should go. She said it was fine and my mom practically shoved me out the door so yea. They said my dad had bought me a cake and that the boys were waiting for me to get home so they could eat already. So I told them I'd be home after the movie. Well the movie started two hours after we bought our tickets. We snuck in to a couple of movies before 7:50 finally rolled around. We saw In Good Company with Scarlett Johanson. I thought it was really cool, I related to a chunk of it or something heh. Kristie and Christine called me during the movie. So I called Kristie back and we talked some, then I called Christine and we went over to her house. We talked a lot of nonsense and about Karina's wedding. I called my mom and told them I was bringing them over to sing happy birthday because they wanted to go somewhere afterwards. So we went home and sung happy birthday to meeeeeeeeeeee :D. It was fun, my sister threatened to kill her son in front of strangers and we were all cracking up because it was so ridiculous. I changed my pants and we went to the airport to watch airplanes land. There were people having sex in the car next to us, windows all foggy and a random head popping up from the backseat. It was hilarious. So we left and went down to South Beach. We were supposed to get out to walk along the beach and what not but Orestes never stopped the car so yea. Instead I took off my shirt and Christine gave me a massage.

I was a strange mixture of calm and depressed. He sent me another e-mail and I checked it at Christine's house. I don't know, it just made me pretty sad. I don't care anymore, what he possibly has to say about the entire thing. There's no justification in my eyes, just like there's no culpability in his so why argue about it. Why talk about it at all. There's nothing left to do but get over it and whenever I'm over it I'll probably be strong enough to talk to him again, without sounding like some cynical bitter bitch. I know I will one day want to talk to him again, it's the only reason I don't tell him to just never talk to me again. Right now there's nothing he can say that'll make me feel good, everything reminds me of how unhappy I am without him. I... it's so weird. Like this emptiness. Like I sit and I think what's wrong with me. It's not so much sadness, it's just this hollow within me. I think I just need to reconstruct my fourth heart, maybe then I'll be okay heh.

I have to change my avatar on OB because it's offensive to the youngsters :/
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Saturday, January 15, 2005

Good Luck in Your New Bed Enjoy Your Nightmares Hon While You're Resting Your Head
It's real easy to be with the person you can be with. That sure thing, the safety blanket. It's the person you want you should fight for. If anything he ever told me had any semblance of truth then I can at least have the sick satisfaction of knowing that she'll never make him as happy as I could have. I lost him because she was there. She lost him in the first place because I existed somewhere, because, if what he said was true and he says it was, she was nothing in comparison to me. That's a kind of ego boost I think. He's what I want so maybe I'll never be as happy as I could be either, but at least I tried, didn't give the want two months top and then go running back to that sure thing. But I'm a girl and girls always want more than boys do. ::shrugs::
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Friday, January 14, 2005

Like A Halo in Reverse
I did a really poor job of my Math homework, left a lot of it for Wednesday. My head feels extremely swimmy and I'm having trouble forming coherent thoughts. I don't know what I want. I don't want to lose him, is that really stupid of me? It's just so easy to shut people out of your life. I've done it to so many times, heh. Scissoring persons away is a specialty of mine. I'm not a stupid girl, I'm naive but I'm not stupid. I don't forgive. I don't know if it's that I don't know how to, but I never have. I don't take people back; once they're gone, they're gone. I keep thinking the more people I don't deal with, the more people I just lock the door on and never ever form peace with will just make me more bitter and bitter. It's a concious decision, the way I make friends. Relationships don't just happen for me. I mean there's this point where I can stop myself. Where I can just choose not to. Usually, once you're in, you're in. People that have hurt me that I've never spoken to again I still care about a lot. I just don't show it, I guess. I have a lot of pride and already I feel like I've swallowed so much to just let him know that he means the world to me. I hold grudges and I'm trying not to. Or rather I'm thinking about trying not to. I don't know what to do. I swear to God the world is full of people that tell you they're reachable 24/7 and then conflicts like these come up and everyone dissapears into thin air. I guess it's one of those personal do it on your own type things.

Whatever the case, I'm better in a sense. I have better control of the crying and my thoughts aren't as fueled with jealousy and rancor as they were last night. I went to the gym in the afternoon and just went at it, destress heh. I'm quite sore, but it felt nice. Like I was burning away a big chunk of hostility in my chest. I'm talking to Kristie tomorrow because she wants to go to Chicago with me, to visit for a couple of weeks; her, Henry and I, which is weird because if they get back together by that time [which I'm pretty sure they will] they're going to probably want to have sex and I am not listening to that. So yes, hrm... Anyway, I chatted it up with some counselors in some schools and they asked me to come in for interviews and what-not. After talking to Charlie last night, well stuff seemed clearer and yea. I mean in some sense it's wreckless of me, but how many people in life can actually say they did everything they wanted to do when they wanted to do it. And sure it's expensive, but most good things in life are and one should splurge when necessary, right? Right. So during the summer I'm going to Chicago and I want to decide on a specific date as I want to book flights and hotels as early as possible. Things are pretty not good at home so yea. My dad came home completely smashed. I haven't seen him like that in so long, it was pretty freaky. I holed up in my room and hid, what a coward I am -_-;;

