AIM • ... E-mail •Click Here Website •Click Here Yahoo! Messenger • Ai_Manganime
Vitals
Birthday • 1993-07-23 Gender •
Female Location • The World Member Since • 2006-04-22 Occupation • School Person Real Name •
Personal
Achievements • I've gotten a compliment Anime Fan Since • 3. I'm obsessed with it. My thoughts are only in animation now I'm so fucked up. Favorite Anime • Helling, KH, Naruto(kinda), Angel Sanctuary, Love Hina, Absolute Boyfriend, Chobits, Vampire Doll, Beyblades, Negima, DeaTh NoTe Goals • Modeling- Lolita or whatever I can get, Actress, or Porn Hobbies • Computer and Talking, Plus, Alone time. You can also find me playing Poke'mon games Talents • ... Wow... I'm really NOT all that talented
myOtaku.com: A Non-follower
Wednesday, June 28, 2006
*sigh*
My family has been ignoring me for so long. Nobody ever talks to me anymore. My depression has been occuring more often. *looks down* My childhood was always trying to be patched up a lot. My life now is just a strangly ball of yarn. I went to a family picnic at my dad's yesterday, and nobody knew who I was. It mad me sad and broken how people were giving me looks and whispering mean things about me. I think when I get back to school, I'm going to end up broken. *sigh* I try not to think of my family a lot. I haven't been talking to 99% of my friends this summer because I feel so out of body, out of mind, and apart. A few friends say I'm acting like a big pussy. Words don't hurt from them. My ex keeps calling me, but he's suicidal so I feel terrible everytime I call him. I also hate him to death. I've also been having thoughts of suicide. I'm afraid to tell mom because my cousin is practicly my hero and I looke up to her a lot and she suffered from depression so I think if I tell mom, she would just say I'm copying Julie (my cousin) and trying to get attention. I really don't like attention from her. It feels dirty being around her half the time. I also don't let her hug me or kiss me. I don't say I love her either. I just don't feel love for very many people. I've tried saying I love her but nothing ever comes out of my mouth when I try. I don't really say I love anyone. I love 2 people. Cartoons don't count. I love my friend like the only person I have in this world, and a satanist. My one friend, whenever she feels sad, I'll even go over my edge and my limits to make her at least smile. Seeing her sad make me cruble inside. She doesn't cry like I do. She got sick of crying. I'll always care for her... even when she hates me more than I could ever imagine. Well, I'm going to theeapy tonight. I wonder how much longer I can keep my depression a secret. It feels good to let it out on this post. I'm glad I don't have to worry about commiting suicide. As much as I hate my fucking body, I would never want to take a knife or anything to draw my impure, poisonous blood. I also believe in a heaven. God doesn't take suicidals. But everyday, I think of killing myself.
This iz A Non-follower,
signing off.
Thhank you for listening. *bows*
Here's a happy song, since I've been on youtube all day.
