"The wind bloweth where it listeth, and thou hearest the sound thereof, but canst not tell whence it cometh, and whither it goeth: so is every one that is born of the Spirit."
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
salutations
hey man whats up? i am doing better then i was which is super awesome what about you? last week i was all pukey and gross now i seem better. i went to my neurologist and he has added another pill to my mix called lyrica. we'll see if it works i need to call it in but i am so lazy you know lol. i finished the book cris gave me it was pretty good. i busted my keyboard last week so the space button wouldnt work arent i a dork lol? i spilt water on it by accident and had to get a new one. i wrote a test today which didnt seem to bad. last week i wanted to murder my room mates because they keep turning on lights really late at night and then they wake me up and talk and dont turn the lights off when they leave. then i cant fall back to sleep. it seems to have passed though since blake told them to respect my request lol. i guess though i have class in an hour i am going to rest a bit before then
love you all
heather
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Friday, October 13, 2006
feel free to ignore this post its mostly for my own benefit...
someone once said depression does not discriminate.
and it doesn't.
it does not care about sex, age or race. There is know standard it needs to effect you. Depression effects you
it effects me
it is the invisible monster under the bed that makes you to afraid to move. to afraid to do anything.
and what is there for it? pills? they just replace the problem with another.
fuck...
...
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my update for today is that i am doing pretty good aside from what the top of this might lead you to believe. Johan has gone to visit his mommy and daddy and i have a doctors appointment on monday. yay.
love
heather
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Wednesday, October 4, 2006
signal does not compute
hey well things are ok me and johan are fine since the night all that bull shit happened he took me out to dinner and bought me shit lol(like pocky and jack skellington!) school is ok i totally bombed the test on monday i cried i was so upset lol plus my placement is alittle screwed up right now but its not so bad. there some stuff going on that makes me worried and a bit nervous but i am going to cross my fingers it goes away. my councilor i had for awhile is no longer with the school so that kind of sucks. i havent been sleeping well at all i keep having really bad dreams.
on another note when i am at placement i really enjoy it; it is alot of fun and i am excited to be organizing the program for girls. i asked my mom in belgium via email and she said johan could come back with me for thanks giving this weekend so that is awesome. i want him to meet adam also maybe adams friend is having a cd release party or something i have been invited to i hope he can come. its cool everyone is going to be in town. even sarah and kat! maybe we can go to kools warehouse or something one night. its hard since i dont drive though. anyways over all things are pretty good i am fairly happy with life today...
love you all
especially you cris :P
heather
p.s- i now own the adams family movies...they rock....ohhh and ginger snaps too(all 3)
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Thursday, September 28, 2006
is it always like this...
Johan is laying 1/2 on my bed 1/2 off. we arent really talking that much. it is always like this after we bicker. we dont even bicker i take all the blame and then he feels like a bad boyfriend. i am a loser loser loser loser loser loser loser loser....
you know it was just i was so ready to go when ig ot home from work and excited and i had things to tell him and then well he was very in the mood too and then i found out well i asked him why and he said cuz he had been teasing bethany....
i guess it just shut me off
i am a bitch
then he said i guess it was also cuz i said on the phone i was too you know...when i got home i called. u know things r always good just when something happens we cant both be like this....
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.
.
.
.
..
...fucking whore(myself i mean lol)
akara
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Tuesday, September 26, 2006
greetings and salutations
hey guys, whats up? placement starts 2morrow i am so nervous. i dont know what they will have me do but whatever it is i hope i do well at it. i am riding my bike there. when i know where it is i will take the bus if one goes by. classes today are ok i still have one left. its only an hour though. i kind of like being split up in different groups now for our classes so were not always with the same people we have been for the last year. my seizures are ok i guess johan says he sees me have them when i sleep sometimes i wonder what i look like when it happens. i havent taken sleeping pills in a long time and it is getting so i find it hard to fall asleep and then i wake up with panic attacks sometimes. i will start taking the sleeping pill and if that only partially works the antidepressant too. i know i should be taking them anyways. it is getting cold you know that means winter is coming. i really love winter but i will be sad i cant wear any skanky outfits anymore for the most part lol. Johan's working so i wont see him till later this afternoon which is ok i am meeting him downtown. gotta make money i guess. we are waiting to hear back form the bank to see if he got the loan for school. i hope so. i havent talked to scott in a long time but i have his picture on my wall. in abuse against women class it bothers me thinking about him sometimes. i dont know why....oh well lol. my room looks pretty goood here i need to pick it up once in awhile but otehrwise its pretty cool. anyways i hope you are all doing well.
derenzo i am happy to hear things are going well for you...
luff,
~akara~
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