You can really tell when someone doesn't love you anymore. They're words aren't as delicate, almost like you've become a nuisance. Brandon used to talk to me a lot like that, back in the day when I still talked to Brandon. But he's gay so what do you expect.
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Thursday, January 13, 2005

Me Falta Todo En La Vida Si no Estas
I didn't go to school today. I felt really sick in the morning, I was so emotionally distraugth it brought me physical pain lol. I couldn't stop crying and my head was pounding and I just didn't want anyone to see me. How really sad and pathetic I am. So I've been in bed the entire day until just a second ago. My eyelids are puffy :/ I'm filling out applications again and getting out of here. I don't understand how I'm supposed to love because it feels like I've been doing it all wrong. My unbridled devotion only comes back to bite in the fucking ass. I don't want to love anybody anymore, I want to stop. I want to be really happy, I want him to love me, but no. I have to help Markus save someone, but who'll save me. No more kidnapper, no more protector of my soul. When my second boyfriend was breaking my second heart he told me I was naive. He was right. Three years, three boys, three hearts. I think I'm gonna go back to bed.
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Wednesday, January 12, 2005

Gauge Away
I'm in school, in the math lab, doing this... I don't have math homework due tomorrow so yea I can procrastinate some. I'll probably end up scrambling to get what I have due on Friday done tomorrow like I did yesterday for today, but it's nice to sit around and not do anything horrible important. Whatever the case I like this better than the computer courtyard because I've got a cubicle of sorts and I don't have to look at anyone or have anyone look at me. I got several less hours sleep today than I did yesterday and somehow that didn't affect me at all. In truth, I'm quite awake and not tired one bit and I only slept four hours. Last time I slept a complete eight and I could barely muster the strength to keep my eyelids open. Weird... I'd be on my way home now if it weren't for the fact that I have to go watch a movie for humanities at noon today. Extra credit which I probably won't need but it's good to be on people's nice side or something. She's leaving to Paris on Friday so there'll be a substitute on Wednesday and apparently there's no school on Monday. I want to go to Paris too ::pouts::

Hrm... Kristie will be giving me a ride home. My mom is pretty mad at me. She asked me for $20 and I "made a face." But I gave her $80 two days ago I let my sister borrow $30 and I had to go buy more school supplies. I even bought toilet paper and stuff for the house. I'm not made of fucking money man, and I don't have a job or a rich boyfriend. Taking into consideration that I have to shell out $12.50 a week to take the metro to and from school she should understand. But she didn't, doesn't and so on. Instead she threw a tantrum and cursed me out and she didn't talk to me this morning. I'm not in the mood to deal with this sort of hostility so yea, I'm ignoring her as well. She didn't even want to drop me off at the station, but she knows she has to or my dad'll get super pissed off. I put on my headphones as soon as I got in the car and she tried blocking them out with shoddy Christian music on tape and I put them on even louder and I know that made her angry and it felt good. I'm horrible, but pfft. Pfft, I say! On Thursday the sugar cane season is over and my dad will be back and she can bug the crap out of him for a change.

I have bought one thing purely because I wanted it and didn't need it. The Deluxe Special Edition 2disc DVD of Leon the Proffesional. It was only $16!! And I love that movie, Jean Reno is one of my most favoritest actors in the world. It was directed by Luc Besson who's brilliant so I just HAD to buy it. They asked me for ID before I purchased it which I thought was odd. Wal*Mart gives a shit I guess. Or doesn't want to get sued again haha. I should stop being bad and do my English homework...
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Tuesday, January 11, 2005

Candle
I went to school today, no Shinamru's available sadly enough. I was pretty much falling asleep the entire day where ever I stood still for more than a fraction of a second so it's possible I may have missed him. I think I'll become his stalker, there's something about someone to stalk that just automatically brightens your day. ::clears throat:: Anyway, Psychology @ 7:00am which was really interesting despite my more than sleepy state. The tid bits I managed to capture, soak in and jot down were nice in my oppinion anyway. He kept tugging on his zipper I noticed which I thought was odd. He's a weird man, he has this caved in kind of mouth and stork like stance. It's amusing and makes the class all the more interesting really. Then Math in which I accidentally kicked a window while stretching [no, I wasn't upside down, they cover the entire wall] and scared the crap out of myself. It was pretty funny, managed to wake me up for a couple of minutes before I just started getting sleepy and all swimmy headed again. When that was over I bought a soda from the vending machines to try and caffeinate my way to un-sleepiness and it got stuck so I spent a couple of minutes smacking that bitch around until it gave me my soda. It did and I drank it and off to English I was. He gave us instructions on how to write in the journal and I actually have to make my first entry about Plate Tectonics and incorporate emotions and feelings into it O_o... He's a weird guy, but I actually don't think it'll be too hard. I had some ideas in the metro and I can actually tie the Bible into the entire thing so I'll do fine heh. I went to the math lab afterward to start accumulating hours. I have to have 30 by the end of the semester or I automatically fail so yes. I should be fine. I got home at around 1:30, ate a sandwhich, took a nap, woke up and did some homework and now here I am.

