Monday, February 13, 2006

Broken Home, Broken Life, Broken Child-Part 15-No One Cared Then, No One Cares Now
when we finished of the coffee me and Tuck were gonna see what we were gonna do. cigeratte in hand, we set of for the day. we came to the Fairville Community Church. it was a shack, a place where people went to worship God. my parents never took me. i didnt know shit about God all my life, and i always thought He was just out to screw me over. that probobly wasnt true, but i didnt care wat was anymore i had my own life and beliefs. we saw the pastor walking down the steps. i wasnt sure what to expect. "what a beautiful day aye brothers?" he said in a cherry voice. me and Tuck looked at each other and laughed. "uh sure, brother..." i said. me and Tuck laughed. "im sure you were on your way to worship god, am i right?" he asked. "not really....we were gonna go buy some smokes and drink, maybe party and cut a little bit." i said. "yeah u know, i guess we could think about god while doing it though." Tuck said. we laughed. the pastor was surpirsed we'd mock him like that. "i have a kid like you guys. i would guess you'd know him. his name is Teddy." he said. "yes we know him...." i said. "well, Teddy has problems just like you. he was inisent once and ever since his mother died he hasnt been the same. hes had pain about it, but he cant seem to put it behind him." he explained. "pain isnt that easy to put behind you, sometimes the pain that wasnt so hard on you is but other times the pain that was peircing like a knife leaves a bigger scar. one that you see everyday and never forget." i said seriously. i thought that the pastor might be an alchoholic maybe that was what might have bothered Teddy. the fact that his mother died and his father had a problem with drinking after that. "whats your name kid?" he asked. "Kurt, Kurt Blackwood.." i said. Tuck gulpped, he was sure that the pastor would know something about me. he wasnt scared, but he wasnt so sure about telling him about it. "so your the Blackwood boy, the one they've been looking for. i know about you. Teddy speaks fondly of you. he says your an inspiration to kids with pains around here. they call you Kurt-Cain, and your the leader of all these hooligans around here. yes i know very much about you....." he said with a grin. "yeah, i am...." i said with confidence. he seemed a little intimadated. "i understand why you have problems. your parents were drunks. i knew your father very well. not your mother so much, but your dad and i were friends. after he was killed, you left and then your house burned down. after that i didnt hear much about you. you dissapeared from Fairville and ran off to New York City." he said. he continued, "did you kill your dad Kurt?" he asked. "why?" i asked. "because, i think you did son. you have so much sin in your life. it bothers you. does it not?" he quized. "no in fact i enjoy pain very much. and you are some kind of alchoholic. i know, ive heard Teddy say you were out drinking with my dad a couple times. and you too also have problems, so i wouldnt be pointing fingers." i said. Tuck was agreeing and was waiting for the pastor to address him. "its true, your father and i went out sometimes but thats beyond the point, did you not kill your father son." he asked again. i paused and looked to the ground and then away into the horizon, "yes, yes i did, and you know what?" i said "what?" he asked, "i dont regret it, not for one fucking second of my life. as a matter of fact, i think it was the thing ive done for myself my entire life." i said "did you burn down your house as well?" he asked "no, no i didnt, and i woundnt lie." i said. he looked at me and shook his head, "and you what about you" he said to Tuck. Tuck looked at him, "i'm Tuck Heinzman" he said. the pastor looked at him, "yes ive heard of you too. your Kurt's right hand man. your parents live over on Grassfield Blvd. they kicked you out. nobody really hears from them much anymore." the pastor said. "hey, you know u know us now what is your name?" i interrupted. "i am Pastor Fredrick Simmons, and ive known you boys ever since Teddy insists on talking about you all the time." he said. "so what are you gonna do now? call the police and have me turned in? send me away and ruin the lives of thousands of kids in the Tri-State area?" i asked. "no, i am gonna pray for you, and hope that you'll bring your lives back to God." he answered. "i'd doubt it, we're ruined." i said. "no son, your just lost. and someday, maybe, you can be saved from your pain...." he said. "maybe not...." i said. "well you never know." he said. "i have to run, God Bless You kids." he said. with that he turned and walked down the sidewalk and soon he was gone. me and Tuck looked at each other. we thought that was a major waste of time and by 3:00 maybe it came in handy. we were sitting on the curb of the Sheetz smoking cigerattes when Teddy went inside. we got up and went