Tomorrow I'm doing something with Kristie, not sure what, but something. I still miss my man who isn't my man anymore but o well. I've been thinking about it all today a lot, persistantly so. Usually I manage to avoid it until I get to bed and it all just attacks me there. For those who don't know my birthday's on Sunday. I'll be 19 and outside of what I might be getting as presents I'm not excited at all. One more year and I'll be 20 and goodbye teen-hood. I like being small, 20's too big and grown up and no fun. I would have liked to stop at 17, barely legal, hot stuff ^_~ Anyway, yea, birthday and not looking forward to it. I honestly don't think there's too much to look forward to so yea ::shrugs:: Maybe I'll get a nice Happy Birthday from him and at least and I can be like, "Hey, he didn't forget... :)" Maybe... Anyway, if I don't it'll be no surprise because quite seriously NOBODY EVER REMEMBERS. It's just as fine, when I get older and start lieing about my age I can use that to my advantage.
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Monday, January 10, 2005

Quisa Mañana Este Ciego Dios
I'm tired. I woke up around 5:30am to get ready for school and now several hours later I'm all bleh. I have to go to the gym too because I promised myself I would and I'm getting squishy in all the wrong places. I finally cashed my check, it was $563 but I spent $267 on books and I gave my mom $80. I was going to give her $60, but she started getting pissy and I just handed her the $20 to shut her up. I have $206 left and I have to not spend any of it. There's really nothing I want to buy though so that's fine. Tomorrow I'll pass by the post office and ship out some of the letters I wrote ages ago for you guys. They're late, but I'm so pretty you hardly care. I have a bunch of homework due for math on Wednesday. It's not hard, but it's tedious. I had lunch with Kristie at some Greek place, tuna on pita. Was very good ::nods:: And I saw a Shinamaru double in the line at the bookstore. He looked just like him, I mean exactly!! Down to the little beird and everything lol. He kept looking over at me and I just felt like bursting up with laughter in his face. Heh.

Anyway, it's been a fine day. I'm debating between taking a nap now or just going to the gym, working out, showering and then going to sleep all fresh and really really tired. I remember a couple of months ago I tried that and I was falling asleep on the bycicles lol. I'm really not so much sleepy as much as I'm achy all over. I ran all over downtown today and bleh. I'm looking forward to tomorrow though, I have psychology and English and it'll be interesting. We wrote an in class essay the last time I was in English. I don't think I did too good of a job on it, but it was decent and considering that the topic was "Why I'm attending Miami Dade College" what do you expect. I can sum it up in one sentence, it's cheap lol. I managed to churn out five paragraphs though so yea. Psychology is just fun because the proffessor is just one cynical bastard and that's ALWAYS fun. I love how I'm the only one giggling at his jokes though lol. O well ::shrugs:: It'd be funny if they weren't jokes, heh.
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Sunday, January 9, 2005

This Is Sex Without Touching
My hormones... are bad. I'm bad. I've been reading stuff and now I really miss the dirty talk heh. I should have done more, I waited too long and now all I have to look back on is the talking and there could have been so much more. I'm not having sex in a long time, I know that. Torture, but I won't let myself. I was too hardset on it being him and now nobody will ever be upto par. I can't imagine doing anything with anyone else and not thinking that it'd be better if it was him. I should have sneaked up there when I had the chance. I had the chance, once but I didn't take it. I feel so stupid now. Even if I'd known that it'd just fall apart like this, I know I wouldn't have regretted it. My mom wouldn't have noticed, I should have and now I regret that. ::sigh:: This is hard. Living with regret and wanting someone so much. I wish he'd call me, just to tell me that when he touches himself he still thinks of me. I'd be happy... Something, anything. I'm pathetic heh.

I have school and I have home and I have the bass to learn to play. I should keep myself distracted. ::distracts herself::
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Saturday, January 8, 2005

I'm Still Your Fag
Yesterday I got out of class at 9:50 in the morning and as I was getting all ready to jump on the metro mover Christine called me. She was on her way to down town and she wanted to meet up so we could go shopping and stuff like that. So I looked for Kristie so she could show me where the Miami Airlines Arena was at which happened to be like a block or two away from campus heh. So we stood around for a bit on the corner before we noticed Christine's bright blue car and we hauled ass to get in before the light turned green. Very a la hooker if you ask me, heh. We dropped Kristie off at school again, and then we drove through the Design District looking for a thrift store and/or the Miami Dade School Police building. We found the latter and gave up on the thrift store and went back down to Hialeah to pick up Karina instead. I was starving so we passed by McDonalds and I got me $3 worth of food, o yea. Then we took Orestes back home because he had Piano Lessons at 2:00 and it was already 1:30. Afterward Karina, Christine and I headed toward Flamingo Plaza where all the Hialeah thrift stores are at. I told her to make a right, but noooooo, she didn't listen to me and we got really lost lol. So I called my mom and she told us to head toward 10th Ave. We found it and a thrifting we went. I bought nothing because I was broke and Christine didn't find anything she liked and Karina bought a painting. So we drove back to Karina's house and we hung out for a while. Christine said half an hour and it magically became three so yea, heh. We just talked a lot about boys and sex and politics as weird a combom as it is. When Christine finally got around to taking me home I was dead though, I was running on about two and a half hours of sleep. I came home, ate dinner and went to bed at 8:00pm. It was great though, I woke up today at 10:00am very very refreshed :)

Later on I have to go pick up my last pay check, cash it, go back to school and buy the rest of my books. I also am giving my mom $145 so I'm pretty much broke. It sucks, but at least it won't have her on my ass as much. She's driving me insane, nothing new there lol. School is going fine, although I have a lot of homework due on Monday for math and I am in dire need of that damn math book. It's expensive :/ O well.

You know what I miss? I miss Tony, since he's rarely ever on-line anymore my nights are extremely boring. Stupid! ::sticks tongue out at him and his lack of a good internet connection::
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Friday, January 7, 2005

I'm Amazed
God I hate my house and the people living in it. Annoying bastards. I hate how everyone just thinks they can order me around and how everyone just talks shit about me in my face like I'm some sort of dipshit. I'm tired of this bullshit, of everyone's fucking immaturity. I need to get myself out of this situation, now with nothing to look forward to all I think about is innovative ways of killing myself and/or those around me. ::sigh:: Now, to relax myself:

001. What is your name? Sarah
002. Spell your name backwards: Haras
003. Date of birth: January 16th, 1986
004. Male or female? Female.
005. Astrological sign: Capricorn
006. Nicknames: None
007. Occupation? College student.
008. Height: 4'11
009. Weight: A lady never tells -_-
010. Hair color: Dark Brown
011. Eye color: Brown
012. Where were you born? Miami, FL
013. Where do you reside now? Miami, FL
014. Age: 18.
015. Screen names: molotov coktease is all I use now
016. E-mail addy: too long
017. What does your screen name stand for? The woman Brock could never get to third base with
018. What is your lj name? sarah_love
019. What does your Blurty name stand for? Way back when I had a blurty, it was kajet and it was something I made up for a story of sorts.
020. Pets: All dead
021. Number of candles you blew out on your last birthday cake? One of them singing candles.
022. Piercings? I have like wannabe piercings.
023. Tattoo's? Soon ^_~
024. Shoe size: 7.5
025. Righty or lefty? Righty.
026. Wearing: A white t-shirt
027. Hearing: 3 Libras by A Perfect Circle
028. Feeling: kinda sleepy and pissed off
029. Eating/drinking: Nothing at the moment.

~Girls/Love/Kissing/And Other Stuff~
061. Have you ever been in love? I guess I could say so.
062. How many people have you told "I love you"? A lot, but in different sort of contexts.
063. How many people have you been in love with? I'm thinking one
114. Does someone in your family wear a toupee? Nope.
115. Do you have any nieces or nephews? Yea, too many
116. Are your parents divorced? Nope.
117. Do you have step parents? Nope.
118. Has your family ever disowned another member of your family? Yes.
119. If so for what? He was gay, I personally thought he was pretty cool.
120. Did some of your family come to America from another country? Yea, like all of it but me heh.