in. "hey Teddy what's up?" i asked. "hey you can't smoke in here." said the manager as he walked by. "sir, please stop harrassing me and go swab the fuckin toilet." i said he didnt reply he just walked of. Tuck flipped him the bird everytime he looked at us. "i'm leavin guys." he said as he grabbed a Rock Star energy drink out of the freezer. it was ironic how we were talking to Teddy's dad earlier and how Teddy was having a crisis. "well, why?" asked Tuck as he grabbed a Rock Star too. "because im taking care of my dad's drunk ass night after night and i'm tired of him coming home after hes gone forever. im tired of his fugly girlfriend and im tired of life as i know it..." he answered "we was talkng to your dad today, he didnt say he cared for you at all." i said, i knew this wasnt helping, but didnt Teddy deserve to know?" "yeah i know he doesnt..." he said as he walked over to the check out. "well, where are you gonna go?" i asked. Tuck hid his Rock Star in his pocket and the clerk snapped and pointed to the counter. Tuck layed it up there. "i dont know, i was planning on going to the city or something." Teddy said as he looked at the srceen with the total $3.15 on it and handed money to the clerk. Tuck did the same. i knew that Teddy couldnt handle the city. and i also knew the cops were out to get me as well. so it was probobly a good idea for me and Tuck to go, but then Teddy wouldnt have any help. "you can stay at the bridge." Tuck suggested as we walked out the door. Teddy just stood there and pondered. "yeah, maybe i could. i dont't think my dad would look for me." he said. "yeah, your welsome to come down there with us." i said. "yeah i think i'll do that." he said. he looked out into the horizon. and saw the sun just getting ready to set, "no one cared then, no one cares now." he said. he sounded lke he was gonna cry. i knew it was hard for him. i didnt want him to be upset. "it will be ok man, we've got your back if you need anything." Tuck said. "yeah, you'll learn to enjoy it." i said. i thought of Niles at that moment. i had no idea where he could have been. i worried for him. if Teddy wasnt very emotionally set for this, then would Niles be ok? i felt like it was my responsiblity. like he was my little brother and i needed to watch out for him. but something told me that he would be alright, and he would pop up from time to time seeing how much he was fond of me. like actually and phsically was his brother. he didnt have any siblings after all. "Kurt?" Tuck asked as he snapped his fingers in front of my face. "oh what?" i asked shaking off my thoughts. "are you ok man?" Tuck asked. "yeah, yeah im fine..." i answered. Teddy stared at me like there was something wrong with me. but he just turned away and started walking with us to where his life was gonna be forever. you could tell he was new to it. he didnt look like us. he had feelings. you could see it in his eyes he body. he was going to have it rough. but i knew he would ajust. anything out here had way more to offer him than his old life. "oh fuck i need a smoke" Tuck said has he pulled a cigeratte out of his pocket. he handed one to each me and Teddy. "you smoke?" Tuck asked as he lit his cigeratte. "yes actually i do, i just dont drink.." Teddy replied. "why?" i asked as i lit my cigeratte too. "because my dad is an achoholic, and i dont wanna turn out like him" he replied. Tuck handed him his lighter and he lit it and handed it back to Tuck. "i thought your dad was a drunk" i said taking a drag. Teddy looked at me as he took one too then blew the smoke out and looked out into the horizon. "ever since my mom....." he stopped. "i know..." i said he looked down and he had the sadest expression ive ever seen on anyone's face. "it'll be ok Teddy." i said nicely. "i know, its just, she was the only one who ever cared for me, and now she's gone forever" he said eyes watering. "how long?" i asked. "3 years in May" he answered throwing his cigeratte to the ground. "well, should we head back?" Tuck said as he threw his cigeratte down. i did the same and me and Teddy followed him. coversation was sparing. we hardly talked at all on the way there. Teddy wasnt sure what he was in for. he was thinking maybe he was gonna get some sort of iniation. when we got back it was 5:00 and the sun was gone and the sky was glowing orange. everyone was looking at Teddy. most of them knew Teddy, but were puzzled that he was down under the bridge. he didnt really mind, and it wasnt as bad as he suspected. "Tuck, find somewhere for Teddy to sleep." i said Tuck nodded and showed Teddy a place near him. i looked into the horizon as most people do when the think. the wind blew my hair into my eyes and a chill went up my spine from the cold as well as my thoughts. the stars were coming out, and the night was coming, and that ment, so were the nightmares.....but tonight, i could tell, it was going to be out of the ordinary...

to be continued
Comments (4)