~Music Stuff~
121. What song do you swear was written about you or your life? I have no idea, there's a lot that are very relatable I guess.
122. What's the most embarrasing cd you own? I have an Enrique Iglesias CD laying around somewhere. In my defense it was a gift.
123. What's the best cd you own? I'd say First Last and Always by The Sisters of Mercy
124. What song do you absolutely hate? That Gasolina song, God how horrible.
125. Do you sing in the shower? Yes
126. What song reminds you of that special someone? There is a Light That Never Goes Out by The Smiths


~Okay, I Name An Artist And You Give A Lyric From Any One Of Their Songs!~
(I have decided that this is stupid, and I will merely give you my opinion on these artists.)
(I don't know any lyrics by these artists so I'll just do what Shin did)
127. Pink: what a dyke
128. Aerosmith: what a bunch of corporate ho's
129. Madonna: what a ho in general :p
130. Korn: I like a couple of songs by them, but I'm not too crazy about 'em
131. Backstreet Boys: they're so hard core 'cuz they're from the backstreets, you better watch your back mothafucker
132. The Beatles: I honestly think they're overrated ::is killed by a legion of angry fans::
133. Sublime: they're ok, but they also annoy me very quickly...
134. J.Lo: Poor J.Lo her only claim to fame is that wonderful Latin booty.
135. Nsync: gay
136. Limp Bizkit: Fred Dursts reminds me of like an angry leprachaun... did I spell that right?
137. Britney Spears: she has man hips ::shrugs::
138. Creed: HE THINKS HE'S JESUS!!!!
139. Enrique Iglesias: I had a sick crush on him when I was in 5th grade, then I noticed the mole and the magic was dead.
140. Good Charlotte: Can you really even call that music? Can you???
141. Christina Aguilera: People are always saying, "she's a skanky ho, but she the girl got a voice." I personally don't think so.
142. Eminem: No thanks, sit down.
143. New Found Glory: Double yuck
144. Kelly Clarkston: I don't even know who that is...
145. Kelly Osbourne: I hate her mouth, it looks like it's melting!!
146. Mandy Moore: She's sooo innocent and nice. I bet you she sucks cock and snorts cocaine AT THE SAME TIME backstage though.
147. Eve: I harbor no hatred.
148. Aaliyah: Death made her this huge phenomenon. She was ok though.
149. Nelly: what's up with the bandaid??
150. Alicia Keys: Me no likey + voice = manly.
151. Incubus: Brandon Boyd is hot stuff ::nods::

~Favorites~
152. Color: Red
153. Food: Tacos
154. Song: Anything by Morrissey and/or Robert Smith
155. Show: I'm thinking the Venture Brothers since it's the only show I watch now, and the OC
156. school subject: English, I guess
157. Band/singer: Robert Smith and/or Morrissey
158. Animal: n/a
159. Outfit: whatever clean and doesn't make me look fat
160. Radio station: n/a
161. Movie: Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown
162. Pair of shoes: I'd say dilapidated converse
163. Cartoon: Venture Brothers?
164. Actor: Ben Kingsley
165. Actress: Franka Potente
166. Potato chip: The Doritos in the Blue Bag
167. Drink: Rasberry Iced Tea
168. Alcoholic drink: None
169. Holiday: El Dia de Los Reyes Magos :p
170. Perfume/cologne: Miracle by L'ancome
171. Pizza topping: Cheese.
172. Jello flavor: Cherry
173. Lunch meat: Smoked Turkey
174. Board game: Scrabble
175. Video game: Super Mario Brothers
176. Website: I don't know
177. Book: Smilla's Sense of Snow
178. Computer game: Solitaire?
179. Number: 7
180. Cereal: Honey Nut Cheerios
181. Comedian: Um, that blonde guy that's an asshole.
182. Dessert: Chocolatey stuff ::nods::
183. Disney character: Malefocent
184. Clothing store: Ross
185. Passtime: Sleeping
186. Teacher: Mr.Walpole
187. Childhood toy: My Little Pony!!!
188. Carnival game/ride: the swings :)
189. Candy bar: Hershey's Almond
190. Magazine: New Type?
191. Salad dressing: Ceasar
192. Thing to do on the weekend: sleep in Orestes' bed
193. Hot drink: Peppermint Cocoa
194. Season: Fall/Autumn
195. Sport to watch: Soccer
196. Person to talk to online: Tony

~Your Bedroom/Sleeping Habits~
197. What color are your sheets? I'm sleeping on the bare matress at the moment.
198. What color are your bedroom walls? White
199. Do you have posters on your wall? Yeah.
200. If so of what? Gundaw Wing, some U2 stuff, more anime etc etc
201. Do you have a tv in your bedroom? no
202. How many pillows are on your bed? One
203. What do you normally sleep in? underpants or nothing at all
204. Describe your favorite pair of pajamas: These flannel ones, but I wear them to go out
205. What size bed do you have? Full
206. Do you have a waterbed/bunkbed/daybed? No
207. Do you have your own phone line in your bedroom? No
208. Do you listen to music while trying to fall asleep? Sometimes
209. Describe the last nightmare you had: I don't remember
210. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? Nope
211. How many people can comfortably sleep in your bed? Two
212. Do you sleep in any unusual positions? Sometimes
213. Do you have to share your bedroom with a sibling? No
214. Do you snore? no.
215. How about drool? No
216. Do you have an alarm clock in your room? yea, on REAL high
217. What color is the carpet in your room? floor?
218. What's under your bed? I have no under my bed, it's directly on the floor

~This or that~
219. beach/mountains: Beach
220. Donuts/bagels: bagels
221. Day/night: Night
222. Wicked witch of the east/wicked witch of the west: West
223. Heaven/hell: Heaven.
224. Make love/have sex: I can't answer this question, it's just too stupid.
225. Coffee/tea: None
228. Britney/Christina: neither
229. Swiss cheese/american cheese: American
230. Real World/Road Rules: Neither
231. Backstreet Boys/*Nsync: Ew
232. Silver/gold: Silver
233. Nike/Adidas: Adidas
234. McDonalds/Taco Bell: Taco Bell
235. Sweet/sour: Sweet
236. Punk/emo: Punk
237. Hot/cold: Cold
238. Winter/summer: Winter
239. Spring/fall: Fall
240. Operas/plays: Plays
241. Read/watch tv: Read
242. Cd's/tapes: CDs
243. Dvd's/vhs: DVDs
244. Old/new: it depends really
245. Shorts/skirts: Skirts
246. Pink/red: Red
247. Colored pictures/black and white photos: again, it depends and most of the time I think black and white photos are overrated heh
248. Meat/vegetables: Meat
249. Mexican food/Chinese food: Mexican
250. Commercials/infomercials: Commercials.
251. Scary movies/comedies: Comedies
252. Bikinis/one piece bathing suits: Bikini
253. Sandals/tennis shoes: Depends on my shoe mood
254. Dogs/cats: either is fine
255. Unicorns/fairies: Fairies.
256. Water/land: water
257. Sugar/spice: Sugar
258. Black/white: Black
259. ribbons/bows: Ribbons
260. Chicken/beef: Beef
261. Colored christmas lights/regular white christmas lights: I like the hanging white lights heh
262. Cars/trucks: Cars
263. Austin Powers/James Bond: Bond
264. Popcorn/pretzels: I hate both
265. Hip/hop: God, what a stupid question!!!!
266. Passionate kiss/peck: Passionate, definately
267. WWE wrestling/real wrestling: Real wrestling because there's always this dooming look that you might see their private parts and that's real drama I think.
268. Back rub/foot massage: Back rub because when people touch my feet I feel really very weird.
269. Picture frames/photo albums: Frames
270. Pens/pencils: I totally read penis, so I pick penis.

~What Is Your Opinion Of The Following~
271. Eminem: eh
272. Virgins: The boys I've been with really liked the fact that I was a virgin, possibly because I was a very dirty virgin... am a very dirty virgin.
273. God: Spiteful, but caring. He's bipolar I tell you.
274. The Osbournes: I don't understand a word any of them say.
275. Reality TV: Lame
276. J.Lo: That girl got a big ol' butt. It's not that big really, I see hispanic woman with buts like that all the time. I have one...
277. Religion: not for me
278. Emo music: I don't think I really even know what emo is
279. Valentine's Day: I've never had a boyfriend on Valentines Day, I'm sad now :(
280. Christina Aguilera's comeback: When did she ever leave? O_o [I'm with Shin on this one]
281. Homosexuals: None of my business, really.
282. Abortion: I'm this weird version of a person that's pro-choice but thinks it's completely wrong ::shrugs::
283. Inter-racial relationships: I'd never marry a Nicaraguan man, yea right. I'm telling you now, white boys all the way just to piss my mom off :p
284. Murder: I think sometimes it can be justified -_-;;
285. Death: is there...
286. Obesity: is bad for you
287. Pre-marital sex: is there any other way?? FUCK NO.
288. Terrorism: It'll never go away.
289. Pornography: It's soo weird. I can only barely tolerate the soft core stuff. In truth it's best in written format.
290. Fortune tellers: so much bullshit
291. Threesomes: I'm a selfish lover, if you're fucking me, you're fucking me.
292. Prostitution: I think it should be legalized ::shrugs::
293. Politics: not for me
294. Country music: is depressing, extremely so
295. George W. Bush: I shave mine
296. Cloning: I don't see the point
297. Britney's boobs: I don't care
298. Gas prices in America: I have no car and thus I no care

~Name Game~
What Do You Think Of When You Hear These Common Names?.
299. Jack: and Jill
300. Tiffany: gag me with a spoon?
301. Ben: the puppy!
302. Maria: the Mexican!
303. Jennifer: from school
304. Nicole: something...
305. Amy: hardcore badass bitch
307. Richard: Danverse
308. Justin: curly
309. Arnold: Hey Arnold!
310. Tom: Thome
311. Melissa: Etheridge?
312. Charlotte: Charlotte Somtimes
313. Harold: Hey Arnold!
314. John: Leguisamo
315. Joel: Joey
316. Vanessa: whore
317. Michelle: mole
318. Kevin: Bacon: Canadia
319. Brent: football
320. Jake: Cake
321. Billy: and Mandy
322. Sarah: ME!!!!!!!
323. Natalie: what a bitch
324. Christi: Kristie
325. Nick: Lache [god, that's bad]
326. Linda: cousin
327. Taylor: Teen Bop
328. Jordan: Catellano from my So Called Life
329. Jamie: likes to dance
330. Adrian: something...

~Have You Ever....~
331. Mooned anyone? No
332. Been on a diet? Not really, I always cheat haha
333. Been to a foreign country? No
334. Broken a bone? Nope
335. Swallowed a tooth/cap/filling: No
336. Swear at a teacher? Yep
337. Talked to a xanga member via e-mails or instant messages? Yea, Elba
338. Got in a fight? Yea
339. Dated a teacher? No, but my math teacher in 11th grade totally wanted to tap this ass.
340. Laughed so hard you peed your pants? No
341. Thought about killing your enemy? Yes
342. Gone skinny dipping? Nope
343. Met another xanga member in the flesh? Well, Elba is my cousin...
344. Told a little white lie? Yes
345. Told a secret you swore not to tell? Yea, but in my defense she backstabbed my first
346. Stolen anything? Yea, mostly boyfriends :p
347. Misused a swear word and it sounded absolutely stupid? Yes. lol
348. Been on TV? Yea
349. Been on the radio? Yea lol
350. Been in a mosh pit? Yea lol
351. Been to a concert? O yea
352. Dated one of your best friends? Well we never technically dated, but I did touch his penis a lot.
353. Loved someone so much it makes you cry? Yeah :(
354. Decieved somebody close to you? Yeah
355. Broken the law? Mmhmm
356. Been to a rodeo? No...
357. Been on a talk show? No
358. Been on a game show? No
359. Been on an airplane? Yep
360. Got to ride on a firetruck? No
361. Came close to dying? Yes.
362. Cheated on a bf/gf? No!
363. Gave someone a piggy back ride? Yes
364. Terrorized a babysitter? No
365. Made a mud pie? No
366. Had a dream that you’re falling off a cliff? No
367. Snuck out of the house at night? Yes
368. Been so drunk you don't remember your name? Nope
369. Had an eating disorder? No
370. Felt like you didn't belong? That's like my entire life lol
371. Felt like the 3rd wheel? Yes
372. Smoked? Yes. Kristie's taken it up and I randomly feel like taking a drag, but I'm strong and I say no ::nods::
373. Done drugs? No.
374. Been arrested? No
375. Had your tonsils removed? No
376. Gone to camp? Nope
377. Won a bet? Yeah
378. Written a love letter? Yep
379. Gone out of your way to be with the one you love? Yes
380. Written a love poem? Yea lol
381. Kissed in the rain? God, I wish. That and in a play ground at night ::nods::
382. Slow danced with someone you love? No, other guys sometimes.
383. Participated in cyber sex? Hrm, kind of...
384. Faked an orgasm? Yea, but I was never actually having sex. I fake orgasms in public to freak people out.
385. Stolen a kiss? No
386. Asked a friend for relationship advice? Yes, never works
387. Had a friend steal your bf/gf? Fuck no, I do the stealing thank you.
388. Watched the sunset/rise with someone you love? No, but I wish
389. Gotten a speeding ticket? No
390. Done jail time? No
391. Had to wear a uniform to work? Yea
392. Won a trophy? Yeah
393. Thrown up in public? Yeah
394. Bowled a perfect game? No
395. Failed/got held back? Nope
396. Got perfect attendance in grade school? No
397. Roasted pumpkin seeds? Nope
398. Taken ballet lessons? Nope
399. Attempted suicide? Never
400. Cut yourself? Nope

~Childhood Stuff~
401. Did you play with Barbies? Nope
402. Did you own Treasure Trolls? No, they're satanic
403. Did you watch Beverly Hills 90210? No
404. Did you play Simon? No
405. Did you watch Fraggle Rock? Hell yeah
406. Did you wet the bed? Nope
407. Did you believe there were monsters in your closet or under your bed? Yes, I still do
408. Did you wear the underwear with the days of the week on them? Fuck yea, I was hot stuff. I need to find me some of those now.
409. Were you shy? Yea, I always have been
410. Were you spoiled? Not really, I was alone a lot
411. Were you abused? Yea, but not by my parents heh
412. Did you go to the circus? Nope
413. Did you go to the zoo? Yeah
414. Were you in a car accident? No
415. Did you build snowmen? No snow in FL :( I once went to NY and made a snow angel though ^_^
416. Did you cry when you scraped your knee? Yes heh
417. Were your older cousins mean to you? Yes, they were
418. Did you think slinkies were cool? Only the metal ones, those plastic thingers just sucked
419. Did you think the Ninja Turtles really lived in the sewer? No.
420. Were you afraid of the dark? Yes, still am.
421. Did you have slumber parties? No.
422. Did you have New Kids On The Block sheets, curtains, sleeping bags, dolls and pajamas? No O_o...
423. Did you tease your hair out like Tiffany? No
424. Did you believe in the Easter Bunny/Santa Claus/ and the Tooth Fairy? No, I never had anyone telling me that type of stuff. I had a very stark and realistically sad childhood lol.

~Randomness~
425. Do you believe in aliens? No.
426. Name three things that are next to your computer: CDs, $45
427. Do you have any hidden talents? That cherry thing and I'm pretty sure I give good head
428. Do you wish MTV would play music videos? I watch Subterranean on MTV2, it's actually a really good show so yea and the VH1 alternative.
429. If you were to star in a movie, what kind of movie would it be? Something not normal, fantastical and weird.
430. What would your movie star name be? Sarah Love
431. Do you play any sports? Soccer, sometimes...
432. What's the scariest movie you've ever seen? Ringu
433. What is the best movie you've seen in the theater or rented recently? The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou
434. What is the dumbest movie you've ever seen? The Lion Kind Part 2 and the first Pokemon movie
435. Do you drive? No
436. What is your dream car? One that moves
437. Do you think your good looking? O yea
438. Do others think you are good looking? Yeah
439. Would you ever sky dive? I don't know
440. Do you believe in Bigfoot? No
441. How many rooms do you have in your house? 5
442. Are you afraid of roller coasters? No
443. Do you believe in God? Yes
444. Do you believe in Satan? Yes
445. Do you believe there is a heaven? Kind of
446. Do you believe there is a hell? Yes
447. Do you own a pooltable? No
448. Do you have a pool? No
449. Do you have a dishwasher in your kitchen? No :(
450. Do you like chocolate? mhm.
451. Who/what is on your 2004 calendar? Don't have a calendar.
452. How many U.S. states have you been to? Illinois, New York, New Jersey, Georgia Airport and Florida
453. Ever wished on a shooting star? Yes
454. Best Halloween costume you ever wore? I've never dressed up.
455. Do you carry any weapons on you? a pen
456. What is your weakness? I know that if he asked to me, I'd do anything he wanted me to ::shrugs::
457. Name something you can't get enough of: Loving
458. Describe yourself in 3 adjectives: what are those again?
459. How many kids do you want to have? 0
460. Future daughters names: number one and number two
461. Future sons names: refer to above answer
462. What is your ideal way to die? In a non-painful sort of way or very dramatically
463. How do you release stress? Thinking thinking thinking
464. Are you a trendy person? O, but yes.
465. Are you an artistic person? I'd say so.
466. Are you a realistic person? Not really.
467. Do you un-tie your shoes every time you take them off? No
468. Are you a strong person? No
469. Are you a strong willed person? It depends on the situation, there are some people that I kind of melt around and enjoy being submissive to. Well not people, person, let's be realistic. I'm pathetic.
470. Who is the last person to e-mail you? Nobody e-mails me ::sobs::
471. Who is the last person to IM you? Christine
472. Do you hate chain e-mails? Yeah
473. Are you a deep sleeper? Yes
474. Are you a good story teller? I should hope so.
475. What do you believe is your best quality? My sense of humor.
476. What is your greatest accomplishment? I don't know, actually I do know but it's so weird I'll keep it to myself lol.
477. Do you like to burn candles or incense? Yea
478. Do you do yoga? Yea
479. Do you have your own credit card? No
480. Let's say you win the lotto. Bye mom!!
481. Do you have a check book? No
482. Do you like your driver? um... well my mom's always yelling at me in the car so yea
483. Do you tan easily? Yeah.
484. What color is your hair naturally? Dark Brown
485. How many fillings do you have? Two... I think
486. How many cavities did you have at your last dentist visit? I don't remember...
487. Worst feeling in the world? Loneliness
488. Best feeling in the world? Love
489. Is the glass half empty or half full? It has stuff in it...
490. Last thing you downloaded? I don't remember...
491. Do you catch yourself using online terms in your real life? No, what am I, some sort of unfuckable loser???
492. What do you think people think of you? Quiet at first, bitch much later.
493. Are you a likeable person? It depends on the person and how good they are at taking jokes.
494. Do you need therapy? I think so -_-;;
495. Do you take medication for a chemical imbalance? No
496. What the best way to be proposed to? In a forest at night ::nods::
497. What kind of movie would you star in? I answered this already... no?
498. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP? They'd call it UPSex. [I like Shin's answer]
499. When are you moving? Soon, hopefully.
500. What's your favorite phrase? HEY!
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